[Mr. Radio]

Hi,

Been a long time since I've been on. A few psychotic breaks later and the battle of taking and not taking medication.

I'm back on medication and consider it a saving grace to an otherwise battle fought world inside the mind of a person with serve bipolar disorder.

I've been smoking cigars to kill time, video games aren't much fun, and I'm reading a good book. I guess I need help to decide what to try for next. I've been keeping up with my broadcasting and have many self made recordings.

I'm debating whether or not to pick up weed as a means to continue to pass time. Just bought an E-cigaret, but not buzz. I'm just trying to get a buzz because it brings me peace.

That being said, the last time I was off medication I banished smoking weed in one of my delusions I was casting out the devil and had the reality that I killed his son and now I think if I smoke that I'm going to resurrect him. My battle is between "Heaven And Hell," a podcast series.

I really want to smoke, but I know it's not healthy. I've been clean for three months and now I'm trying to get a part time job somewhere. The talking has gotten back to normal, but I'm past thinking that will ever comeback or maybe it will just need to be stable for a longer period of time. I feel like I've lost my friends and life is just difficult at the moment.

Any suggestions?

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi Mr Radio

I'm sorry to hear that you were unwell.

I am glad that you are back on the meds - that's a really good thing to help stabilize you.

Yeah - stay away from the weed - glad you've been off it. Probably not good for you, certainly not now - you've been clean for 3 months. Keep going.

If you're doing activities that keep you distracted for now, and aren't damaging to your health, that's okay. I get how the ecigarettes don't give you that hit. Just watch / cut back on the amount of cigars you smoke.

Take care.

[Victoria'smom]

Can you take up working out?

[Justugh]

i am with them .....weed for u is a bad thing u look at it as a escape not a med u would end up abusing it again .......and the fact that it makes u think u are going to raise the anti christ pretty clear sign saying it does not work well for u (war of heaven and hell we are just pawns in the game .....as can do is win the battles u can make a person smile .....give a kid a toy ....randomly pay for the food for the person behide u even tho u do not know them )

take the meds the doctor gives u ........if u want the medical stuff from weed to smoke in epen it called CBD oil no buzz or high effect just that calming effect

as for what to do i pick a new skill and learn it ......my skills are set for me so i am not going to list because i do not want to get band so some general ones always good
1 cooking skills learn to make several dishes u like your own touch to give it a twist
2 fixing stuff break something take it apart and fix it if u can start small fix what is broken now
3 make stuff this can be anything from painting to woodworking to jams/jelly/pickles to growing peppers if u like spice to brewing own beer to carvings
4 learn something ......do not understand chaos theory or m theory/string learn it ........fun one is if u look at all religions they are basically same god all paths lead home kind of thing

[~Christina]

Hiya !

Glad to see you back , but..... I wish you were just doing great and just wanted to swing by for a hello...

Im sorry you have been fighting the fight. It really never ends, just varies in strength and duration. Bipolar is a shifty pita !

Glad you still doing your regular Gig, maybe finding a parttime job will be a the "something new" that will probably not give you a buzz of course but will stir up your normal daily life that it will be enough to perk you up a bit.

Welcome back

[Mr. Radio]

Life has been going better. The ECigaret is working well. Thanks for the opinions. Sometimes it's best to face the illness head on and figure out what thoughts you want to be real in your mind and forget the delusions. Tempting they may be, but truth shines brighter than fogged thoughts.

[prepsychmel]

As someone else mentioned, a part time job would possibly be a good thing. Get out of your head for a while and focus on something else.

As for the weed, I vote no on that one. It just complicates things.