[loophole]

So me and my wife have been in therapy now for quite a long time. Seperated now as well. Everytime I meet I learn more **** and I just am sick sick pissed over this ****. Today I found out my wife talked to my mom and got her to call my therapist and talk to her about my mom and dads marriage. Yeah **** that. I'm beginning to believe I don't belong here and I been hating people for a long time and now I'm just like **** people. I know your all people too but I'm sure at least a few of ou relate. Everytime I turn around I just want to rip my hair out of my ****ing head. Something new everyday

Sent from my iPhone 6 plus using Tapatalk

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi loophole

I'm sorry you're going through a difficult time.

I'm sorry you and your wife have separated despite the therapy. This can be very strenuous on relationships.

I can't say I'm entirely sure of the reasoning behind your mom needing to speak to YOUR therapist about their marriage

I hope you are able to work through your anger.

[~Christina]

I'm sorry that anger is taking over everything right now. Try to throw your hands up and just let everything play out how ever it may come. You have been trying to swim upstream for so long, just float for a while, just float.

[BlackSheep79]

Doesn't your therapist talking to your mom without your permission go against the ethical standards that a therapist is to uphold? I would be pist off to say the least. I'm sorry you are going thru this.

[loophole]

Thank you. How do you guys not say anything when people are screwing you over? I'm a person that hates confrontation but I never ever let people get over on me. Work home life nope. How do you all handle this crap?

Sent from my iPhone 6 plus using Tapatalk

[Imah]

An outside adult trying to talk to your therapist actually looks bad on them, not you. Your therapist will see the manipulation that apparently your wife is so convinced over some issue, that she got mom involved to try to force a point. This will not work.

I wonder how much they are really seeing or hearing YOU. I was 43 before someone came into my life who really supported ME - not their own agenda.

When you get a personal therapist - not a couples therapist, they can help you uncover what you really want. Another way to do that is to really let yourself feel what you want. Not for anyone else, but for you.

Take this chance at it being a new year beginning day to begin anew with designing your life to become what you dream it to be. We only live once. Be kind, be fair - but also be honest with yourself.

Best of luck to us all.

[loophole]

Originally Posted by Imah

An outside adult trying to talk to your therapist actually looks bad on them, not you. Your therapist will see the manipulation that apparently your wife is so convinced over some issue, that she got mom involved to try to force a point. This will not work.

I wonder how much they are really seeing or hearing YOU. I was 43 before someone came into my life who really supported ME - not their own agenda.

When you get a personal therapist - not a couples therapist, they can help you uncover what you really want. Another way to do that is to really let yourself feel what you want. Not for anyone else, but for you.

Take this chance at it being a new year beginning day to begin anew with designing your life to become what you dream it to be. We only live once. Be kind, be fair - but also be honest with yourself.

Best of luck to us all.

Nicely articulated. Made me feel a lot better. Thank you

Sent from my iPhone 6 plus using Tapatalk

[gayleggg]

Are you seeing a separate counselor for just yourself? I think that this would be very helpful. My counselor says he could never counsel my husband and I as a couple because he couldn't be objective since he has been seeing me individually. That's the first thing I would do, make sure I had someone that had no connection to the rest of my family.

As far as how I handle circumstances like these is I talk to my therapitst who usually offers helpful incite that helps me look at things out is my scope of things.

I would probably talk to my mother about how I felt when I found out she had called my therapist, of course, you would want to have you anger in check before doing this. And since I don't know your history with your mom it might be a bad idea. It's something I would bounce off my therapist and see what he thinks.

I, also, have the Serenity Prayer in several places to remind me that I'm not in control and that I can't control other people or their thoughts.

And if my therapist wasn't helping with these things and adding helpful information or suggestions I would find another one.

I hope that 2015 gets better for you. It is never any fun to be in the middle of a battle, even if it is a battle for your marriage. I hope things work out in a way you can find peace with whatever happens.

[loophole]

Thank you

Sent from my iPhone 6 plus using Tapatalk

I don't know when it started for me, but I finally got enough of an emotional distance that I could see my family's craziness and harmful actions for what they are--not about me but their own stuff. And, for whatever reason, it makes me laugh. A lot. My therapist asked me if I really think all this stuff is funny because she can feel the pain under it, and I told her yes...I genuinely think it's hilarious, and yes the pain is still there. So, she gets it, gets the hilarity I find in it. And the pain. But laughing at this bizarre world/life is better for me than being angry.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by loophole

Thank you. How do you guys not say anything when people are screwing you over? I'm a person that hates confrontation but I never ever let people get over on me. Work home life nope. How do you all handle this crap?

Sent from my iPhone 6 plus using Tapatalk

Anyone can contact your Therapist, Its not illegal , If your Therapist works on issues that are brought up and the person that called is not on your approved contact list then your Therapist is unethical "unless" a person is suicidal or homicidal

I okay'd that my Therapist could speak with my husband, albeit only if I were in a crisis.

You need to verify with your Pdoc if you did sign anything allowing others to contact your Pdoc? For other reason than "you are suicidal or homicidal"

As far as your feeling the need to fight against every one about the variety of reason, "getting over on you" .. I'm sorry that is a case of picking your battles... I understand your anger , I really do , but you need to find someway .. somehow to not allow yourself to get sucked into the BS.. I know .. easier said than done.

Make a plan .. Check with your Pdoc, If you did in fact allow your wife or whoever to call and know what and how your T is going , you can change that and shut everyone out, Like I said unless you are a threat to yourself or others.

Im so very sorry your in such a terrible position. I hope it eases up.

[loophole]

Appreciate the kind words. Some of these replies here have kind of at least helped me realize there are other avenues to go down them to just get pissed and go off.. I did some bilateral treatments with emcd during iop. I recently started looking into hypnosis which is kind of a form of it if you ask me... It has helped.. Trying to just put my brain at peace... Course I'm hypo manic right now and all of this seems interesting to me.. See if that holds up and I stay with it

Sent from my iPhone 6 plus using Tapatalk