[Catholicnun]

[FONT="Times New Roman"][FONT="Times New Roman"]im not gonna go into details i'm gonna sum it up:

2 year close platonic relationship ended on 6/29

the person was psychologically abusive in every way possible (gaslighting/minimizing/projecting)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_manipulation << link for ref

here are some screenshots of our texts (he did lots of projecting and blaming and like ..these screenshots are just a small example.. ) pisces

here's a link of my post talking about how i overdosed and how he acted/reacted pisces

ALSO. HE POSTED ABOUT MY MENTAL ILLNESSES. and other things look pisces

when he ended it and then i suddenly realized, JUST LIKE THAT, he was abusive to me this whole time.

last week: flashbacks / bad memories / realize see clearly / overwhelmed / avoid anything that reminds me of him (blocking mutuals and everything) /
when he comes up in my mind i would have a draining rush. i remember i felt like i was unreal and everything around me felt unreal. i felt light headed dizzy. i had chest pains and it was hard to breath. i was so tired and drained . when he comes up on my mind or sends me an intimidating text or use people as pawns to communicate to me i literally feel like i'm having a heart attack (prob panic attack/trigger) i didn't sleep for days a lot . i would be awake for days and sleep 1-3 hours.

**** also thinking about death 24/7 (NOT SUICIDAL) i'm just constantly thinking about life and death all the time. i'm not exagerrating when i say all the time every other minute i'm always thinking about death. and it's so agonizing.
i can't stop thinking about it and it's huge bc i think i have abandonment issues and i cant acccept that im gonna die even tho obviously itll happen but i'm just intensely thinking of death ever since . i think i'm having an existential crisis .

this week: i had a nightmare about a man dying (even my dreams get anxietieS) and i slept for 15 hours one day . my sleep is still bad as usual before this even happ (oh my god i just fricking paniced like the living room air scent spray just sprayed and i just jumped oh my god) i'm so numb and like i feel so detatched

i haven't left the house in over 2 weeks. i don't eat i'm barely hungry. i feel like im more dead than alive.

he has high antisocial personality traits (no remorse/guilt/egocentric/selfish/lies/violative/harmful to self+others..me/manipulative/no empathy) VERY CHARISMATIC/CHARMING THO. very good @ acting/pretending

i am the type of person that needs to like be heard and i want people to know what he done to me and he probably doesn't feel remorse/guilt he will just feel mad bc he's caught but i just need to feel like i'm heard by people that knows us and idk i'm posting on here instead because i'm too scared .

also i'm diagnosed with
complex ptsd
bipolar 1
gad
panic disorder
ocd
adhd
depression

what i just typed isn't the worse thing that happened to me my moods were worse than this but i'm having these moods now and i'm having difficulty dealing with them . i need comfort. and i want opinions about him. i'm looking more on comfort .

i'm very self aware - perspective person and i'm aware of my emotions and like i know my thoughts and how im reacting is in response to mildly traumatizing things this person put on me

i have no friends anymore he alienated me from them while he befriended them...classic abuse tactic nice....

ugh i'm 17 i can't believe i am dealing with this.. he's 17 too o my god

i already was abused by my dad for years and i am so upset bc i got into this friendship .. it's like history repeat itself..

at least i detected it early... i think im one of the first people who detected this in him (his friends/family seem oblivious of how his behavior/personality is very antisocial)

idk i just want comfort i know it'll be over eventually but im so tired im so idk

comfort. i'm having existential crisis+ depression relapse +repressed memories i remmeber when i was 3-13 + nightmares+
i'm 100% sure i'm rapid cycling actually... idk so many comorbid symptoms

i am a hypersensitive person + empath btw
ugh i feel disillusioned

[elevatedsoul]

do you go to therapy? therapy can help...
i know how you must be feeling, i was in an abusive manipulating relationship for 4-5 years...
everything she told me was a lie and i was being duped at every turn...
i was stupid not to realize it sooner, but when i finally called her out on everything the truth came out and the relationship fell apart
i dont know how to love anymore
im still fighting the pain and emotional scars...

i can only say that this is a good thing for you to get away from him
things can improve with hard work and time
im happier being single and depressed rather than being happy and being lied to about everything

im sorry you've had to endure so much

[4in1]

The best thing you did was loose that toxic person

[~Christina]

It took strong will to get out of that hellish mess. Life will improve , Now its time to focus on you and feeling better. Glad you found PC

[Crazy Hitch]

I'm sorry that this is so difficult for you right now.

There's an awful lot going on .....

And a whole lot of factors both environmentally and also your diagnosis are combining to create a rather uncomfortable place for your headspace (or anyone's, for that matter), to be in right now.

Hopefully with some professional support you might be able to begin addressing each of these issues in order to unpack and make some sense of it

[You know what they say about how you eat an elephant ... piece by piece ...]

May you find some comfort soon!

You definitely need therapy. I read all the links and it doesnt appear that he is the problem... Please be careful about claiming you were abused by this person, it is lucky you are a minor still or you could be in legal trouble. I am not dismissing the so called abuse but there is none in those links and I dont understand how there is any abuse from your post either?

I actually think the last link you posted was responsible of him, you very very clearly need professional help. Please seek that before getting yourself into more trouble. And please be wary of the information you share online. It could come back to haunt you in the future.

Also if you are 17, where the hell are your caregivers?????

You know, most people would be glad that someone is trying to help you get treatment. Accusing someone of harassment for simply trying to help is a bit overboard maybe? It looks to me like too confused teenagers rebelling and fighting over the end results. In most of the texts, it seemed to be more of you attacking him that vice versa. I hope that you find a good place in all this, but honestly I am going to have to agree with supernova's response. Good luck and hope you find the help you need.

[Daonnachd]

Dearheart, as I read your descriptions of his behaviour I was very relieved that you're not still spending time with him. Take care of yourself and things will get better in time.

i was going to say the same thing, teenage crap.
with all the links and evidence.

awesome; power point included in next post?

did you expect to get everyone in on your smear campaign?
you may benefit from therapy. will help out in the long run.
me me me i i i i'm always hurting wah wah.