Numb?

I'm sure there have been a ton of threads similar to this one... But I've been stable ever since I was in patient then did a month long iop program.. They got my meds straightened out.. And I've been solid for 9 months.. Woohoo right? Well the problem is I just don't feel much of anything anymore... Don't have anything for emotions up or down.. If this is how an average person lives it sucks screw that life.... I'd like to think life should be more then this blandness.... It's starting to get to me... I feel like this me is the only way to keep me my wife and kids together.. I love them all very much but I feel like I'm sacrificing my well being to keep us all together... I think it's worth the sacrifice... But is anyone out there that is stable and at the same time energetic and happy???

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Yeah sometimes meds have this sort of "flat" effect and for me personally I relate to that "numb" - suck all the depression / mania / hypo - feel nothing effect. Not feeling much of anything kind of makes you feel stuck. You're neither here. Nor there. Just in limbo with your emotions. Turn left or turn right? I like the word "bland" - that's an apt descriptor, reminds me of trying to eat dry cereal flakes with no milk. I'd rather choke. There doesn't seem to be a middle ground at the moment, so I fully get where you're coming from in terms of being with your wife and kid; but somewhere in the middle of it you're piggy in the middle to your emotions.

I think that there would be somewhat energetic and happy bipolars out there ... stability is achievable, without having to compromise on something basic such as how we feel.

What sorts of family activities do you guys get up to?

Do you do anything for yourself that you enjoy doing when you are not depressed?

Are there any activities / clubs you could start socialising with so that you can form connections not only with your family, but with others too?

Is there the possibility that your pdoc would be willing to look at med adjustments for you now that you are not IP or does your pdoc sort of want to keep you "level" for a little while longer in light of the fact that you went IP?

I'm currently numb too. I'm trying to find hobbies to see if that helps. T says that happens to bp'ers. You may want to see if meds can be lowered to give you a wider range of feelings. I'm energetic but numb. Remember that you do have feelings for your family.

Thanks for the replies. My pdoc says he wants to keep things as is as long as I'm stable until next spring.. So gonna be a while..

As far as social events. I honestly hate being social period.. Online forums is as social as I get to be completely honest.. My inlaws and family know how I am as well.... My most enjoyable time is with my kids and kids in general. Kids and dogs don't judge you.. I can be a weirdo and my kids and dog still love me for it...

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