[dillpickle1983]

Within the last 3 days I have become extremely manic. I overdrew my bank account a lot, my mind won't stop racing. I have fleeting thoughts of suicide, but I don't think I'd actually do it, but I did have a plan the other day. I actually have a PDOC appointment @315 tomorrow that was already planned. Which is ironic. I'm sleeping surprisingly. But I have all these racing thoughts that won't stop. I have considered calling our crisis line and asking them for help but I don't want to go in the hospital. I mean I just don't want to do it. I usually end up in the back room when I go and I am not good when I am alone.

I don't know what to do. Most meds poop out on me after a few months, and I just went through a very manic cycle in November which put me out of work for a month. The winter is horrible for me. I hate my life. I feel I have no purpose on this earth. I also feel like a burden, which sucks.

[~Christina]

I'm sorry your having a rough go. I am glad you have an appointment, Hopefully your Pdoc will be able to prescribe something to just slow you way down and you can avoid an IP stay.

All the negative thoughts are Bipolar, it lies. Hard to remember than when your in such a horrible place, Try to remember that, Write it down on paper maybe that will help remind you. ( I do this)

Stay safe and make sure your honest to your Pdoc. Hope your feeling better very soon

Originally Posted by dillpickle1983

Within the last 3 days I have become extremely manic. I overdrew my bank account a lot, my mind won't stop racing. I have fleeting thoughts of suicide, but I don't think I'd actually do it, but I did have a plan the other day. I actually have a PDOC appointment @315 tomorrow that was already planned. Which is ironic. I'm sleeping surprisingly. But I have all these racing thoughts that won't stop. I have considered calling our crisis line and asking them for help but I don't want to go in the hospital. I mean I just don't want to do it. I usually end up in the back room when I go and I am not good when I am alone.

I don't know what to do. Most meds poop out on me after a few months, and I just went through a very manic cycle in November which put me out of work for a month. The winter is horrible for me. I hate my life. I feel I have no purpose on this earth. I also feel like a burden, which sucks.

Man, do I relate. I too hate winter. Just causes me all kinds of problems...

Well you're not a burden. It's good you have a pdoc appt tomorrow. I hope you find some answers and relief. Hang in there.

[wheredidthepartygo]

"All the negative thoughts are Bipolar, it lies. Hard to remember than when your in such a horrible place, Try to remember that"

thank u for that Christina, i have to write it down big somewhere so i can always remember because i forget and it's so painful

dillpickle though, i feel you. this has been a horrible winter so far. no purpose, no meaning, nothing but guilt and more guilt and pain.

i hope it gets easier for you though bud

[~Christina]

How did your appointment go ?

[wheredidthepartygo]

yeah man i hope it went well

[gaway1989]

I was like that... when my doc realize that I was in a mixed state (severe mania + major depression).

Talk with your doc