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  #1  
Old Jan 05, 2015, 02:23 PM
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memson memson is offline
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OK. So I got my diagnosis really late. Actually just last year after almost 20 years of misdiagnosis and a lifetime of symptoms. The worst of which is this overwhelming feeling that I'm completely burned out. I feel like an old flashlight battery; when you turn it on it glimmers for a few seconds then dims to nothing.
I am, or at least "was", an entrepreneur. Self-employed, self-motivated, and self-managed. I wasn't particularly successful because unbeknownst to me the mood swings are not generally compatible with a successful business model. Right now I barely have the energy or motivation to get out of bed in the morning. Not because I'm depressed but just because I feel totally burned out.
Can anyone else relate to this? What has been your experience?
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  #2  
Old Jan 05, 2015, 03:07 PM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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I'm there with ya
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  #3  
Old Jan 05, 2015, 03:08 PM
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Moogieotter Moogieotter is offline
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Many times, I get worn out from all the cognitive "work" I do to stay stable and functioning. Mornings are often a challenge as I tend to wallow. Probably a combination of bad habits from depressed days and getting older. I'm 41.
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Dx: Bipolar 2, GAD

Current Meds: Prozac 30mg, Lamictal 150mg, Latuda 40mg, Wellbutrin 150 XL

Previous meds I can share experiences from:
AAPs - Risperdal, Abilify, Seroquel
SSRIs - Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft
Mood Stabilizers - Tegretol, Depakote, Neurontin
Other - Buspar, Xanax

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  #4  
Old Jan 05, 2015, 03:49 PM
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LettinG0 LettinG0 is offline
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Same here.....Also diagnosed late in life....the tank is empty.......
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  #5  
Old Jan 05, 2015, 05:50 PM
cool09 cool09 is offline
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Absolutely. Took me decades to get a decent diagnosis and get halfway decent treatment. But I've found that PDOCs usually just treat symptoms if symptoms are very complex and they avoid putting a name on it. I've had very poor mental energy since an adolescence even though I managed to get a technical degree from college. Mood disorders have a tremendous effect on the part of the brain that regulate mental energy, imho. I get drained extremely quickly from the slightest irritability, agitation, anxiety, etc. and I don't think PDOCs catch on to that very well at all. PDOCs downplay lack of energy and don't take it extremely seriously when it continues for a very long extended period of time, imo.

Last edited by cool09; Jan 05, 2015 at 05:53 PM. Reason: add
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  #6  
Old Jan 05, 2015, 06:08 PM
BlackSheep79 BlackSheep79 is offline
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For me I feel like we already have to face the stresses that people without MI have to face and then on top of it the everyday stress of trying to function with the BP and whatever MI we all have since most of us have more than just BP. Just getting to work is my biggest chore for the day because I know the obstacles that I'm going to face, whereas for my husband it's no big deal most days for him to go to work. I'm sure we all do this but we go to work and put on that fake smile. Today I just couldn't do it, and I called in. It's all just too much at times.
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  #7  
Old Jan 05, 2015, 07:17 PM
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Gray Rider Gray Rider is offline
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I'm so burned out right now I am on the verge of not being able to support myself any longer. Its been a tough few years, lots of instability.
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  #8  
Old Jan 05, 2015, 07:32 PM
Anonymous37883
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Agree with everyone. I have other health concerns and am raising 2 kids with health concerns as well. Luckily, I have some financial resources. There is no way I could ever work with all this on my plate.
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  #9  
Old Jan 05, 2015, 07:54 PM
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Wander Wander is offline
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Absolutely. Both Bipolar and PTSD have taken their toll on me. At times I feel I don't have any fight left in me to carry on. At these times it is best to bunker down and wait until the fight returns, and it always does although it may take years in the darkest times.
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  #10  
Old Jan 06, 2015, 12:53 AM
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Manic Trance Manic Trance is offline
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I often really properly am burned out, because I will work in such insane sprints of activity. But more generally, I have these thoughts like 'I'm done', 'I can't go on', 'I don't have anymore in me'... And this is normally with regards to my professional life. I'm relatively successfully at what I do, but I kind of constantly have this feeling like I am out of ideas and no longer have the energy to execute them, though this never turns out to be true. But it's weird to feel like you are facing the end all of the time. Anyhow, don't know if this resonates, but I do often feel burned out for one reason or another.
Best of luck!

MT

Quote:
Originally Posted by memson View Post
OK. So I got my diagnosis really late. Actually just last year after almost 20 years of misdiagnosis and a lifetime of symptoms. The worst of which is this overwhelming feeling that I'm completely burned out. I feel like an old flashlight battery; when you turn it on it glimmers for a few seconds then dims to nothing.
I am, or at least "was", an entrepreneur. Self-employed, self-motivated, and self-managed. I wasn't particularly successful because unbeknownst to me the mood swings are not generally compatible with a successful business model. Right now I barely have the energy or motivation to get out of bed in the morning. Not because I'm depressed but just because I feel totally burned out.
Can anyone else relate to this? What has been your experience?
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Whether you are a big deal or a small deal, there is always some kind of a deal going on.

- Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche
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  #11  
Old Jan 06, 2015, 01:22 AM
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Tucson Tucson is offline
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I can relate to the OP. I have been in the exact same position. Professionally I was a shooting star which quickly fizzled out. This came out of nowhere. I lost allot in my life then.
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  #12  
Old Jan 06, 2015, 01:24 AM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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I agree with everyone, at times its just exhausting and hard to see it getting any better, but Bipolar does cycle, it always does, it will eventually spit you out the other side.

I was diagnosed late also.

I will say that some lifestyle changes really made a huge difference.. more so I feel than the psych meds I use to take.

I cut carbs out of my life, Maybe a carb once or twice a month at most. Carbs bogs me down mentally and physically.

I make sure I get outside daily, unless its a monsoon. I take Vitamin D year round.

I shower every single day no matter what.. Yeah that's a tough one some days, but its my personal law !

I wrote down about 100 positive things on slips of paper and when I am feeling lousy I pull one out and that is my motto or chant for the day, Sounds silly maybe? But hey! whatever works I say. I did have to goggle to get the first useful amount of positive things Once I was feeling better I was able to make up my own.

I hope your able to find a way to feel better soon
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  #13  
Old Jan 06, 2015, 07:47 AM
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100 positive things?? Wow, Christina. I might be able to come up with 20! Even that is pushing it...
  #14  
Old Jan 06, 2015, 07:47 AM
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I hear you; although I would never consider giving it up the constant meditation and CBT can be time consuming. It is, however, one of the key tools to my stability and self-care.
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  #15  
Old Jan 06, 2015, 07:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Manic Trance View Post
I often really properly am burned out, because I will work in such insane sprints of activity. But more generally, I have these thoughts like 'I'm done', 'I can't go on', 'I don't have anymore in me'... And this is normally with regards to my professional life. I'm relatively successfully at what I do, but I kind of constantly have this feeling like I am out of ideas and no longer have the energy to execute them, though this never turns out to be true. But it's weird to feel like you are facing the end all of the time. Anyhow, don't know if this resonates, but I do often feel burned out for one reason or another.
Best of luck!

MT
This TOTALLY resonates. I too am pretty good at what I do if only I would a) have the opportunity to do it, and b) felt I had the mental stamina to do it.
I often feel that I am such a wasted opportunity and that alone can get me down, feeling demotivated and discarded. Sometimes I feel like I have soooo much to offer and other times I feel like I'm completely and finally exhausted.
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  #16  
Old Jan 06, 2015, 07:58 AM
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memson memson is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Christina View Post
I agree with everyone, at times its just exhausting and hard to see it getting any better, but Bipolar does cycle, it always does, it will eventually spit you out the other side.

I was diagnosed late also.

I will say that some lifestyle changes really made a huge difference.. more so I feel than the psych meds I use to take.

I cut carbs out of my life, Maybe a carb once or twice a month at most. Carbs bogs me down mentally and physically.

I make sure I get outside daily, unless its a monsoon. I take Vitamin D year round.

I shower every single day no matter what.. Yeah that's a tough one some days, but its my personal law !

I wrote down about 100 positive things on slips of paper and when I am feeling lousy I pull one out and that is my motto or chant for the day, Sounds silly maybe? But hey! whatever works I say. I did have to goggle to get the first useful amount of positive things Once I was feeling better I was able to make up my own.

I hope your able to find a way to feel better soon
Thanks Christina, there's some nice tips in here! I have to say that right now I'm feeling pretty good (I'm charting an 8/10 on my mood journal for the past few weeks!) but I still have that underlying sense that the battery is empty. I can remain stable if nothing changes, medically or environmentally. Sometimes even the most innocuous external input will yield an out of proportion response; pure CBT going on here but I can't seem to stop it from happening.
Meditation is my saviour; if in doubt, meditate!!
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  #17  
Old Jan 06, 2015, 01:08 PM
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Homeira Homeira is offline
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As the winter progresses, I feel more and more burned out. Exhausted, lethargic, can barely get up in the morning, the smallest thing exhaust me, and I must really prioritize what I am going to spend my little bit of energy on. As a parent, I sometimes feel completely overwhelmed.
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  #18  
Old Jan 06, 2015, 10:50 PM
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Manic Trance Manic Trance is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by memson View Post
Thanks Christina, there's some nice tips in here! I have to say that right now I'm feeling pretty good (I'm charting an 8/10 on my mood journal for the past few weeks!) but I still have that underlying sense that the battery is empty. I can remain stable if nothing changes, medically or environmentally. Sometimes even the most innocuous external input will yield an out of proportion response; pure CBT going on here but I can't seem to stop it from happening.
Meditation is my saviour; if in doubt, meditate!!
What do you do? Somehow I learned to do this thing no matter what, even if it's bad. That saves me. But that is also kind of weird.
Anyhow.
Let me know if you want, feel free to message me, etc...

S
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  #19  
Old Jan 06, 2015, 11:13 PM
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Love&Toil Love&Toil is offline
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I went through an epic battle with MI and a difficult home life as a teenager. I moved out at 17, suicidal, etc. For many years after I felt like I just didn't have the fight in me for more, I had battled enough. Now occasionally I feel like I have some fight but NOT NEARLY as much as I did in my 20s. I've lost a lot of my energy being a parent to 3 small children and working FT.
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  #20  
Old Jan 07, 2015, 07:51 AM
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Wow! I look back and can't believe how I managed to raise my kids. At that time I had incredible support from my partner and I was blissfully ignorant of my condition. I just put my mood swings down to "normal" life!!
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  #21  
Old Jan 07, 2015, 08:12 AM
avlady avlady is offline
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i also feel depressed every day, meds dont seem to help but i take them anyway. I always feel disabled because im tired. I was in several vehicle accidents which is what i blame it all on. i am so hurt emotionally too.
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  #22  
Old Jan 07, 2015, 09:55 AM
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Homeira Homeira is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by memson View Post
This TOTALLY resonates. I too am pretty good at what I do if only I would a) have the opportunity to do it, and b) felt I had the mental stamina to do it.
I often feel that I am such a wasted opportunity and that alone can get me down, feeling demotivated and discarded. Sometimes I feel like I have soooo much to offer and other times I feel like I'm completely and finally exhausted.
I recognize myself completely in what you write.However, I feel a little less like a wasted opportunity now, as I have grown to accept that I have an illness. I just try to be there for others, do some volunteer-work, take care of myself and my son. It is not my fault that I have an illness, and who knows, the uniqe experience I am getting as a bipolar-sufferer can be used to help others in some way. Both my mental stamina and my physical stamina has been low for years though, and it is really like having a physical handicap I think.
Thanks for this!
memson, wing
  #23  
Old Jan 07, 2015, 06:29 PM
newlifeyeah newlifeyeah is offline
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don't worry! I literally don't do anything at all. i guess that sums up being "Burned out"
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  #24  
Old Jan 08, 2015, 05:08 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Homeira View Post
I recognize myself completely in what you write.However, I feel a little less like a wasted opportunity now, as I have grown to accept that I have an illness. I just try to be there for others, do some volunteer-work, take care of myself and my son. It is not my fault that I have an illness, and who knows, the uniqe experience I am getting as a bipolar-sufferer can be used to help others in some way. Both my mental stamina and my physical stamina has been low for years though, and it is really like having a physical handicap I think.
I'm learning to accept my illness and doing so is definitely helping me move forward. In particular, it's enabled me to make lifestyle changes that favour self-care and accommodation of my swings.

I'm also a public speaker where I advocate on behalf of LGBT and Mental Illness ("End the Stigma", that kind of thing). I find this very helpful and often cathartic but you're right, some voluntary or social justice work also helps with self-esteem and value.

Like you though, I also feel like this can be a physical handicap at times, especially when I can't get motivated.
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  #25  
Old Jan 08, 2015, 05:21 PM
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Homeira Homeira is offline
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Getting motivated is really hard for me also. But I find that the more I get into doing things that really mean a lot to me, in terms of volunteering, being an involved parent at my sons school, and doing social justice work, it gets my motivation up in other arenas as well.
Thanks for this!
memson
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