How Do I Learn to Enjoy Dating?

I'm in a bit of a pickle. I met a guy I really like, the first in a very long time.

The last time I dated was 13 years ago and when we broke up, a week later I lost my job and the whole thing resulted in my first nervous breakdown. I had a full manic episode and became suicidal with hallucinations. That's when I was diagnosed as Bipolar 1.

I'm not even technically dating this guy, we just met, got drunk, we both got a little manic and messed around. Nothing serious. But now we talk on the phone every night and we plan on hanging out again soon. I hope. I guess. I don't know.

I'm just so afraid of having another nervous breakdown. How do I learn to enjoy this rather than over-thinking every word, suffering from extreme jealousy and feeling so insecure? Anytime I really like someone I get scared and have such a hard time enjoying it. I always think it's over before it even begins. I'm already thinking of this guy as my future ex-boyfriend.

What I do, is anytime that I feel like I'm starting to lose it a little bit and get ideas that I'm able to recognize as questionable I write them down. If in a week they still seem to be based upon solid logic then I'll act on those ideas. It's a good way of slowing down everything for me. Even though it can be a pain in the *** it works for me and keeps me from doing something I'll be embarrassed about later.

Hi Bipolarist,
I had a huge challenge with dating. The inner chatter went like this: is this person going to be a lover, or are we to remain just friends? And after exhausting inner debating I'd make a decision and act accordingly, with means each of those forks had it's own behavior set.

In my practice rounds for learning NLP I brought this up. One of the participants said she was married to her high school sweetheart and that question never occured to her. A revelation, not everyone goes though this?

So, when the chatter fired up, I would simply remind myself I couldn't decide yet—not enough information. And them pay close attention to how the interaction itself in real life was proceeding.

I trust that somewhere in you is the question that can steer your chatter to the sidelines so you can enjoy the here and now.
Revu2