[Bklynjunebug]

Hi, I'm new here. I'm a 37 year old female with bipolar 1 and I'm hoping to have a baby sans manic episode. Mostly I deal with depression but I've been hospitalized twice in the last ten years for severe mania (psychotic episodes) and I'm terrified of it happening again. I'm hoping to find at least 1 woman who is in similar shoes as me and who has had a baby. I'm worried about taking meds and of going off them. I'm worried about all the hormonal changes and how that will effect my mood and I'm worried about the first few months of having the baby and getting a lot less sleep. If there's anyone here who has been through this please let me know how your experience was! Thank you so much!

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[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Bklynjunebug

Hi, I'm new here. I'm a 37 year old female with bipolar 1 and I'm hoping to have a baby sans manic episode. Mostly I deal with depression but I've been hospitalized twice in the last ten years for severe mania (psychotic episodes) and I'm terrified of it happening again. I'm hoping to find at least 1 woman who is in similar shoes as me and who has had a baby. I'm worried about taking meds and of going off them. I'm worried about all the hormonal changes and how that will effect my mood and I'm worried about the first few months of having the baby and getting a lot less sleep. If there's anyone here who has been through this please let me know how your experience was! Thank you so much!

I am 31 years old with Bipolar 1 and 3 children. With my first two children, I had rejected my diagnosis and was not taking medications. With my first pregnancy (my first daughter), I was often raging and just blamed it on hormones and then I had postpartum depression pretty severely. I can't remember having any psychosis but if I did, I would not have recognized it as such and it would have been mild. My second pregnancy (my son) was much easier and I was hypo-manic afterward. Then, when my son was two, I had a had a major manic episode and became psychotic, followed my a major breakdown. I couldn't deny I was bipolar anymore. Back on medication and still very unstable, my psychiatrist advised my husband and I to "be real" about my illness and having any more children. Just a few weeks after that conversation, I became pregnant again (2nd daughter--unplanned). I was taking Lamictal and Abilify but later, in my second trimester, had to go back on lithium. This pregnancy was a nightmare. My moods were all over the place. When she was born, I suffered from postpartum psychosis and ended up in the hospital when she was only seven weeks old. I had my tubes tied after this last pregnancy. I also had 2 miscarriages and, during one of those pregnancies (12 weeks), I was also psychotic (although I had become psychotic before the pregnancy, it just made things worse). I think children are an amazing blessing and I would have all of these struggles over again.

I know my story may be discouraging but I just want you to know your fears could be realized. That shouldn't stop you (unless it is your choice). If you are going to conceive, be under close supervision of a psychiatrist and maybe see a therapist regularly as well. Make a plan of what ifs and how you will handle those what ifs. Research your medications and know how they will effect your pregnancy and your baby. Be VERY careful coming off of your meds though because the hormones will already have a major effect on your body and your illness and the lack of meds (especially if you are stable on them) can cause greater harm than good. Discuss this in detail with your doctor. If you don't like what your doctor has to say about medications in pregnancy, find another one. I did. I know it is just one example, but I took several medications (including lithium) during my last pregnancy and my daughter has no repercussions. I wish you well!

[wildflowerchild25]

When I had my son I was in denial about my illness and therefore was not on any medication or in therapy. The pregnancy from what I remember didn't affect me that much but the lack of sleep after my son was born totally drove me crazy. I was irritable, anxious, depressed...but I was also under a LOT of stress as I was in my last semester of college doing my student teaching. And my son was colicky so he didn't sleep hardly ever. It was rough but I made it through. My husband wants another child but now that my illness has worsened I'm not sure I'll be able to do it again.

[Victoria'smom]

I was undiognosed. I had a hard pregnancy. Then after birth I hit a huge ppd, ppp. This was part of the reasons why I have one child.

[4ALittle]

We're all individuals. I have Bipolar 1 and 4 children. I see my doctor, take my medicine and try to recognize daily that there just isn't a best or worst mother in the world.
I look at the world and there are all manner of people with all manner of issues doing what they can to raise children. It's a terrifying endeavor and not to be taken lightly.
I did not find that pregnancy, nursing and sleepless nights were as challenging for me as my menstrual cycles have been. But then, that's me personally.
I would suggest meditating and praying. Talking to your doctor and your significant other and know that nobody on this planet is really qualified to raise another human being

I have 1 child. He is 19. When I had him I think that was the beginning of my bp, that it set in then. I couldn't sleep, so I was put on Elavil. I guess it was safe bc I was nursing. But my gyno just thought it was post partum depression. But now the docs think it was the beginning of bp.

It has been tough having bipolar disorder and being a single mom. I wasn't diagnosed until I was 36 and had went into a psychosis. Since then I've been on mood stabilizers and other meds. Things have calmed down. But I feel a lot of guilt that my son has had to deal with my bad manias. I did have my mom though and she was a tremendous help. But unfortunately she passed away 8 yrs ago. Been doing it mainly on my own since then.

But he loves my hypo manias, lol. We have great fun during those, talking about our dreams, where we want to travel to. And I think bp and PTSD makes me a little more intense than other non bipolar s. So we have really connected over movies, music that kind of thing.

If I knew what I know today the only thing I would change is being put on the correct meds. I couldn't imagine my life without my son.

But this has just been my experience. I hope I helped some.

[Bklynjunebug]

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences. It sounds like it was pretty rough. I can't say it's encouraging, but I know I definitely want to at least have 1 and I guess I will get through it whatever happens and it will be worth it. I'm still terrified though!

Originally Posted by cashart10

I am 31 years old with Bipolar 1 and 3 children. With my first two children, I had rejected my diagnosis and was not taking medications. With my first pregnancy (my first daughter), I was often raging and just blamed it on hormones and then I had postpartum depression pretty severely. I can't remember having any psychosis but if I did, I would not have recognized it as such and it would have been mild. My second pregnancy (my son) was much easier and I was hypo-manic afterward. Then, when my son was two, I had a had a major manic episode and became psychotic, followed my a major breakdown. I couldn't deny I was bipolar anymore. Back on medication and still very unstable, my psychiatrist advised my husband and I to "be real" about my illness and having any more children. Just a few weeks after that conversation, I became pregnant again (2nd daughter--unplanned). I was taking Lamictal and Abilify but later, in my second trimester, had to go back on lithium. This pregnancy was a nightmare. My moods were all over the place. When she was born, I suffered from postpartum psychosis and ended up in the hospital when she was only seven weeks old. I had my tubes tied after this last pregnancy. I also had 2 miscarriages and, during one of those pregnancies (12 weeks), I was also psychotic (although I had become psychotic before the pregnancy, it just made things worse). I think children are an amazing blessing and I would have all of these struggles over again.

I know my story may be discouraging but I just want you to know your fears could be realized. That shouldn't stop you (unless it is your choice). If you are going to conceive, be under close supervision of a psychiatrist and maybe see a therapist regularly as well. Make a plan of what ifs and how you will handle those what ifs. Research your medications and know how they will effect your pregnancy and your baby. Be VERY careful coming off of your meds though because the hormones will already have a major effect on your body and your illness and the lack of meds (especially if you are stable on them) can cause greater harm than good. Discuss this in detail with your doctor. If you don't like what your doctor has to say about medications in pregnancy, find another one. I did. I know it is just one example, but I took several medications (including lithium) during my last pregnancy and my daughter has no repercussions. I wish you well!

[Bklynjunebug]

Thanks so much for replying. Did you take medication while you were pregnant? If so, what did you take?

Originally Posted by 4ALittle

We're all individuals. I have Bipolar 1 and 4 children. I see my doctor, take my medicine and try to recognize daily that there just isn't a best or worst mother in the world.
I look at the world and there are all manner of people with all manner of issues doing what they can to raise children. It's a terrifying endeavor and not to be taken lightly.
I did not find that pregnancy, nursing and sleepless nights were as challenging for me as my menstrual cycles have been. But then, that's me personally.
I would suggest meditating and praying. Talking to your doctor and your significant other and know that nobody on this planet is really qualified to raise another human being

[Capriciousness]

Now I have not been hospitalized and am sometimes told I'm bipolar 1 and sometimes that I am bipolar 2 depending on the pdoc but here is my deal...

I am 32 years old and I have three children. My baby is 7weeks! I was not on meds for my first two pregnancies but stayed on Lamictal and klonopin as needed and I am still doing that while nursing.

Meds: I don't know what you're on or what works for you but Lamictal is great for pregnancy and breastfeeding. It is listed as compatible with breastfeeding in the Dr. Thomas Hale bfing bible that all the med professionals use. I consulted perinatalogists before my last preg and they said that I had no more reason to worry on lamictal than a woman who wasn't on it. So I never looked back. Given past experiences I knew I could not go off my meds.

Pregnancy wise the first trimester was tough for me and I had some real depression. My morning sickness was sooooo bad and that really helped to crash my mood. That plus the wacky hormones and the crazy fatigue. But it all went away around 12 weeks.

I think I got a little manicky at one point but I was also on pelvic rest (no sex or orgasm) which would prob make anybody a little ummm hypersexual but I think I may have gotten a little more worked up than I needed to. I got stressed towards the end of pregnancy waiting for labor to start and it was starting to crash my mood and I was talking to my pdoc about whether or not I should push for an induction. I wouldn't have asked the OBs or brought up the bipolar but I would have just said I was getting very stressed. As it happened I went into labor on my own.

Sleep and breastfeeding. My husband,pdoc, and I all decided that I needed to get real sleep no matter what. Having already been successful breastfeeding twice I knew what I was up against. I decided to put sleep first and if breastfeeding didn't work than that was just how it was meant to be.

For the first two weeks I got up once a night. My husband sleeps with the baby in another room and he would come and get me for a feed sometime in the middle of the night and he gives her bottles for all the others. Now I just sleep through the night. I have to pump like crazy when I wake up though even if I am going to feed her. Just tooooo full. And that is the important part. That you get yourself totally emptied (well you're never totally emptied but it will make sense) so you don't get clogs and mastitis. I had clogs with my first baby but never had a problem with the others because I had figured it all out.

Anyway, my husband has been a rock star. He has take. The nights on for me but really it is for all of us because we need eachother and he knows what I need to be able to carry on with all of the responsibilities I have in our family. I am sooo lucky to say that I have not been sleep deprived at all.

So if your husband can do it that is great. If you can afford a night nurse or if you have a great relationship with your mom or mother in law or grandmother etc then they could help.

So far my supply has been great. I try to nurse as much as possible during the day especially during the first weeks because that is when you body figures out how much milk to make. And I pump in the morning most days and I drink the mother's milk tea (not sure that does anything but yeah). And I'm almost at two months which is awesome since I thought it might not work at all. Also I don't pump for her milk because I didn't want to stress about it and was fine with her having formula at night but the morning pumping has been enough to give her some nights feeds.

I was kinda depressed in my first trimesters with my first two pregnancies. I was also stressed at the end. I've never had postpartum depression just normal wobbles. With my second I did go manic when he was three months and then crashed when he was eight months. I was always functional and taking care of my kids though. But yeah. I went on meds when he was 12 months.

Sorry this was probably way more than you wanted to hear but I just really want to help you. I hate to think of people not having babies because of bipolar. People pull it off but it is an uphill battle and we always have to deal with more than other people . And even a normal uncomplicated pregnancy has so much stress in it. But if you're willing to run through the fire go for it (I know that everyone is different and sometimes you may be willing but still can't do it so I'm not at all trying to say it is a matter of will. Believe me I know this illness is not about will).

I am glad I went for the third. A lot of my stress was and is with my other kids. If I didn't have other kids already I would totally go for another one after my experience with this last pregnancy but I do feel like I am done now. Three kids is crazy stressful!

[Bklynjunebug]

Hi, thank you so much for replying. I really appreciate the tips on breastfeeding. I think my husband will be really helpful with the nights, but our mothers live far away so we'll be on our own unfortunately. I was thinking I wouldn't be able to breastfeed at all but it sounds like it can be done. Right now I take geodon and lamictal. I'm not crazy about my doctor and I don't think he has much experience with pregnant patients so I think I'm going to try to find someone else. I'm going to give it a try and hope for the best. I don't want the fact that I'm bipolar to stop me from doing something this important to me.

Originally Posted by Capriciousness

Now I have not been hospitalized and am sometimes told I'm bipolar 1 and sometimes that I am bipolar 2 depending on the pdoc but here is my deal...

I am 32 years old and I have three children. My baby is 7weeks! I was not on meds for my first two pregnancies but stayed on Lamictal and klonopin as needed and I am still doing that while nursing.

Meds: I don't know what you're on or what works for you but Lamictal is great for pregnancy and breastfeeding. It is listed as compatible with breastfeeding in the Dr. Thomas Hale bfing bible that all the med professionals use. I consulted perinatalogists before my last preg and they said that I had no more reason to worry on lamictal than a woman who wasn't on it. So I never looked back. Given past experiences I knew I could not go off my meds.

Pregnancy wise the first trimester was tough for me and I had some real depression. My morning sickness was sooooo bad and that really helped to crash my mood. That plus the wacky hormones and the crazy fatigue. But it all went away around 12 weeks.

I think I got a little manicky at one point but I was also on pelvic rest (no sex or orgasm) which would prob make anybody a little ummm hypersexual but I think I may have gotten a little more worked up than I needed to. I got stressed towards the end of pregnancy waiting for labor to start and it was starting to crash my mood and I was talking to my pdoc about whether or not I should push for an induction. I wouldn't have asked the OBs or brought up the bipolar but I would have just said I was getting very stressed. As it happened I went into labor on my own.

Sleep and breastfeeding. My husband,pdoc, and I all decided that I needed to get real sleep no matter what. Having already been successful breastfeeding twice I knew what I was up against. I decided to put sleep first and if breastfeeding didn't work than that was just how it was meant to be.

For the first two weeks I got up once a night. My husband sleeps with the baby in another room and he would come and get me for a feed sometime in the middle of the night and he gives her bottles for all the others. Now I just sleep through the night. I have to pump like crazy when I wake up though even if I am going to feed her. Just tooooo full. And that is the important part. That you get yourself totally emptied (well you're never totally emptied but it will make sense) so you don't get clogs and mastitis. I had clogs with my first baby but never had a problem with the others because I had figured it all out.

Anyway, my husband has been a rock star. He has take. The nights on for me but really it is for all of us because we need eachother and he knows what I need to be able to carry on with all of the responsibilities I have in our family. I am sooo lucky to say that I have not been sleep deprived at all.

So if your husband can do it that is great. If you can afford a night nurse or if you have a great relationship with your mom or mother in law or grandmother etc then they could help.

So far my supply has been great. I try to nurse as much as possible during the day especially during the first weeks because that is when you body figures out how much milk to make. And I pump in the morning most days and I drink the mother's milk tea (not sure that does anything but yeah). And I'm almost at two months which is awesome since I thought it might not work at all. Also I don't pump for her milk because I didn't want to stress about it and was fine with her having formula at night but the morning pumping has been enough to give her some nights feeds.

I was kinda depressed in my first trimesters with my first two pregnancies. I was also stressed at the end. I've never had postpartum depression just normal wobbles. With my second I did go manic when he was three months and then crashed when he was eight months. I was always functional and taking care of my kids though. But yeah. I went on meds when he was 12 months.

Sorry this was probably way more than you wanted to hear but I just really want to help you. I hate to think of people not having babies because of bipolar. People pull it off but it is an uphill battle and we always have to deal with more than other people . And even a normal uncomplicated pregnancy has so much stress in it. But if you're willing to run through the fire go for it (I know that everyone is different and sometimes you may be willing but still can't do it so I'm not at all trying to say it is a matter of will. Believe me I know this illness is not about will).

I am glad I went for the third. A lot of my stress was and is with my other kids. If I didn't have other kids already I would totally go for another one after my experience with this last pregnancy but I do feel like I am done now. Three kids is crazy stressful!

[BipolaRNurse]

I didn't know I was bipolar when I was having my five kids. I did have some serious postpartum depression, and psychosis with the last one. I wasn't diagnosed till age 53 so my poor kids had to deal with my wild mood swings and my hormonal crap while they were growing up.