[JumpingJacks]

I have no real friends here, all of them are in another state. I'm so lonely and when I drink I meet people and am social. I'm just scared that I'm messing it all up just because I'm alone. I don't know what else to do. I'm so lonely, it hurts my heart at night. I can feel it. I'm so scared too all the time because of the times I've been raped. The only thing that stops it is alcohol. And then I'm cray-cray- because my meds don't work. I'm so sorry about all the things that have happened. Then I drink too much and sleep with people I would normally hate. I wish I was at least a little normal.

I'm so sorry to read of your sadness, JumpingJacks. Loneliness can be difficult in the daylight. At night it can be deadly. I don't know why it is your friends are all in another state. Perhaps you moved to go to school or for a job? I sincerely hope you can find some ways to remedy your loneliness that do not involve drinking & sleeping with people you would otherwise hate. In the long run, I fear, these practices will only add to your despair. My best wishes to you.

[Victoria'smom]

Are they close enough for a week-end trip?

I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope that you are able to meet people close by and find a way to break some of the destructive habits. Best of luck.

[Wander]

So sorry to hear of the torment you have been through, and are still going through. I really hope you can find a way to make new friends where you live but for now we are here for you as much as we can be online. Are you seeing a therapist? I have been through multiple trauma's and found only years of therapy with a trauma expert brought real change and relief from the awful symptoms of PTSD.

Are you still in contact with your friends in another state? Could you talk to them on the phone more often, or at least when you are feeling particularly bad? It is bad enough dealing with mental illness but having to deal with it all alone is incredibly tough.