[cjb221177]

These last few months have been hell. I initiated a separation from my wife of 8 years and have been suffering from what I thought was depression for 7 years.
Two weeks ago I had a breakdown and suicide attempt and was diagnosed with bipolar I disorder. Started new meds (300mg Seroquel, 50mg Lamictal, 0.5mg Klonopin) and I feel amazing for most of the day. The only issue is the evenings where the meds are wearing off before the next dose. Last night, I put the kids to bed around 8pm and took my Seroquel. The next few hours were so lonely and sad it felt impossible not to think dark thoughts. I would browse the web looking at Pinterest for positive messages but my mind would eventually lead me to the more depressing images (of which there are plenty to choose from .... Thanks Pinterest!).
How do other suffers busy themselves during these brief but all to frequent dark periods in their lives??? In the past I would grabbed a beer or ten but I'm also trying sobriety at the moment so that's not an option, and to be honest alcohol just makes me feel worse for the following few days.
I'd love to hear your thoughts.
Cjb x

[pegasus]

Hello Cjb, your new meds are going to take a while to get fully into your system. Please be gentle with yourself, having had a breakdown is akin to breaking a leg, just can't see it! I also recently separated and find the winter months to be not-so-good for my mental health. Use Psych Central as much as you need, there is a games area down the bottom of the forum and there is always someone online to talk to. You are not alone.

[Gray Rider]

I try to tell myself that I'm doing better than I'm feeling. I also try to keep it together so that when I am feeling better my life will still hopefully be intact. Also I remember that sometimes having a lover comes with its own new set of problems. Loneliness has got to be the worst feeling especially during the holidays. I understand the dark thoughts, many of us have them.

[Justugh]

yah man no drinking on those meds ..........u might of been able to handled a 12 pack in the day but now 3 beers will knock u on your ***

those times u feel like that come here ............flip around this site and help ppl if u can if not u know someone out there is like u or worst so not as bad as u thought

just so u know u are never truly alone anyone depends on what u think u got ghost /angels/demons/aliens/bugs/microbe life forms all over the place /and maybe even some astral projection person ..........more in heaven and hell then dreamt of by man

[loophole]

Your situation sounds eerily similar to mine. Married 7 years with kids and also in the middle of seperation... It sucks.. I feel your pain.. Im not to sure what else to say.. Be happy to talk. Good luck and stay positive.. I agree with you alcahol seems like a solution but at the end of the day it will only make things ten times harder.. Just to be clear I never think of a drink when the kids are with me.. Just when im by myself.. Which is a lot

[LostMommy227]

Loneliness is the worst. I think it's brought on by bp. Not just depression, but hypo and mania too. I get the feeling I'm alone even though I'm in a crowded room, hanging with friends (back when I had some close by) or lying next to my husband and daughter. I hate that feeling.

[cjb221177]

Considering that was my first post on this site I am overwhelmed by the kindness and compassion shown by you all. Everything you have said resonates with me and now I know we are all part of this much larger support network I'll always feel like I have someone to talk to. For what it's worth, Saturday evening wasn't as bad as Friday. I did buy some alcohol free beer yesterday ... As a scottish man, if news of this gets back to the motherland I might get banished! But saying that it kinda scratched the itch I had so maybe there is some benefit to it after all.
To those in the same situation as myself or to those of you just in need of someone to talk to, I'm free to talk anytime.

[Justugh]

goood to hear

if u want a beer u can do that but be ready for it to hit yah like it is the 5th or 6th one

i use to be a big drinker hell i make my own moonshine 140% but seroquel is not drinking friend ...........for parties and stuff i stop taken it for about 2 days so i can drink some then start it back up once the hang over has ended

my grandfather is a McDaniel so if they kick u out come over to our clan it might be small but we are crazy loons so no one messes with us