Starting geodon, considering non-compliance *rant*

So I had a pdoc appt this morning that did not go well. She is always rushing through the appt and doesn't take the time to listen to me or even ask me questions about how I'm doing. I told her I wanted to go in a new direction with my meds because I am fed up with how lithium makes me feel. My quality of life has been so low lately. I just want to feel alive again. I want to see if I can manage with just one med, maybe one that would accomplish mood stability and also act as an AP. She did not agree to take me off lithium and instead switched my risperdal for geodon (20 mg 2x a day I think). I just feel like this is my life, I should be able to try different med combinations if I want to. The fact that my pdoc doesn't listen to me or even ask me questions makes me want to be non-compliant. I want to stop taking my lithium but I know there are big risks with that. I feel like I am a mere shell of who I once was. Yes, I did some problematic things but I felt alive and experienced a wider range of feeling. I feel like I am missing out on my human experience by taking all of this poison every day. I have mixed feelings about it. It has helped me a lot in some ways but I just miss the person that I was. I'm tired of feeling sluggish and foggy all the time. Of feeling like a sick person all the time. Is there anyone out there who has found one med that works for them? I'm ok with taking something. Just hate how it feels taking a big pile of pills every night. Can anyone share their experience with geodon? I've had a lot of hope for all these drugs. I hoped they would make me feel better but I feel horrible! I know all these drugs are the same with the horrible side effects...the weight gain, the mental fog, the lethargy. I feel like I can't win! Either I deal with my intense self unmedicated, or I feel like crap constantly because of side effects.

On another note I need to get a new pdoc but that will mean getting a new T too...and I was just starting to like her. It is so difficult to find quality care with state insurance. I'm considering speaking with a supervisor at my clinic because of the poor quality of my pdoc's treatment. I have just seen so SO MANY different pdocs and therapists...I am SO FED UP with this whole system and being dependent on these people. My life is in their hands and they could care less.

Alright I'll stop. Thanks for reading, and any input is appreciated!

I'm so sorry. It shouldn't be like that at all. The goal should be always to find a medication that helps and lets you feel normal. Personally I'v not achieved that but my pdoc keeps trying.

I've heard a lot of positive stuff about Geodon. It didn't work out for me but very few meds do so that's not relevant.

I'm sorry it's so hard to find providers. I'm on Medicare and my understanding is that it is hard to find providers who take that as well. I was already established with a huge hospital without any problems taking Medicare before I even had it and my therapist's office doesn't take it but give a reduced rate. I do know that there are not many Medicare providers around here at all.

im in a similar situation with zyprexa...
i have side effects from the zyprexa and continue to tell them i dont want to take it anymore but they are just like take it anyway
im standing my ground though and have a history of "non-compliance" if i dont feel right

i quit the lithium cold turkey, at a low-medium dose... i dont reccomend that at all

your pdoc should listen to you more, and if they dont... "non-compliance" is our last resort

stay safe, keep fighting to get off the meds you dont want... no one should be trapped into taking meds they dont want...

What happened when you quit cold turkey?

I just scheduled a very early appointment with my pdoc for this Friday - was not supposed to be for another three weeks. I am going to tell her I want to get off of lithium and try topamax instead. If she doesn't do it, I will be non-compliant.

Hi Daisy! I've been on Geodon for four years. I take 100 mgs at night. I have not had weight gain for it and I have not had any serious manic episodes in four years.

The only thing I question is the dosage your pdoc prescribed. Of course, I am no doctor, but when I was hospitalized, my pdoc had me on a low dosage, I think it was 40 mgs. The pdoc at the hospital told me that different dosages of Geodon do different things. He said I was not on enough Geodon to even make a dent in my bipolar symptoms. He raised it to 100 mgs and that was the magic ticket. I pretty quickly started recovering and I've been on it ever since. That pdoc had bipolar himself and I wish so much he could be my regular pdoc, but he only works in the hospital.

The only side effect I had was akathisia. The hospital pdoc gave me a shot of Cogentin and my whole body relaxed within 10 minutes. He then gave me a script for Cogentin to be taken orally. I have never had akathisia once since then.

Geodon works better for mania symptoms and psychosis than depression symptoms so I have to take an AD and a small dose of Lamictal. That seems to do the trick.

But I'm sorry to say that I don't think Geodon will be the one and only pill you'll have to take. I have to take quite a few others. But maybe you'll be different. I really wish you the best and hope you can find the peace you are looking for.

I had HORRIBLE side effects with lithium and it made me thyroid really jacked up and my pdoc at the time refused to let me stop taking it despite that it never stabilized my moods. I stopped taking the high dose she wanted me to take! I'm not saying to go against your dr at all! I started with a new pdoc and he said if there was no noticeable improvement I shouldn't take it!! I was even on liquid form because it made me so sick.

It's not for everyone. Be your own advocate and talk to your pdoc again.

Just my two cents.

nothing really happened, i was depressed still at the time... i wasnt on it for too long, a month or so