[Toodles333]

I'm sorry everybody. I'm having a nightmare. I'm very, very low today. I don't want to be here. I rang my crisis team and the woman I spoke to was horrible. She told me to call my GP. She said the Lorazepam must have been working as she hadn't heard from me for a few days. I told her I was embarrassed to keep calling in. She ended the call by telling me it was up to me if I kept taking it and to wait for my Psychiatrist appt tomorrow....and that was that. That's what I get from the people who are supposed to be helping me. I just can't live with myself today.

[ButterflyBaby1]

I'm sorry you're struggling. I have no wise words other than to say take things one minute at a time. Do something in this minute that will help get you to the next. The sun will come up tomorrow and there is always a new chance to make things a little better. Good luck with your appointment. Try to stay strong.

[Crazy Hitch]

Yeah hang in there please Toodles.

I'm sorry to hear that you had such a bad experience with the crisis team - that's not nice at all.

Hmmmm - yes I would say that is very presumptious for someone to state: "Lorazepam must have been working ..... hadn't heard from 'you' in a few days".

Really and truly what kind of statement is that. If someone said such a presumptious thing to me I'd be pretty annoyed, truth be told. People can not just assume how we feel - that is not fair.

Look. I know it's difficult.

You see your Psychiatrist tomorrow. You will get your chance to tell your psychiatrist about everything - about the poor treatment that you got from the crisis team, and your GP who was just making up these unfair assumptions.

In the mean time, please keep posting here.

We care.

[raspberrytorte]

Just hang in there until tomorrow toodles!

Sucks your crisis lady was so unhelpful, and mean sounding for that matter. How are you supposed to know for sure if lorazepam is working for you in just a couple of days. You haven't really been on it that long, have you?

Tomorrow you'll be able to talk to a psychiatrist, and he/she will be able to help you.

For now try to do distracting things. Funny movies, funny websites. Focus on anything that is humorous or happy. Hugs!

[Skywalking]

One more day! You can do it!

[Toodles333]

Thank you.

I don't want sympathy, the sad truth of it is, this forum is all I have to share my feelings. I couldn't possibly tell people close to me how I'm feeling. I've tried and it just makes things worse for me and obviously them. I know it's not healthy to bottle things up, but I don't know what else to do.

I'm pretty broken today. The woman from the crisis team has made me feel like I'm an attention seeker and that I'm making all of this up. Like I've been partying all weekend, now it's Monday, I want something to do, so I'll start making all these things up and ring them. Ive been posting here all weekend about this. I'm not making things up. This is all too painfully real. I saw this same woman last Tuesday. I told her about my medication and counselling not having helped before and she said "have we done anything for you that you're grateful for". These are the people I am dealing with.

I tried to work today, but I just broke.

I rang my GP a little while ago. He said to stop taking the Lorazepam as it sounds like I'm not getting on with it. Story of my life with medication. I told him 100% I wouldn't harm myself, and I won't.

I'm desperate for help. If it doesn't come tomorrow from the Psychiatrist, I really am in big trouble!

T

[sorand0m]

Unfortunately mental health services are a horrible mess in our country. That doesn't make the way you were treated right though and I would bring it up with your psychiatrist tomorrow.

I unfortunately had a similar experience with a lady who told me I was absolutely fine and I should have called my GP instead rather than the local CMHT. Two weeks later I had seriously overspent, been in trouble with the police, not slept for more than two hours a night and marched over to the local hospital where I managed to avoid getting sectioned under the mental health act by the absolute skin of my teeth all because a reception worker tried to play psychiatrist.

Thankfully things have improved a little. I hope they do for you also.

[raspberrytorte]

I'm a little surprised your GP told you to stop taking your lorazepam. To me it sounds like it was helping. You were just on too low of a dose. Your GP should have offered some alternative if he/she felt the lorazepam wasn't working out. Just my opinion.

[Toodles333]

Originally Posted by sorand0m

Unfortunately mental health services are a horrible mess in our country. That doesn't make the way you were treated right though and I would bring it up with your psychiatrist tomorrow.

I unfortunately had a similar experience with a lady who told me I was absolutely fine and I should have called my GP instead rather than the local CMHT. Two weeks later I had seriously overspent, been in trouble with the police, not slept for more than two hours a night and marched over to the local hospital where I managed to avoid getting sectioned under the mental health act by the absolute skin of my teeth all because a reception worker tried to play psychiatrist.

Thankfully things have improved a little. I hope they do for you also.

I'm sorry you've had your problems also. I hope you are on the right track now.

I've been helped by some absolutely lovely people over the past year and a half, but I've also had a few pretty bad dealings too. It's very much hit and miss. Some of these people don't even smile at you.

[Toodles333]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

I'm a little surprised your GP told you to stop taking your lorazepam. To me it sounds like it was helping. You were just on too low of a dose. Your GP should have offered some alternative if he/she felt the lorazepam wasn't working out. Just my opinion.

I did feel calmer and more positive for a bit. It had pretty much killed the urges, it was giving me some sleep and I was eating again. I've been feeling the mania fighting through it for a few days now though.

God only knows what's happened today. It's been a terrible experience. I'm feeling calmer now. The racing thoughts at work were unbearable. I just had to leave the job half finished. I think I've lost that customer now.

I think my GP is probably just covering himself. He was very kind and he listened to me. I broke down on the phone. That's the first time I've done that with anyone I've dealt with over all of this in a year and a half. I think there will be more of that tomorrow. I just need to let it all out.

[Toodles333]

Feeling very positive today. A little manic but I think it's good he sees me like this. I hope I'm not disappointed with today. That could crush me. But, I'm positive things are going to start to change for the better. Today is the start of getting myself back.

[Woolly Bugger]

Good luck! Let us know how it goes.