[hiiminsane]

Hi, so I am 20 years old have been diagnosed bipolar a few times but I am still kind of in denial but it would make alot of sense. I used to do stupid impulsive things like spend 1000 dollars in a week, go on drug binges, ruin relationships with people and alot of other stupid things which would take too long to list. I take medication now lithium, lexapro, and klonopin and it helps but when I am not really energetic and happy and in my own little world doing stupid stuff for fun I am very depressed like suicidal. I think about death all day and fantasize about walking into cars or falling asleep and not waking up or sometimes the thought of a gun to my head. The medicine helps but I don't know what to do the longest I have not had suicidal thoughts is maybe like 1-2 weeks and that was during the summer so. Like I wish I could just be happy and not crash back into depression over and over and over and over and over again but I can't figure how not to. Sorry for so much typing so please help me I guess

[~Christina]

Medication is only going to help half the problem, You also need to be in Therapy where you will learn skills to have a more stable life.

Coping skills like, Breathing skills, Meditation, Mindfulness, Good sleep hygiene, Grounding skills, Healthy foods, Exercise, Yoga, Cardio, learning how to use Boundaries and what they actually are. Find out what your triggers are and how to manage them...... The list goes on and on. It really boils down to a major lifestyle change.

Bipolar needs to be attacked from all sides . Bipolar cycles , that's what is does "cycle" The goal in treating and living with Bipolar is to cut down on the amount of episodes you have.

If your having thoughts of hurting yourself your Pdoc really needs to know about. If you feel unsafe reach out for help now. A crisis line or the ER ..

Welcome to PC Just keep posting, remember your first 5 posts needs to be Okay'd by a Moderator, after that once you hit submit your post will show.

[hiiminsane]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Medication is only going to help half the problem, You also need to be in Therapy where you will learn skills to have a more stable life.

Coping skills like, Breathing skills, Meditation, Mindfulness, Good sleep hygiene, Grounding skills, Healthy foods, Exercise, Yoga, Cardio, learning how to use Boundaries and what they actually are. Find out what your triggers are and how to manage them...... The list goes on and on. It really boils down to a major lifestyle change.

Bipolar needs to be attacked from all sides . Bipolar cycles , that's what is does "cycle" The goal in treating and living with Bipolar is to cut down on the amount of episodes you have.

If your having thoughts of hurting yourself your Pdoc really needs to know about. If you feel unsafe reach out for help now. A crisis line or the ER ..

Welcome to PC Just keep posting, remember your first 5 posts needs to be Okay'd by a Moderator, after that once you hit submit your post will show.

I have tried breathing skills and exercise those don't really help that much. I have panic disorder as well so it is very difficult for me to calm down. Never really tried meditation its hard for me to concentrate. Sleeping is hard but I think the lithium helps with that and I am not very good with boundaries they do not really exist in my head. Also, its strange I will get really really depressed and suicidal for a few days and then I will feel happy again maybe abnormally happy I'm not sure but I have started to notice a pattern because that just happens over and over again. Happy sad happy sad happy but sad is obviously suicidal and happy is sometimes impulsive and dumb. I vaporize weed to help me calm down but I might stop with that soon and I have been to the mental hospital before the doctor there said I had racing thoughts, I was manic, irritable, and I had suicidal Ideation so I guess that is bipolar. Sorry for typing so much hope this is not too much to read

[~Christina]

Coping skills aren't going to be easy to learn or use when needed, it takes huge effort and practice practice practice .

Do you have a Therapist that you see? If so they will be able to teach you coping skills. If you don't have one.... you really need one.

Usually people learn one coping skill at a time and just keep adding more and more. Once you learn a calming coping skill its much easier to learn the next and the next.

It's a process and unfortunatly there isn't a short cut.

There are also Youtube videos that you can view that could certainly be helpful.

Don't give up, just keep working on until you start finding things that will help you and your own unique Bipolar.

[hiiminsane]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Coping skills aren't going to be easy to learn or use when needed, it takes huge effort and practice practice practice .

Do you have a Therapist that you see? If so they will be able to teach you coping skills. If you don't have one.... you really need one.

Usually people learn one coping skill at a time and just keep adding more and more. Once you learn a calming coping skill its much easier to learn the next and the next.

It's a process and unfortunatly there isn't a short cut.

There are also Youtube videos that you can view that could certainly be helpful.

Don't give up, just keep working on until you start finding things that will help you and your own unique Bipolar.

Yeah I have a therapist. I have been with the same one for over a year and I don't think she knows what to do with me. I have found natural coping skills are much easier to learn with medication like they seem to do more I'm not sure. Also, I am not good with coping skills at all I usually just turn to my meds because nothing else seems to work. I don't respond to stress very well at all sometimes it causes me to get suicidal and I don't know why. Lastly, I have never thought of youtube videos and I am going to this bipolar group so hopefully that will help

[Mimielam]

[QUOTE=hiiminsane;4180884]Hi, .....

Like I wish I could just be happy and not crash back into depression over and over and over and over and over again but I can't figure how not to. Sorry for so much typing so please help me I guess[/QUOTE

1-take you're meds
2-follow pdoc's advice
3-ask, find, get therapy, support group, support friend, family
4-sleep 7 to 8 hours everyday
5-Eat good food, 3 meals, fluids lots of fluids (not too much caffein or alcool)
6-Take time out to do things you like that make you feel good
7-call doc or emergency or helpline when invasive tought of suicide are there
8-no drugs
9-invest in a sport activity, or an interest, art, music, etc..keep busy doing healthy stuff
10-focus on subjects you like, be creative, focus on the wow stuff you achieve
11- write a journal,
12-track you're mood..meds, etc...

remember it will pass..just a few days ago I felt like crap and the next day I felt happy and today was just a "normal easy going day" I guess in my case, I tend to forget that I've had much more better days than lousy days..witch reminds me..I really really need to start writing about all the good stuff I've experiences or done..hope you feel better soon

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way.

I agree with the above posters, being on the right meds makes all the difference.

These intrusive thoughts are awful.

But once you have stability they will pass.

Here's wishing you well. Take care of yourself and let us know how you go.

[hiiminsane]

[QUOTE=Mimielam;4181629]

Originally Posted by hiiminsane

Hi, .....

Like I wish I could just be happy and not crash back into depression over and over and over and over and over again but I can't figure how not to. Sorry for so much typing so please help me I guess[/QUOTE

1-take you're meds
2-follow pdoc's advice
3-ask, find, get therapy, support group, support friend, family
4-sleep 7 to 8 hours everyday
5-Eat good food, 3 meals, fluids lots of fluids (not too much caffein or alcool)
6-Take time out to do things you like that make you feel good
7-call doc or emergency or helpline when invasive tought of suicide are there
8-no drugs
9-invest in a sport activity, or an interest, art, music, etc..keep busy doing healthy stuff
10-focus on subjects you like, be creative, focus on the wow stuff you achieve
11- write a journal,
12-track you're mood..meds, etc...

remember it will pass..just a few days ago I felt like crap and the next day I felt happy and today was just a "normal easy going day" I guess in my case, I tend to forget that I've had much more better days than lousy days..witch reminds me..I really really need to start writing about all the good stuff I've experiences or done..hope you feel better soon

I take my meds more often now but they only help and don't fix the problem. I will see pdoc today so we will see what they say. Family is almost useless, I go to therapy every week, I kinda have friends but I only talk to them online, I lost the rest of my friends from episodes and stuff. Sleeping is difficult, I wish I could sleep 8 hours but I just can't, meds take it to like 5 hours so I guess thats good. I have an eating disorder, wierd because I am a male but I think I am anorexic, meds also make me less hungry so that does not help, I have to force myself to eat. Not alot of things make me feel good the only things that do are self destructive. I never really talk to anyone when I'm suicidal I just kind of wait it out. No drugs is a hard one but meds help with that, I do self medicate with marijuana alot though I really need to stop I need something that will make me want to stop. I do really like music but I don't have alot of healthy hobbies like at all. I don't really know what I'm good at I have been depressed all my life I was never really good at anything besides being depressed and doing depressed things. I have written in journals before but mainly to rant and vent and sometimes it can be quite disturbing what I write so I don't really do it anymore.

and yes it always passes I will be suicidal one day then feel so happy the next to the point of being self-destructive you know? but I get so caught up in the moment and it is very hard to control.

[hiiminsane]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

I'm sorry that you're feeling this way.

I agree with the above posters, being on the right meds makes all the difference.

These intrusive thoughts are awful.

But once you have stability they will pass.

Here's wishing you well. Take care of yourself and let us know how you go.

Yeah I don't know the suicidal thoughts only go away from medication I have noticed. Its much much worse when I'm unmedicated and stability seems impossible I bounce around between depression and happiness so often it seems unrealistic