[Captinbipolar]

I have recently left about 3 jobs in the past year and a half. In the past three months I got the diagnosis of bipolar 1 which really puts in perspective why I left ( crashed from mania to depression.) so being currently unemployed I wanted to know if anyone had any tips for getting back to work. How do did you know you were ready to start working again? What do you do at work to help control your disorder? How do you handle the stressful days and interactions with co workers? Did you have to change jobs to help control it? Ect. Any tips would be helpful I feel somewhat useless not working and like a failure because I can't hold down a job right now.

[BipolaRNurse]

Hi there, and welcome to PC!

I wish I could help you, but I feel useless too. I've been out of work for a year and have filed for disability as I don't feel I can work. There's just too much anxiety about working with the public (I was a nurse) and I can't really do anything thst involves a lot of thinking as I have some cognitive issues as well.

If those things ever improve, I might try going back to work. I am bored and restless and I need something to do that:doesn't tax my brain too much. But it won't be in nursing......I had two breakdowns during my career and it never recovered.

Wishing you the best in whatever you decide to do.

[Captinbipolar]

Thanks for the comment. I was a professional chef at one the the top rated restaurants in the dc area. I did great while manic as long as I didn't go into psychosis. Depression killed me and the bosses noticed. From what I hear the long hours and the waiting around then going fast isn't good for my disorder (a nurse job i hear is comparable). I'm looking into other jobs for me. Everything you described sounds just like me. The mental confusion I have a lot of, same with the social anxiety. I don't know anything about disability or how to get it but I may be looking into that soon. I'm a mess right one trying out new meds and so far none are working. It's a struggle but I know I can get threw thank you for your support and care. Know I wish you the best as well too

[hopeless2015]

I totally understand just got released from inpatient and ok'd to go back to work today, that didn't happen so I will try again tomorrow

[BeyondtheRainbow]

One of the things I tried was vocational rehab, which is a state govt. sponsered thing that can help you determine what modifications you need to succeed at work and then they supply you with equipment (they tested me for a laptop to help but the company I was working for made it difficult to actually do that), they provide job training for you to do something else, etc. It's called slightly different things per state, here it is really called Rehabilitation Services Commission; I call it what I knew it as in the state where I first learned about it. But they have lots of things they can provide and you can self-refer. It's worth a shot since it can never hurt; it actually helped me in the long-run as they felt I was past the point of being able to work. If I insisted on working they provided some education for my supervisors. But when I did apply for SSDI 4 years later I had evidence that I'd been through that program and SSDI had been recommended that long before. Not that you'll wind up on disability, I just mention it because they couldn't help me but they did in the long run just by documenting I was hopeless (how it felt at the time although both my therapist and psychiatrist agreed I was not done working yet at that time). I got SSDI approved in the shocking time period of 3 months instead of years so I think it did help.

For me the key to working was constant self-monitoring. I was able to adjust my schedule to some extent which made a big difference, but mostly I tried to be constantly aware of my mood and how that was affecting things and very aware of when I might need to take time off. (My therapist and psychiatrist helped with that too). I tried to be very aware of when I needed a PRN pill to help me get through a day and when I might need to take a few minute break. I worked in high stress situations and that wasn't ideal but it was what I was trained to do and what I loved so I did it. I know I had other tricks but I honestly don't remember and thinking back is too painful. Having to quit working was by far the worst thing this illness has done to me.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

If you do decide to try for disability you start the process online on the social security website. (If I remember this correctly) You do an initial short form, then there is a phone or in person interview and then you do a more detailed form that has all the dr's you've seen in the past and releases for their notes, hospital notes, etc. You fill out information about past jobs and why you left. That form has a lot of information. Then a couple weeks pass and you get a form asking you to describe every single thing you can or cannot do. The key to success is to emphasize what you cannot do and explain that when you are able to do it this is because you have help, it takes all your energy for 3 days, you have to take significant doses of sedatives, etc. You don't get long to do this form which is hard with mental illness. At the same time your providers will get similar forms where they assess what you are able to do and how you function on everything. That goes in and they start requesting all of your medical records (you sign a release) and generally it takes quite a while for them to review everything and make a determination. I think most people are initially denied and have to appeal. At that point most people bring an attorney in. I don't know the appeal part at all; there is a program that selects people who are so impaired that there is no doubt that they will be approved and they do not do most of the paperwork on those cases, they just approve them. I was the first mental health case my county had seen approved through that program. It's rare and I don't know why I happened to be fortunate enough to get approved that way (it was partly the documentation of my doctors' which were preparing for this moment for years and it was probably partly that I spent my career filling out Medicare/Medicaid paperwork and knew how to make the answers what they wanted), but I was and so I got benefits 3 months after applying. I am very aware of how much of a gift that was and how many other people are just as deserving but have to wait and I very much wish it were different. I know what would have happened to me if I'd had to wait years and it would have been ugly.

But that's the basic process.

[Captinbipolar]

Wow thank you so much JustMeJen5294 I will look up the rehabilitation service commission ASAP! That made me feel a lot better that there is some hope out there. As for disability I will probably be decline. Not enough time with this even though it significantly has wrecked my life with little hope of getting better soon.

I'm glad to hear you managed to receive disability. With all you mentioned about it it sounds hard to get. I wish you the best thank you so much for your answer it really meant a lot.

[Captinbipolar]

hopeless2015 good luck with everything I hope everything works out for you. Glad to see that your out

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I think that it is good to keep working as long as you possibly can. At least for me going on disabilty took away parts of my life that you just can't get back. It's really frustrating to rely on a social security check that is barely enough to live on (and I moved onto my mom's property to stop having a mortgage payment and it's still hard) and you lose a sense of accomplishment that is hard to get from other things. If work is a big part of your identity as it was mine it's hard to go from that to staying home and sometimes making a little extra money dogsitting for your mom. You can work a little on disability but I can't yet and part of why I'm having such a bad time right now is that I had to retire this year. As soon as the paperwork for that started coming I started falling apart. It's just not something to do until you are positive. For me positive came when I'd had surgery followed by a bad reaction to meds that messed up my cognition greatly, I tried to go back to work and gently was asked to take more time (while my company continued to support me for 3 months past FMLA, they were awesome), I was dangerously suicidal and had been in the hospital twice in a few months and was living ready to be admitted at any time again (even to the point of being packed for a few dr visits), etc. I think that when the time comes you KNOW it. My therapist says he knew my time was running out for about a year before it did and that he is glad he didn't have to tell me. I thought I was doing well most of that year except I was physically sick from catching whooping cough and that turning into asthma that was flared by many of my patient's homes and we later learned by black mold in our office.

Voc. rehab can help a lot. In fact one of my assistants (I was an occupational therapist) had a traumatic brain injury and voc. rehab paid for him to go to school, supported him through schooling and helped him get modifications to the board exam so he could pass it (I think he got extra time). I still think if they'd decided to give me a computer I would have succeeded longer at least in the job I was in then (because when I did use a computer I had less trouble with documentation) but my testing wasn't different enough from written.

It can take a while to get in to see someone and my experience was the whole process moves slowwwwlllllly while you want it to go a lot faster but I had a caseworker change partway through and that slowed things down and the 2nd caseworker was just learning the job and that didn't help a lot. But they did the computer testing and then I had an occupational therapist come to work with me for 2 days and watch how I did things and then made recommendations to me about how to stay more organized and mostly made recommendations to my supervisors about how to utilize my skills better. She also came and spoke to supervisors at a later job with suggestions there. Some of it was so helpful just in terms of supporting what I'd said. My job required treatments be done in 3 outbuildings that were assisted living plus the nursing home and I worked in a couple nursing homes. Going in and out in the summer made me sick from meds and I had asked my assistant to please do the external treatments in the summer and I'd do them in the fall to make up. She hated doing the external treatments and so she was really mad about that. The OT was able to tell them that yes, heat was DANGEROUS for me and that it was much safer to have me to do as much as possible without going outside. But if you have ideas of other things you might like to do or what issues make it most difficult to be a chef they really can help. For people who are severely physically disabled they'll even provide an accessible van or a driver.

[Row Jimmy]

I try to be mindful at work and find some time for mini meditations that focus on breathing. They call them "minis". The key is finding a nice quiet place or perhaps to take a walk and soak in the sunshine while breathing. This isn't easy for me especially since there aren't many (any) private spaces where I can go without being noticed.

I have also focused on de-emphasizing my job and focus more on ME these days. It sounds selfish (and it probably is) but no one can help me more than me. My priorities are now geared toward things I do outside of work. I have some hobbies - guitar, model making, reading. I used to think my job defined me but now I realize that work is just a means to an end.

You're NOT useless and you're NOT a failure! Society projects those definitions on others. Rock on.

[Captinbipolar]

Thanks again for the response Jen as always it's super helpful. Interesting fact about you and heat that was when I did the worse at the kitchen was when I was on the hot line overheating and stressed pushing out food. I'm planning on trying to do what you said so I can get a chance to get work back into my life. I'm sorry to hear about your hardships but you have turned them into helping another which I think is great and awesome keep it up Jen.

[Captinbipolar]

That's great advice row jimmy I'll have to try that if I can get back to work. I recently started meditation and it has helped as has doing art and other crafts that I enjoy doing. Your advice hits home man. Keep it up. I do tend to focus on my job rather than myself and this defeats me as I overwork myself and cause myself to go into cycles. Trying to step back might be a good idea. I recently got offered a executive chef position at s restaurant that I had to decline. It sucked because that was my dream....now I have to reformat my life. I always think that God has a plan for me though and my life is going exactly as he wants. Sure it's not easy but I do learn a lot along the way. Hopefully I can turn it around and help others like what you have done for me. Thanks for the support and advice man I'll keep on trucking.