Bipolar and paranoid

I had a break down last week for a few months I was able to handle my "cognitive delusions" that the world was against me. But finally last Thursday, I lost it in the middle of a meeting at work and stormed out crying. I went to my psych dr the next day and she wanted me to go to the hospital since I wanted to kill myself after I left work. I refused to go and have been home since. She is having me work from home. Thankfully I work in the IT field and have that option. I have no idea when she is going to let me back. anyway... does anyone else think so negatively and have paranoid thoughts? I feel like EVERYONE is against me or talking about me behind my back. Its a real struggle. My daughter doesn't want to be around me when I am like this and that makes it even worse, especially since she just moved out two weeks ago (not because of me)

Hi,

Sorry you are struggling. Are you just going to ride it out and let time pass? Or seek some care? Other than IP, what would your pdoc like to do?

moogs

Yeah it seems like you are down or mixed or whatever and yeah paranoia and delusions are a big deal. Please be safe.

I've struggled with the paranoid thoughts too. After reading some Pdocs notes from 5 years ago I could see more clearly how I made it worse for myself by refusing to take meds and staying home all the time. If I had a do over I'd take their recommendations and go IP. It would have been hell having to be around people but I think I might have gotten better sooner than later.

It will get better! :Hug:

Mixed episode....generalized anxiety disorder. I used to do the dame thing but medicine fixed it for now.

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Thanks all. My pdoc put me on abilify to help with the paranoia.. so just gonna have to ride it out. i cant afford IP so I will just tough it out. I live alone (my daughter just moved out 2 weeks ago) and I find that having the house clean (I am OCD when it comes to a clean house) and having peace and quiet it keeps me calm. I sometimes wish i could just stay home and not have to deal with the real world. For now... I will try hard to pull myself back together.

Thanks for the kind words they mean a lot.

Yeah similar issues just dont talk about them. Almost couldnt answer the door to get the package my mom has been waiting for...ugh! Sorry you're struggling too. It sucks!

Yes.

I feel this way too.

Daily.

It sucks doesn't it!

100% yes. I'm sorry you feel this way, I relate.

Yes, my cycle is usually anger, paranoia, and then more anger. I feel badly about the anger almost immediately but the paranoia sort of lingers for a while and I start to rant about all sorts of unfairness. I'm in my "paranoia" stage right now, feeling like nothing will work out for me because of something out there that's working against me. Today, I needed to be somewhere at 12:30, got lost, got stuck in massive traffic, then got angry at the world.

Of course, I arrived at 12:29 and it all worked out.....as it usually does. But I forget that it either all works out or it doesn't matter in the end. Unfortunately, whoever is with me at the time usually receives the brunt of the anger.

Ugh, paranoia is like the hallmark of bipolar 2 for me. I wish I can get rid of it because its the reason why I have, like, no friends and a poor social life. But I can't imagine life without it. Sucks!

I have some similar problems… feeling paranoid to the point where it's crippling, whether it's other people talking about me or being communicated with telepathically. Things are a lot worse for me when there is more busyness, talking, multiple conversations, etc. But I've found recently that anti-anxiety meds are helping a lot - I'm just in general a lot calmer. I hope things work out for you and you find a way to feel some relief.