Slip sliding away... help?!?!?

I have so much crap all rolling at me at once. Social Security, in their infinite wisdom, decided that my disabilty payments because of the stroke, should have stopped long before they did... I owe so much money its making me ill. They also want what my family has been paid for having my children back, which child support recovery will then take out of my hide. (My family won't adopt until the kids are old enough to not need afterschool care... the youngest is 6, not understanding that it makes the burden I carry that much harder that I have to lean on my mom and grandparents just to make it)I can barely make ends meet as is. My mind keeps going in scary directions... I have no one here in the real world to talk to... I scare them enough as it is when I'm just quiet. I still have yet to find out the outcome of my drunk driving case, too... my insurance thru work does not cover treatment, so there's another doozy of an expense. I got that five weeks before I let my doctor make the diagnosis. My self-medication FINALLY caught up with me, I suppose. My sparring partner when I get mean and nasty begged me to come over last night. He's a good friend, so I went over. I cried on his shoulder, and he held me til the meds kicked in and I finally fell asleep. He wants me to go over again tonight... I think he has an idea of the dark places that my mind has been going to... he's worried about me. My mom thinks that I should move back where the bulk of my family is... to rent a few rooms from my creepier than creepy uncle and work for him at my grandparents' shop. Rent would be cheaper and all of that, I know, but he's just a flat out pervert. He makes my skin crawl.He also would pay a lot better than my current job, but I just am very ill at ease in his presence... always have been. I suppose I ought to be semi-adult and get off my butt and get ready for work, even though I really just want to crawl back into bed. I can't afford to miss any work... I should be taking all the overtime I can get, but it's just hard to hit what I'm scheduled. This post was hard... I've never "dumped" everything out on the table to anybody before. Justin just called... he's worried about me. Sorry this post is so damn long. Just didn't know what else to do, where else to go. <font color="blue"> </font> <font color="blue"> </font>

((((((((((((((((((((((((goofygirl)))))))))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry for all you are going through. I am so glad you have Justin.

This is getting worse. I've been on the Seroquel for a month and a half. I've been on antidepresants of some form or another for a month (I'm on my third since 02/27). The temper is flaring out of the blue... I've been feeling anxious like I wanted to just run and hide at various times throughout the day. What am I supposed to do? I hate this... Ihate feeling this way... Ihate the fact that its getting worse. I hate the fact that I have no one to talk to... noone has called me back. No one will talk to me... why reach out? Why do anything?

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goofygirl said:
This is getting worse. I've been on the Seroquel for a month and a half. I've been on antidepresants of some form or another for a month (I'm on my third since 02/27). The temper is flaring out of the blue... I've been feeling anxious like I wanted to just run and hide at various times throughout the day. What am I supposed to do? I hate this... Ihate feeling this way... Ihate the fact that its getting worse. I hate the fact that I have no one to talk to... noone has called me back. No one will talk to me... why reach out? Why do anything?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> gah that's so much goofy! how could you not be overwhelmed?!

of course you hate feeling this way. sounds like you were self medicating to try to cope up until you saw the doc.........and now you're in that limbo of hurry up and wait while the doc and you try to find a workable balance for you and your situation. sometimes it is a bit of worse before better when starting out on bipolar meds....that's what our bp friends have told us about how it is for them.

when disease is flared up it can feel so isolating as most folks don't want to hear the tired refrains from family and friends who don't really get it....even though they might have best of intentions often their lack of information or understanding can make things worse...we know it can be like that for us when depression is ruling our lives.

which is why lots of folks end up here online.....seeking anything that might help make the horribleness better.

can very much relate to wanting to run and hide throughout the day from anxiety. we wish there was more we could say to help make things easier, smoother and softer for you.

why reach out? why do anything? erm, because that's survival and it is hardwired into us. the feelings of hopelessness and despair are often tag along companions w/ bp and depression. reaching out to those who understand, those who LIVE W/ THE DISEASES, those who have walked the walk and talked the talk helps..........it helps to know others have been almost exactly where you're at and they've managed to get through.........how?

by reaching out. by doing something. even if posting to say how much they hate everything.

we hate that you're feeling so rotten right now and we hate that life has put so much on your plate........may some relief start rolling into your life toot sweet.

kindly,
__zh

Does anyone have any suggestions for me, on bipolar disorder. I'm thinking my child may be showing some signs. I've been on some websites lately...www.connectwithkids.com had some info that was pretty good on the parenting board, but I'm still trying to find some more.HELP

hang in there goofygirl. Is there a support group near you? if you can find one maybe they can help. But there is lots of us here.Stay away from the pervert. You don't need that. You have enough on your plate without that stress added.