I had a manic episode now I'm paying for it

I get manic, or maybe not full blown mania, but manic enough to do something stupid and now I'm down and depressed. I hate myself. I hate this life. It's a hard life and I don't see any way out.

Hey! Just remember it's the BP not you! Everyone here gets it.

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I grew up in a strict religious background and that tendency to point the finger at myself is so easy, even if I'm suffering from bipolar disorder. It's always my fault. And because of that I can't find God in my life. It seems like if I don't have something to feel guilty about, then I'm not doing my part. It's not rational, but that's part of dealing with bipolar.

People find spirituality in many different things. Religion is one of many possibilities, but that should be what it's about for people who are into it - fulfilling spiritual needs. The religion I grew up with taught us that Pokemon were the work of Satan and would possess children into murder, that black people are the demonic descendents of Kain, and that all Catholic people are minions of the Anti-Christ. Sometimes it's good to just.. let that **** go once you're grown up and free. If you need the help of a good therapist to do so, nobody should blame you.

Your post really touched me. I am going through a similar situation where it is like "ok that was stupid but technically I am ok. No arrest of hospitalization so everything is fine but I don't truly believe it. It is like **** how many times before I learn. I can't keep doing this to myself. I can't keep letting people see me like this. I just want it to be over!

I feel your pain...there are a lot of things that I regret

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Yeah... just remember it is BP. I look back at my mistakes and laugh sometimes. That's why we get treatment .

(((((hugs)))))