Does anybody else when manic or in a mixed episode say things they don't mean to the people you supposedly love ? Or get so irritated your mind is going faster than you are and it's racing and you just are irrated and can't think straight and the simplest little thing pissed you off to the extent that you look back later when your out of that phase and realize what the eff was I thinking and realized how you said horrible things! This happens to me especially when I don't sleep does anybody else get this way ? I'm just wondering bc I'm starting to wonder what if it's just me ? Bc the things I say when manic is mean and hateful it's like it not me :/ for real and then I start to think what if am some demon :/ it's only when I get like that bc no regular human would be able to say the mean things I say when I get this way and even growing up as a little girl I would push my friends away bc I would have the werid outburst of getting mad at them over nothing and stuff :/ I lost friends i feel alone sometimes! I want to be loved sometimes I want my husband to love me sometimes.. It's like he hates me. For real it's like I am married but don't hage a partner I guess I am not a good person..

[Hexagram]

Saying or doing things that you don't mean or later regret is what bipolar mania is all about. Now you have to admit and accept that these shameful behaviors were symptomatic of an illness that you couldn't control, apologize where possible, and forgive yourself.

[blanchedubois]

Yes, I say things I do not mean or, what sometimes can be worse, write messages I later regret. Sometimes they are just silly things I would not say if I were not maniac and that make me feel embarrassed afterwards. But last year there was a period I was lashing out at my boyfriend for no reason at all, and now every time I think of that my heart breaks. He has always been an angel and has never said anything hurtful to me.

Now when I start to feel maniac I try to think twice before saying something and avoid sending text messages or emails. It does not always work, though.

Originally Posted by Hexagram

Saying or doing things that you don't mean or later regret is what bipolar mania is all about. Now you have to admit and accept that these shameful behaviors were symptomatic of an illness that you couldn't control, apologize where possible, and forgive yourself.

I do that but I don't think my husband or anyone understands it was the illness you know /: it sucks I literary fight with myself and my thought etc idk it sucks it's like the only people who actually know what it's like is people who have bipolar

[kpsquaredplus2]

One time a bus cut me off and I chased it down then got out of my car and went off on the driver like a raving lunatic. I was literally seeing red. I don't even remember what I was saying to her but know I seriously lost it. There have been times where I have said things to other people too that I wish i hadn't. Being drunk tends to bring out that part of me more.

[Sunnyhunny00]

I say things I don't mean when I get triggered. Sometimes triggers are worse than others. It's almost always lashed out at my partner.
When I get worked up really bad, I can get violent. He disrespected me once a few days ago and I impulsively knocked a plate out of his hands and shoved him over. I don't do well with disrespect. He deserved it.

That being said, I say things that I shouldn't and act disrespectful sometimes because I am not perfect either. I have an illness. The most important part is admitting I am wrong.
We can't go back and change the words we say, or the actions we do but we can show remorse without excuse.

When I know I've said something I shouldn't have I don't use my bipolar as an excuse even though it's what made me like that. I apologize for my behavior, admit my wrongs and do what I can to prove my sincerity. There are no "buts"

Don't beat yourself up, admit when you are wrong and truly accept that we can't change the past, we can only acknowledge our present to help our future.

Yes email is another thing that I have to watch, during my last manic episode I wrote my boss about 30 emails with the new ideas I had for our unit. Luckily she didn't take them serious and never replied to any of them.

I have also gotten into verbal fights with people who I have known for years because they were interrupting something I was doing that had to be done then and there.

[BipolaRNurse]

I'm guilty of this too, only I do mean it at the time.....but later when I come down I feel terrible and beg forgiveness for lashing out. Mania is no excuse but sometimes I really can't control what comes out of my mouth.