Empty feeling?

Nearly a month now since I have just felt constantly down in the dumps. I'm getting nothing from stuff I usually want to do, no enjoyment and why does everything have to be a chore? It's another month before I see my psychiatrist and to be honest I'm just so fed up. I know it's a constant cycle but it's just cruel. I can't focus on anything at all and I honestly am just tired. Tired of being at the mercy of this roller coaster. I don't even have the passion to express my opinion when asked. Just don't care.

I just sit here staring into space. And it's taking more and more of my time.

Sounds like you're in a depression. They suck. I try and remember the Times I've felt better and to also remember that I WILL cycle out of it. Sometimes that helps, sometimes not.

Maybe you can give your pdoc a call before your appt and see about adjusting some meds around. Either way, here's hoping you feel better soon.

I'm sorry you're going through a depression. I think Stargazer had a good idea with contacting your pdoc. Until then I would cozy up with a good movie or tv show and be lazy for a while.

I cant even do that.

I just have no interest in anything. My pdoc has always said call, but I just cant find it in me to call and say well, I'm not feeling so great.

Ugh...I totally relate. That's not where I am right now, but that's exactly (almost verbatim!) how I feel when I'm 'settled' into a depressive episode. And I know cognitively that I've felt better, and probably will again, but I can't remember what that feels like. It seems like it's always been that dead/empty sort of feeling and always will be. I'm nervous I'm headed that direction right now. My therapist said I should try to remember that because this is cyclical, my body is just trying to recover from when I'm on the upside, and to be with this down side compassionately. Let myself take the break I need, and not beat myself up over it. Not focus on how I think it should be, how I should feel, and just let myself be how I am and feel how I feel. I can't ever seem to do that once I'm down, though. And it's hard to just let myself be when I also have responsibilities and can't just sit there for months at a time (I think my last episode was around 8 months or so - can't quite remember). Whatever manages motivation is shut down. Whatever manages memory is shut down. Whatever helps me to realize that standing up from the couch is not, in fact, the hardest thing in the world to do...is shut down.

Not inspiring, I realize, but just wanted you to know that you're not alone in that feeling. I hope it goes away for you, and sooner rather than later. Can you email your pdoc? Maybe that will feel like less of a chore, since you aren't really expected to converse, then?

I'm sorry, my friend. That's a terrible, exhausting place to be. Something that kind of helps me is doing small tasks, like just washing one dish instead of the whole sink, or folding and putting away one outfit instead of trying to do all the laundry (or whatever that would be for you, like reading one chapter of a book, spending 10 minutes on one task/fun thing). If nothing else it gives you a little bit of accomplishment which can help with motivation a little, even if you're not getting enjoyment out of it, and it can seem less overwhelming.

"Just keep swimming" sounds like such a joke, but in a place like this, sometimes you just have to try to keep moving until the cycle goes around. It WILL go around and it won't always be this bad.

I feel you. I'm there right now. It's a beautiful day out and I took my dog for a walk hoping to soak in the sun to feel somewhat better but I came in crying instead. I had stopped taking my antidepressant and it's just my 2nd day back on them. I giving myself a pass today and telling myself they will kick in sometime this weekend.
Hang in there, find someone to talk to if it's not your doc. Here's to better days for us both!

Thanks for the thoughts, suggestions and sharing guys. It means a lot and I like the idea of taking tiny steps so thank you again. It's tiring being down and I sleep far too much. It's good to be able to come here and just be understood rather than feeling judged.

I've taken all my meds today including my AD and lithium although I'm still struggling with being compliant on my meds, lithium more than anything. It's such a dulling med although hypomanic me isnt the best place to be.