[raspberrytorte]

This is sad. I never drink.

But here I am. Drinking.

I've been so unstable lately. Depressed, paranoid, anxious.

I took ten clonazepam tonight (that would be 10mg) and 4mg lorazepam (even if lorazepam is just pointless. Most pathetic benzo out there). My husband doesn't know. If he did he'd drag my *** to the ER.

I can't stand another day of this. This stupid agitated depression! It's so uncomfortable. And I've been actually tracking my moods lately, and I'm all over the ****ing place! I never would have noticed, unless I was tracking it.

I've only had a beer and a glass of wine. I really hate feeling drunk.

So why am I drinking?

Don't know.

So pathetic.

I'm done now.

[mjrwraith]

Wow that is a dangerous drug and alcohol combo you need to seek medical help immediately please. It's not worth it.

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A beer and a wine is no problem.

Overdosing on benzos is. Especially if you're drinking.

Will you stay chatting a little while so we know you are ok? I expect eventually you will fall asleep.

Its the middle of the day here and now Im tempted to get a carton - I dont like the hangover but Im over this feeling too.

[Crazy Hitch]

I don't think it's sad that you're having a drink ... all things in moderation - you don't do this often - so why not, just let your hair down or so to speak...

You've had a hell of alot going on recently, some pretty turmulous stuff, you deserve a break, well, that would be nice in reality, but if you get to sit and relax with a drink for a while, so be it.

The unfortunate reality is, that this is not the outcome for you.

You haven't been able to relax, and there are a number of reasons that I can think of that have caused this, based on what you have posted in the past and said in this thread. And it hasn't left you feeling relaxed, it's left you feeling drunk.

I don't know much about the benzo brand that you're on (I've only ever been on Valium) ... but I do know, based on what you've stated, you've taken way more than your prescribed dose.

The problem that it creates for you is this:

You already feel anxious / depressed

You've had a drink ... mixed it with benzos = downers = cry = depression feels worse.

So it's not so much that the drink that was the problem, but it's coupled with everything else going on around it that's now created the issue - the only issue is: it's made you feel worse, not better.

I really wish that this wasn't the outcome.

You deserve to be happy

I'm sorry that this happened to you tonight.

We care about you

Tell your husband.

[Sinking Feeling]

You can not overdose on benzos. Get very sick yes. A little alcohol is ok. But surely you did not mean 10mg of klonopin? I think perhaps you meant 1mg which is a significant amount. It only goes up to 2mg and usually they start you at .25 or .50mg

The real danger here is dependency and addition, or worse, you get in a accident because you will be very impaired and your balance will be off and your reaction time will be slower. So this could result in harming yourself or others.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Hope you're feeling ok

[jacky8807]

you CAN overdose on benzos and alcohol together and it happens all the time. Lethal combo if overdone. ten mg of klonopin omg is that what you meant to say?? if you are taking ten mg of klonopin and drinking with it i think its time for ip

[Blue_Bird]

Please check in and let us know you're okay, that's very dangerous

[BastetsMuse]

I hope you've sought help by now .... real life, real time help. Tell us. We care.

[raspberrytorte]

Sorry about my boo hoo post last night.

I'm fine.

Yes, it was 10mg, not 1mg.

(I also want to point out that that's NOT something I do on a daily or even really ever basis. Just last night really sucked. And even at my regular dose, which is 4mg a day, which is what I'm prescribed, I'm ALREADY addicted and dependent and blah blah blah. And I'm trying to wean myself off of it.)

I don't know what the hell happened last night. I have to figure this out. I don't know why I would do that. And drink. I'm very careful about these things. I hate drinking. Because of my lamictal I get the worse hangovers in the morning, even off of just one glass of wine.

Just ONE more month. I can make it to my appointment. I've already waited two months. I can wait one more.

Jeez.

Okay. Stopping. I feel like a big drama queen. Lol!

[raspberrytorte]

Oh, wanted to add that I wasn't a depressed/crying drunk.

My husband told me that I was just pissed off.

[Toodles333]

Hey! I hope you'e ok.

I think we've all pushed the boat out a little too far on occasions. You're only human, we all cave in sometimes. I'm just glad you're still here.

Your first post made me chuckle when you mention Lorazepam. I agree. It's just like eating a sugar pill. Totally pointless.

Anyway, don't beat yourself up about your exploits. The important thing is you're now safe.

Take care.

[raspberrytorte]

Thanks toodles.

Yeah, lorazepam sucks. Seriously, I could take eight of those ****ers and feel nothing.

Now I'm just dealing with a raging hangover. May vomit at work today. I deserve it for being an idiot. lol

[Crazy Hitch]

Hope that hangover passes soon

[Capriciousness]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

Sorry about my boo hoo post last night.

I'm fine.

Yes, it was 10mg, not 1mg.

(I also want to point out that that's NOT something I do on a daily or even really ever basis. Just last night really sucked. And even at my regular dose, which is 4mg a day, which is what I'm prescribed, I'm ALREADY addicted and dependent and blah blah blah. And I'm trying to wean myself off of it.)

I don't know what the hell happened last night. I have to figure this out. I don't know why I would do that. And drink. I'm very careful about these things. I hate drinking. Because of my lamictal I get the worse hangovers in the morning, even off of just one glass of wine.

Just ONE more month. I can make it to my appointment. I've already waited two months. I can wait one more.

Jeez.

Okay. Stopping. I feel like a big drama queen. Lol!

Ms Raspberrytorte, you must stop apologizing! Boo boo all the **** you want. You are not pathetic you are dealing with some SERIOUS ****.

And as for the 10mg and what happened etc...one thing that REALLY scares me and pisses me off about this "illness" is how you can just watch yourself do something that you would never normally do and you know you should stop and you just keep going but it kinda feels like you could stop so then you feel all bad and stupid but then you can't actually stop and then it is all over and you are all like WHAT THE **** IS MY PROBLEM??!!!

Hugs man.
Hold on

[mjrwraith]

Glad you're doing ok and as far as hangovers go as a recovering alcoholic , not saying you are, I can tell you they're the bodies nice little reminder of , "hey I can't do that ." Hope you're getting better and hang in there.

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[raspberrytorte]

capri - That is such a good point. It's like what the hell am I doing! I would not do this if I was stable!

[Sinking Feeling]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

you CAN overdose on benzos and alcohol together and it happens all the time. Lethal combo if overdone. ten mg of klonopin omg is that what you meant to say?? if you are taking ten mg of klonopin and drinking with it i think its time for ip

show me one example of a benzo OD that resulted in death.

[Sinking Feeling]

I'm glad your ok!

10 mgs would have knocked me out with alcohol lol

Bet you had a hell of a hangover with the alcohol and klonopin with it's long shelf life!

I am more worried and concerned you would hurt yourself in some other way, or some one else. Your not always aware how impaired you are. You could have easily fell down a flight of stairs, leaned over a window, stepped in fron of a fast moving vehicle unintentionally!

[raspberrytorte]

Same thing tonight. Only 8mg of lorazepam, 12mg of clonazepam, and two beers. I should be IP, and would be if we didn't already owe 3 grand from my stay in january. Can not afford IP.

[Crazy Hitch]

I know you're going through a rough time.

I hope you start to feel some comfort soon

[Toodles333]

Hang in there and take care.

[kindachaotic]

Originally Posted by Sinking Feeling

show me one example of a benzo OD that resulted in death.

If you google this it does take a lot to od .
But the op is teetering on dosages that can
cause coma & possible permanent brain damage.

Ip costing more $$ is well worth it vs the alternative.
Don't know you but am very concerned.

Please tell your husband, to keep yourself safe.

[Wander]

Hang in there! Stay safe. Thinking of you