[athena.csu.1987]

I have what my doctor called delusion of reference. Everything I saw was a sign from god and I started to think I was a prophet or angel. It occurred again but the second time I thought I died and missed the train to heaven and thought someone very close to me was a demon.

[Moogieotter]

That pretty much describes full blown mania for me! More later. Typing on phone.

[Moogieotter]

Pretty excited to respond in detail. At dinner now.

Eerily similar to my last episode fall of 2012.

[jacky8807]

Yes but my last episode of mania w/delusions was NOT fun. My delusions and hallucinations were all negative. I thought the tv the newspaper were giving me signs as well but thy were persecutory. I thought the fbi was bugging my house. i thought i was going to jail that i had aids and was dying. I though a friend of mine that had died was really alive and had been in hiding and now i had to go in hiding. I saw hallucinations of the initials of a coworker on EVERYTHING. .rising up from cars ect and i was convinced she was behind my demise. The people on tv directly talking to me was the scariest as thy were all out to get me. Even jeopardy! The list goes on and on. No sleep no food
Yikes! The BEST the BEST momrnts of my life was when i got treatment and started getting better and realized none of it was real

[avlady]

same here, i thought people were out to get me and tv and radio expressing my feelings and people around me were in reality dying, but i thought i was seeing them too. a few good hospital meals and rest and i was fine on clonazapam too. i am also on several other meds too.please stay on your meds you'll never regret it-take it from someone who knows and understands.

[Gray Rider]

Yes I have and it didn't end pretty, I was locked up for 15 days in a hospital.

[LDB1]

Originally Posted by Gray Rider

Yes I have and it didn't end pretty, I was locked up for 15 days in a hospital.

This is precisely what happened to me.

Not an experience I'd ever care to repeat. (Neither the delusions nor the hospital)

[Moogieotter]

I really need to sit down one day and type up the whole story for the forum I think it will be a good exercise for me. In the summer of 2012 I got off of all medications all drugs all alcohol completely clean and sober. I was feeling pretty good so I went to a special meditation class. This triggered something in my brain and really put me into hypomania.

A few weeks later I had to fly to Dallas Texas for a job interview. This really messed up my sleep cycle bad because the flight was at 6 AM and it's a 2 Hour Dr. to the airport and so that put me up at 3 AM. By the end of the five hour interview I was borderline hallucinating and convinced that I had psychic powers.

Fast forward a few more hours, and I was taken to the mental facility by the Dallas police against my will. I thought they were Christian angels and they were taking me to heaven. I actually asked the intake orderly at the public mental facility if he was God he smiled and said yes as a joke and all the other patients around started laughing. I thought they were all in heaven with me.

Long story short my wife flew from Atlanta to Dallas and got me out about 24 hours later but I was not stable yet and my episode continued and the second time the police took me back to the same facility I thought they were demons and they were taking me to hell this time for screwimg up my time in heaven. I actually thought my wife was a demon at one point.

It was all very biblical and very classic mania symptoms. After freaking out more than five times in 72 hours I counted the bruises from all the injections of Ativan they gave me to get stable eventually the risperidone calmed me down enough to get me back to reality.

I want to write down all the details one day cause I remember so much of it. This is just a tidbit of the story. Thanks Athena for sharing some of your experience and sparking these memories for me. I'm glad to hear many of you have had similar thoughts and experiences that helps to reaffirm our diagnosis and really draws us closer together. Thanks for letting me share.

moogs

[Manic Trance]

Hello.

When I am manic or hypo-manic I experience paranoia and what I believe are delusions, but they are not so extreme and pronounced, which in a way is good, but in another way, what I experience is really insidious as it can blend in really easily so it is harder to call out.

Something that is really common is that I will begin to think that everyone is against me, I will suspect people of conspiring against me, like co workers, etc... And I will ascribe meaning to talking and laughter in a way that is truly fantastical, yet at the same time, it just seems a little paranoid, it's not like thinking your jesus. Also, in hypo manic states I begin to believe that I have these subtle kinds of super natural powers, so, not like, I can fly or something, but like I can control people, I can exercise some kind of sway over them, like I have a magical ability to influence people's thinking by getting on their wave length, which in a sense is kind of true, but it's not magical, and in these manic states I believe I am magic. But again, it can kind of blend in. BTW, I mainly apply these 'skills' of mine to affect good things, like getting people to get along in a discussion or something, but it's the thinking I'm magic part that is the delusion I think.

I have often wondered if this is even a form of delusion, or if it's just paranoia or being really egotistical. I've always thought that delusional thinking had to be like thinking you are dead, or that the CIA is coming for you, etc... But after researching a bit, it turns out these kinds of things are considered to be a form of delusional thinking, so I thought I'd write in about it cuz it differs a bit from the other things being discussed here, which do sound horrible. So I wish you the best!


MT

[Victoria'smom]

I'm currently questioning whether I have to be in episode to have issues with reality. Most recent to past delusion:
My husband is planning on cheating on me. I'm trying to decode his messages on the phone. (current)
dissecting my arm would be fun. (current)
My husband was secretly divorcing me with my parents help
my husband and his family was trying to kill me....

[jacky8807]

Originally Posted by Manic Trance

Hello.

When I am manic or hypo-manic I experience paranoia and what I believe are delusions, but they are not so extreme and pronounced, which in a way is good, but in another way, what I experience is really insidious as it can blend in really easily so it is harder to call out.

Something that is really common is that I will begin to think that everyone is against me, I will suspect people of conspiring against me, like co workers, etc... And I will ascribe meaning to talking and laughter in a way that is truly fantastical, yet at the same time, it just seems a little paranoid, it's not like thinking your jesus. Also, in hypo manic states I begin to believe that I have these subtle kinds of super natural powers, so, not like, I can fly or something, but like I can control people, I can exercise some kind of sway over them, like I have a magical ability to influence people's thinking by getting on their wave length, which in a sense is kind of true, but it's not magical, and in these manic states I believe I am magic. But again, it can kind of blend in. BTW, I mainly apply these 'skills' of mine to affect good things, like getting people to get along in a discussion or something, but it's the thinking I'm magic part that is the delusion I think.

I have often wondered if this is even a form of delusion, or if it's just paranoia or being really egotistical. I've always thought that delusional thinking had to be like thinking you are dead, or that the CIA is coming for you, etc... But after researching a bit, it turns out these kinds of things are considered to be a form of delusional thinking, so I thought I'd write in about it cuz it differs a bit from the other things being discussed here, which do sound horrible. So I wish you the best!


MT

I get this too. I believe im psychic can read ppls auras heal their bad energy.heal thier sickness through my own energy transference. If im in this lovely hypomania i may be speeding ect but i think all the cops know me and love me and are in with me and aren't we one big happy family! If im in a bad /paranoid frame of mind then its like all the cops are around communicating badly about me
I never realized this was even abnormal until i paid attention to my bipolar an was like hey! The cops dont even know u are around and no u are not the most intelligent most talented energy healing genius of all time! Haha
However even now during the episodes i have NO insight until after

[athena.csu.1987]

The delusions are never fun my heart felt like it was racing and I did some crazy things like writing a question and answer to what would be deemed sinful to the movie " forgeting sarah Marshall" I thought the internet was deceiving me. And I felt like I had to hide my crazy thoughts thank god I only shared my crazy thought with close friends but I lost one after this ordeal. I was life guarding while I had some racing thoughts. Thank goodness I made it through that day.my aunt told me that I hadn't been sleeping or eating. She told me if it continued to go to the hospital. I went in and they gave me sleeping pills, then I came back and they said, " I don't think your getting the help you need." So I got admitted. At the beginning of my treatment my grandmother told me about wizard of oz symbolism. I remember laying on my bed feet in the air chanting the courage , the heart and the brain. I told the dr what was wrong with me and I was talking about stuff from my phisology class, " rest digest " " fight or flight". I think I was functioning delusional for almost a week. Scary thought now. I keep thinking about trying to live a life with out meds. But I know deep down I should never try to get off meds again.

[Manic Trance]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

I get this too. I believe im psychic can read ppls auras heal their bad energy.heal thier sickness through my own energy transference. If im in this lovely hypomania i may be speeding ect but i think all the cops know me and love me and are in with me and aren't we one big happy family! If im in a bad /paranoid frame of mind then its like all the cops are around communicating badly about me
I never realized this was even abnormal until i paid attention to my bipolar an was like hey! The cops dont even know u are around and no u are not the most intelligent most talented energy healing genius of all time! Haha
However even now during the episodes i have NO insight until after

Perhaps this whole vibe is related to being uninhibited and lacking bounderies while Hypo. You know? Like your willing to look people in the eye, and I feel like I can be SOOOO open while hypo and people respond, and that is where I think the magic comes from. Or something like that. I don't know exactly, but I am speculating that perhaps the sense of magic is connected to poor boundaries somehow...
Just thinking.

MT

[Love&Toil]

I used to think people on the bus were laughing at me and secretly talking about me.

Once I was sure God wanted me to become a nun and I asked my dad late at night to drive me to the church to talk to the priest. He didn't do it.

My father has twice believed in his life that he was being followed. Jury is still out as to whether or not it was/is true.

[cashart10]

I have had delusions, mostly Biblical/religious based. Some of them have been wonderful, like the time I was honestly (I thought) experiencing Heaven on earth; I don't know if a high can be higher than this high I experienced. Others (most others) have been terrifying, like when I believe that demons are trying to get me to commit suicide. I also have other types of delusions though, like fear that if I do such and such, than a particular person will find out and I will be ruined or sometimes even if this occurs then I will die. I often feel like a certain person is either out to get me or obsessed with me. I have believed that someone can read my mind and that I telepathically know what is going on with certain people (what's crazy about that last one is, when I am manic, I am usually right about people. I hope these make sense.

[jacky8807]

I have always kinda believed that when manic we are in a higher energy field and some of what we are feeling is real!

Once while manic I took a very long walk in Chicago (lots of energy). Part of it included Michigan Avenue past the John Hancock Bldg, where Oprah at least used to have a condo. I thought for sure, after walking past that building, that Oprah had hired someone to follow me on my walk. I can remember repeatedly turning around to see who was following me. That's the only time I was ever delusional.

[wildflowerchild25]

Once I believed my husband was trying to control me through my medication. That progressed into thinking everyone could read my thoughts and locking myself in the bathroom at my PHP because I thought the people would hurt me.

Needless to say I was hospitalized. I was scared to leave my room there unless it was with a nurse I already knew.

[LacunaCoiler]

I believe that the shadow people were after me. They were in my house, at my place of work, they would follow me in my car, they were basically everywhere (at my worst I could even see them!). But only at night (because obviously that's when shadows happen), during the day they got other people to watch and follow me like my gf, my parents, my boss, coworkers, cops, strangers in stores. They were out to get some vital and important piece of knowledge in my mind that could save mankind from extinction.

While this is happening it's the scariest thing I've ever been through, but afterwards and when I'm stable again it's rather funny that it can be so out there.

[Turtlesoup]

First off thanks to everyone sharing their stories-it is helping me to see I'm not the only one that has had this type of thing. I've battled insomnia for years & it combined with mania has caused some pretty weird things. I went through a period where I saw halos & lights shimmering around peoples heads, I thought I was a witch with real powers & was paranoid another witch was trying to harm me, I believed I could "heal" people through my touch & I've felt like people on the train or bus are talking about me/plotting something & that I have to pay close attention to my surroundings & be on alert to circumvent a disaster. Once after taking a substance that I shouldn't have I became convinced I was insane & being held in a tiny dark room & that I would be trapped there for all eternity.

[StillLeftBehind]

The depression made me see people and do things that either weren't there or I was not aware I was doing weird stuff. Like waving my hands and talking to myself and not remembering at all. The manic side was never sleeping AT ALL and simply being mad/jerk to everyone I came across. My job was on the line all the time until I got to a Pdoc. I am much better now, not saying it's smooth sailing but much better.

[prepsychmel]

Several years ago, during a phase, I thought I was a princess in England.

[Wander]

I have dealt with a lot of paranoia and mild delusions such as thinking I have supernatural powers and such. These experiences were often distressing but I was able to generally keep my cool around others and appear normal, outside a few occasions. The worst delusion I have had was a time while I was in hospital for treatment (thankfully) and I was convinced my life purpose was to raise awareness, defeat stigma and bring justice to people who had been sexually abused like I was. Not a bad aim but the way I felt 'called' to make this happen was to write a dozen page manifesto, climb the highest building in the city to draw police and media attention, send my manifesto to every site I could online then jump to prove my point of how much destruction sexual abuse causes. I really believed it was the best thing I could do with my life and that I was made to do it. I even wrote part of the manifesto until the extra meds kicked in and brought me to my senses. I was damn angry about the abuse but sure took it to the nth degree.

[Ruminati]

I recognise that whole trip Athena OP). I was also the only human left on the earth and everyone else was clones.,,,, do you manifest things? Like think of a person, object or tv star...and they appear.

Are you religious?

[Moogieotter]

Oh ya @ manifest! It's freaky!