Work and Bipolar

I have been diagnosed with bipolar for over 25 years. I worked all those years before diagnosis and after. I struggled through it all. It was like hell to me all those years at the jobs I had. They were good jobs, but my stamina and my anxiety worked against me.

I became physically disabled in 2008 and had to stop working until I get better. When it was time for me to go back to work, nobody would hire me. Mainly for the gap in employment. So I went and learned a new trade, but I couldn't succeed in that one either. It was a commission only job and I worked my butt off for 3 months and hardly made any money..that's when I realized that I get anxiety when I work

Now I feel like my brain is fried. I have no motivation for anything. No more ideas as what I can do and frankly after the last failed attempt to work, I realized how much I've changed and how low my tolerance has become.

I have been bottling things up inside and I need to let them out. Hopefully I will be able to do that here.

Thanks for reading my post.

You can talk to us whenever you want to. We are great listeners here and will understand your situation better than most normal people will. If we can help you feel better then please get started talking.

I'm sorry your in such a low spot right now, I think almost everyone here can relate. This is a wonderful place to find support and people that can really understand how your feeling.

Welcome to PC ,I look forward to getting to know you

Thank you both for replying to my post. I am not sure how to make friends here but I'll start posting.

While I was diagnosed with bipolar 17 years ago I don't remember having this difficult of a time. I'm not really depressed.....I'm not really anything. I don't have anxiety but I'm finding myself very anxious at work lately. Tomorrow is a big day for me at work and it's all I can think about. I've lost sleep over it. I work in the medical field so if I have a bad day people can be hurt.

I just don't ever recall bipolar being such a stumbling block for me as it has been lately. My doctor changed my meds a while ago so I don't know if that's it but when I told him about my recent struggle he didn't think too much about it. Of course I only see him for 3 minutes at a time so what does he know?

So instead of thinking of my shift tomorrow as one long 12-hour shift I've broken it down into hours in my mind. Each hour requires certain tasks. I hope it works. Tomorrow I'll be in a new situation and while I told my boss that I was not confident I assured her that I need to just plow through it and accomplish my goals for the day. God, I hope I get through it without doing any damage.