A friend please?

Hi, I am the mother of five children, all of whom are on the autism spectrum. My youngest two have more significant needs. One of them is four years old and is just learning how to use words to communicate. The other is turning three this month and is non-verbal. Both are sensory seekers. My home is loud and messy-very intense. My disabled husband stays home taking care of then and I work. Stress seems to trigger my depression so now I am depressed. Medications haven't helped so far. Counseling may help but I can't sacrifice the time or money. So I am looking for someone to listen who understands and won't judge. I know that I have distorted thinking but I need feelings validated anyway. If someone out there has a little time for a new friend, please write.

It sounds like you are really having a tough time right now. Stress triggers my depression, too.

It must really be hard dealing with five children, especially if they have special needs. I only have one grown daughter but I could not have handled five. Kudos to you.

I'm med resistant and once I find something that works it doesn't always work for long. So hang in there and maybe they will find the magic combo.

I haven't heard about being med resistant but probably am too. Nothing has worked for long and I've tried so many different meds. What do you do if medication doesn't help?

I only have one. He's ASD also. Are you getting help through the state? I urge you to take that hour a week in therapy just for you, even if it's during your lunch. You'll burn out if you don't. Welcome to the board.

I totally agree,, i do not when or how but you need me time,,best thing you can do for your family

Sending hugs your way. You seem to have a lot on your plate and I genuinely think you're a hero of sorts for managing it the way you do. Welcome to PC. This is a wonderful community full of people willing to listen without judgement.

RB

Hi OneSmallStep-

I'm so proud of you! I can't imagine raising one autistic child, but 5? You poor thing. I'm a single parent raising a teenage son who has a "mood disorder" and ADHD. Is there outside help to ease the responsibilities of caring?

You're stress must be incredible for all that is happening. How is your husband handling it? I hope he's not adding to it.

I'm guessing financials is also a stressor since you added the bit about income.

What meds are you taking for depression? And what have you tried. I believe that there is 2 kinds of depression. One is in the brain chemical and the other is caused by life.

Feel free to post or message me if you want to talk.

I am so sorry you are struggling. I have 3 children, ranging from 1-7. One of them, my 4 year old son has moderate autism. My house also is very loud and very messy. I also can't afford therapy. I used to have it though and if you can find a way, it is wonderful. I'm so sorry you're struggling. If you need to talk please PM me anytime. You're doing great mama and you have your plate full.

You've come to the right place. We're always ready to listen and I'm always open for a new friend. I don't have that many in real life because I push them away.
Welcome aboard.

I just wanted to say WELCOME. Pull up a chair and post as much as you need to. I really feel for you in such a stressful situation. As others have said self care is of great importance or the whole castle will crumble. We are here for you.

I think all momma's that have rugrats on the extreme side of the spectrum roll their eyes and groan when others say "take time for you" especially when you're the only one caring for them and you're in high demand/ being demanded. I can totally relate, message me if you ever need to vent. Love and Light

ma'am lady

my mother had me and my little brother (just say 911 knew this address)
autistic kids are great ......buddy's younger brother was

they are kids so like all kids it can be directed with the right use of colors lights sounds actions thoughts ( this is the hard part u have to find something u and them like ) they will sit and watch and watch u ........u have fun with them they smile might run get a toy and throw it at u (could be play it with me or tag your it)

sleeping beauity the movie if u do not have it get it (u will thank me for this) show it it the kiddies they are like the prince for a short time ........now when u get home u go in room and take 45 min nap and one of them comes kiss u up like the movie they sawl

Disney movies are your greatest tool

Thank you for your response. Yes, taking time for myself is impossible. I can't even lock the door to the bathroom without someone pounding on the outside. That is the reason I get up early in the morning but then I have lesson planning to do. My youngest has been getting up pretty early lately and taking away this time. Oh well, it won't last forever. We are being given a weighted blanket soon. Maybe he will sleep better.

I want to thank everyone who responded to my post. I am just learning how this site works and not sure how to respond to individuals yet. Anyway, the support is greatly appreciated and needed.

You actually have a lock on your bathroom door? Lucky!! My kiddo is like another appendage no matter if its bathroom or bedtime. Being spread thin is a constant, music sets me free. I can enjoy it while doing momma bear things of sorts. I hope the weighted blanket helps, I'm still trying to find the right vest for mine

We are being given a vest too. Have you tried one before? Do some work and some not depending on weight, fit, and texture? My youngest has money to spend before turning three so he is getting all sorts of things but our daughter needs them also. I was going to try to sew (as if I had time). Darn this depression-I was happily sewing before Christmas but now just can't bring myself to begin. The list of things that I must do piles up and I can't tackle any of it. I am drowning in the mess that I created.

"When you've met/had a child with autism, you've met/had a child with autism". No 2 kiddos are alike that have it. You know your babe the best, sometimes vests don't work or the weight needs adjusting. Sometimes vests work or make it worse. Are you getting a weighted vest or compression vest? Its all how your babe soothes themselves. Sometimes compression caps or lap weights are better. Please do message me if you have questions, I'm terrible at responding to threads! You can sew? That'll definitely be a usefool thing to save you money!

Also, backpacks can help depending on what feels right for your babe. Compression/deep pressure vests are like a 'hug' sensation, regular vests as you know are just weight. Sewing will save you lots..i would experiment if you're not sure what your kid likes. Cut a long sleeve off a shirt, sew one end shut, fill the inside with sand or non toxic material then sew it closed on that end. See what your babe does with it, around the neck, lap, shoulders, etc. Just watch (: that'll tell ya a lot. Hope I helped and hope youre feeling not so blue today +hugs*

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. You will find many friends on here. Everyone is very caring and supportive.

Guess I can reveal it here, so here goes. Another support group @ supportgroups.com may have some group there of help. However don't think I saw a autism group there. Facebook also has different groups though some are closed groups. You can't go wrong here either. Welcome!