[Edgar's Mom]

There's been a lot of horse drama (some of it in another post) in my life lately and much of it has nothing to do with my horse.

Back in Feb/March I got a job at the barn where I was boarding him.

The barn is owned by a non-profit which provides Therapeutic Riding to persons with disabilities. It is a nice idea and does a lot of good, but it is run by a conniving and dishonest person who seems to have no feelings or ability for compassion.

When I interviewed for the job I told them that I am Bipolar and have GAD, and that nights are very difficult for me. My husband is a shift worker and our schedule is all over the map.

Also, for the past couple of years, I seem to have a great deal of difficulty waking up in the mornings.

During this time of not being able to get up, there have been med changes. They included increases in Seroquel, and Lamotrigine as well as the addition of Lithium. It is only looking back that I realized this... I was reading a thread on here and realized that my problems with mornings has been recent, and could be med related. I used to be able to get up in the mornings and do things...

Anyway, the idea of letting someone down or being late or not keeping a commitment causes me a great deal of anxiety and I often can't sleep and have near panic attacks the night before I have to get up early.

I was forthcoming about this in my interview and told them I wanted the afternoon shifts. She said she needed me to do one morning a week as a gesture, to demonstrate that I could be there to fill in in case of an emergency.

I agreed, thinking that if I went one night a week without sleep it would be worth it to have the job. So I started and she arbitrarily changed our agreement and scheduled me for two mornings back to back. So I'd do the night, then the next two mornings.

I did it for a couple of weeks then ended up nearly having a panic attack and going an entire weekend with no sleep. I was a write off till the next Thursday and had to start all over the next day. I worked my night shift and then missed the next morning after I had a meltdown after being up all night. I let my co-worker down by leaving her with all of the work and I felt terrible about it.

I told her the mornings weren't working. She sent me an email telling me to write a letter of resignation. I wrote back that I did not want to resign, and wanted to keep the one night shift, then pick of other night shifts as they became available or fill in for people on holidays.

While this made sense to all of the other employees (who all wanted me to stay) she said they were too small an organization to have somone work either mornings or nights, or to have someone who only works once a week.

This is not true. There is another employee there who only works mornings and has only ever worked mornings. She is not available nor required to ever work an evening shift. The woman who was my replacement was only working evenings. I found out that this changed after a while but initially she was hired to work only the evening that I wanted to work.

To add insult to injury, she told me I was welcome to come in and work my shift on the Friday as a volunteer, alongside the person who only works once a month.

As for not being able to have someone working only one shift a week... It has happened before there and in fact they have one employee who has been working there for years and who only works once or twice a month.

So it was just with me that these things were issues. The shift I wanted to keep was Friday night shift that no one else wanted and they had trouble filling.

I called the Human Rights Clinic and they advised me to file a complaint with the tribunal. They feel I have a strong enough case to file a formal complaint and they provide legal advise.

The one complaint would be for failure to Accommodate. There was absolutely no good reason (that anyone who worked there could see) that she couldn't have easily accommodated me. And she made a particular point of not accommodating me even while was actually detrimental to them. The fact that they couldn't even find anyone to work the shift I wanted to keep and had no one to cover off for people going off sick or on holidays.

The other part of our Human Rights Code says that you are not allowed to pay a disabled person less than someone who is not disabled for doing the same job. She took my shift and gave it to someone who worked less than I did and who doesn't know anything at all about horses, and then told me I could come and volunteer with the person she was paying to do the job she just took away from me for no good reason.

My quandary is this:

The injustice of the situation makes me want to see them called to account. Especially since they are committing Human Rights violations against disabled persons while being a service provider to the disabled. I feel some moral responsibility to call them to account as I'm sure they will do this sort of thing again if they think they can get away with it.

but....

Do I put myself through it. I haven't done anything yet because it threw me into a depression so bad that it almost brought me to crisis. I had a horrible meltdown at one point, was unable to leave the house for much of it and have been so, so, depressed and filled with failure and self loathing. Do I dredge all this up when I'm in a happier place with my horse and with a new job at a new barn with a new start.

And I'm not going to lie. A petty part of me is just p*ssed off and wants revenge.

I also feel so ashamed that they hurt me and part of me wants to stand up for myself.

What do you think I should do? Let it go and move on? Or file a complaint?

[Ripose]

I am so sick of people getting away with crap like this, I think you should follow through just so your employer has it on her record. It may help others in the future.

However, if you think following through will adversely affect your health than you should just let it go. Your health has to come first.

[Homeira]

I have been through something similar myself. I resigned from the job, even though I could have stayed, or at least fought for my rights. But I was not well enough to cope with any of that, and in the end I realized that I just had to get away from a very toxic environment. What I learned from it was that sometimes your health comes first.
On the other hand; it is important to not let people get away with exploiting and mistreating workers. And on a personal level it is important to stand up for oneself. Empowering! I think you should do what you can to figth back, but ONLY if you feel that you have the strength to do it. That is a desition only you can take, because only you know the limits of your strength. I am sorry to hear that you are going through this. It is the most frustrating thing in the world to deal with bad bosses. From reading your story it sounds to me like you can back up your claims if you deside to go ahead and file a complaint. And like Ripose said, at least just so that your employer has it on her record. Best of luck to you!

[KarenSue]

Edgar's Mom, I understand your reluctance. It was my boss that verbally abused me to the point of my breakdown. I could have sued the company and the "boss". I chose not to follow through b/c I felt incapable to deal with it. I regret that decision to this day. I could have pushed through it, even though my depression was so strong. I just didn't want to think about it, like you. It is the regret that is depressing now, 2 years later. I should have believed in myself. That is hard now for me to take. I let myself down. And that feeling will follow me a long time. I still hold resentment toward this nationwide firm. I do hope you will believe in yourself and push through it. It will be over and gone, and you won't have to carry the resentment & guilt forward like I do. I believe you can do it..

I'm sorry to say it's just not worth it and honestly you do not have a strong case.

Volunteer barns are a different kettle of fish and it is not fair to go after a not for profit when many are volunteering and doing the best they can.

I had a situation with a barn that triggered me terribly. My case is/was much stronger than yours and I could have got them in a lot of trouble. But I thought of the clients, the kids. Dragging the barns name through the mud or causing trouble at another level was going to impact those kids. So I chose not to.

Less then 6 months later another employee tried to get the same barn investigated. It backfired on her big time as her complaints were petty and now she will not work in the industry again.

Just a quick example for you. I can go on but look at this logically. It is not worth the hassle and your case is weak.

[Edgar's Mom]

Supanova, the legal clinic who specializes in these cases has advised me to file... They know the Human Rights code and I can only assume that since they are lawyers they don't encourage frivolous cases. In Canada we are not litigious and frivolous law suits are frowned upon. These people provide a free service and have nothing to gain (or lose) by advising me.

The agency has a what's called a Duty to Accommodate, and is obligated to do so or prove that it couldn't accommodate due to the fact that it would cause them undo hardship to do so. I don't think they'll be able to do that because it wouldn't have caused them any hardship at all. In fact, it would have been beneficial to them.

In fact, not having me there caused them more hardship as they had to replace me with someone who knows nothing about horses and actually put one horse at risk feeding dry/unsoaked beet pulp, and who was afraid of horses.

They also couldn't find anyone who wanted to work the Friday shift I wanted to keep and had trouble filling it for some weeks after. They also had trouble finding someone to cover off shifts for people on holidays (which I'd offered to do).

As for the agency... It has many other problems because of this manager and they've already dragged their own name through the mud and were at risk of losing their accreditation (if they haven't already) because of blatant disregard for the rules.

Also, this particular manager has no interest in making therapy accessible to children with mental health issues/behaviour or children who are poor. She is only interested in catering to developmentally delayed children of wealthy parents and much of the fundraising subsidizes lessons for people who can easily afford to pay. I asked (and so did others) about making the program accessible to children who are marginalized and she had no interest.

So the only people who could be affected, won't because they can afford to pay anyway and are taking subsidies from charity given by people who have much less than they do. All this manager cares about is money.

The point is I won't be able to damage the agency more than it has damaged itself.

Also, I was a paid staff member, not a volunteer, although I regularly added a minimum of 6 hours of volunteer time per week to my shifts.

Not all Non Profits are good. All that non profit means is that you don't make a profit. It doesn't automatically mean it's a nicey nicey touchy feely organization. I wish that it had turned out to be the case and in fact was very surprised to find out that it didn't.

I understand they hurt you. And that you think the legal people would not steer you wrong. I think if you saw this from another point of view you would see it is more vindictive than actually wanting to prove anything or get your job back. You've moved on to something better, let it go.

I have a hell of a lot of experience with horses, therapy barns, volunteer jobs and volunteer work. I could address every point you have raised but I am on my phone and perhaps you'd like to do it privately as I can use real world examples for you to see.

Generally when you try and take down a place that is widely seen as helpful (regardless of if you and a couple others do not), especially when your case is based on mental health - you are not coming out on top.

I am sorry to say as I know how hard it is to be hurt by these places.

[Edgar's Mom]

If I decide to go through with it, my hope will be that win or lose, they might think twice about how they treat people..

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[Edgar's Mom]

Also, this happened back in April and this is not a knee jerk reaction in my part. I deliberately put off making a decision because I have 6 mos to do so, and because this triggered a very bad episode of depression so I haven't felt not up to the task, but also because I am carefully considering what I want to do and not making hasty or emotional decisions. I don't think wanting justice is the same thing as being vindictive. What they did is just plain wrong.

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You do whatever you feel you need to do. You asked for opinions and this is an area I am experienced in my country.

I am truely sorry you have been hurt by them but making a case against them is not going to benefit you or them in any way. If anything it will put them off hiring mentally ill people. They do not have to, nor do they have to supply services to anyone they do not want to. This may be "against the law" but barns rarely run to the book.

If he horse world is anything like here, this is going to go badly for you and your reputation. Especially if you want to work in other barns, or board your horse. Be aware of what could happen for you if you choose to go through with this. And live with the consequences of your actions.

[Ripose]

Supanova, why are you blaming the victim?

You sound like one of those people who blame the whistle blowers.

I guess if we see a corrupt system we should walk away and pretend we never saw anything.

I am certainly not blaming the victim. I have said continuously that I feel for this person. But having been involved in a similar situation I am trying to offer some advice. From personal experience.

Maybe it's really different in Canada but I highly doubt the horse word is that much different anywhere. Especially as I know many people currently working in barns in Canada and almost went there to work myself so I do know a little about how they run.

This is not the OP's fault but she does not need to take this further at detriment to her own health for what will unlikely be the outcome she hopes for.

Also do you know the chain of which to go through? do you know the process? If you are having panic attack about barn chores this process will send you mad.

Please do not take this as an attack. It is meant in warning.

[Edgar's Mom]

Supanova, I’m going to assume that while your post came across as judgmental and over-bearing to me, that was not your intention. I’m going to assume that you have a genuine desire to help me, and that you didn’t mean to be hurtful. However, I feel I have to make a few points as I feel that you have crossed some boundaries.


You may be offering me advise based on your personal experience, but I have to wonder if much of what you are writing is more about your own situation than it is about mine.


You make some very valid points and I would have a much easier time taking them in if they were not so steeped in judgement. Your tone (whether or not you intend this) comes across as very repressive and over bearing to me.


I do feel a little bullied by your posts. I can take it and give it right back, but my fear is that people lurking who are timid, may see this and be afraid to post. If they fear intolerance and judgment, it is likely that they will no feel safe to post here.


Yes, “violating Human Rights” is “against the law.” It’s against the law because it is wrong and unjust, not because of some technicality that I’m exploiting.


The fact that my work arena is a barn is irrelevant. I could just as easily have been posting as a waitress, a gas attendant or a social worker.


The facts are these:


-It is a human rights violation to discriminate against someone with a disability.

-I did full disclosure before I was hired and was very frank about my weaknesses

-an agreement was made and I started

-the agreement was arbitrarily changed after I started in a way that exploited my weakness and set me up for failure

-I asked for accommodation which they are legally obligated to provide up to the point of undo hardship

-there was no hardship but they refused to accommodate


When I made this post I asked for opinions. I did not ask for judgements. Imputing motive (declaring my intention to be vindictive) came across to me as judgmental.


Implying that by standing up for myself and what is right, I will somehow be responsible for other disabled persons not getting hired in the future is unfair.


You need to know that I am not taking down any place, and am certainly not powerful enough to shut down this barn and throw the disabled kids out on the streets. Nor would I want to!


I’m confused by the fact that on one hand you think my case is too weak, but on the other hand you think I have enough power to ruin them.


If I do this (and I haven’t decided yet-it’s why I’m on here posting about it) it is something that will be between me, the Human Rights Tribunal, the GM of the agency (the one at fault) and her board of directors. It’s not like I’m going to campaign and call the news to try to get them shut down.


Also, if I do this, I’m aware that it won’t benefit me or them in any way. It may benefit the next person who works there, or it may benefit all of us as a community, as workplaces learn that they can’t get away with discriminatory behaviour, and they learn to be more compassionate and tolerant. If nobody challenges these things, then nothing changes and the status quo remains.


Now, that said, once I took a step back (because you really P*ssed me off) I could see that you make some valid points and I will certainly consider them. There’s some good advice in there :-)


I also really appreciate that you took the time to read my post and then to comment. I really do. I believe you when you say you are trying to help me and I thank you for it.


I had to let you know how I feel though.

[Brophy]

This is probably not going to be a popular opinion on these forums but I feel like I should say this. I've had the discussion with my therapist many times about my disorder and if I should be forthcoming about it with future employers. As it stands I let my current employer (I'm a bartender) know so that I could get reduced shifts for awhile to go through a med change. In hindsight, I wouldn't have been so specific about the reason I wanted reduced shifts (I specifically stated treatment of bipolar disorder at the time).

Back to the part where I've talked with my therapist at length. She and I both agree that for any future jobs I seek I don't need to and should not disclose my disorder, ever. If I need time off for any bipolar related reason I'll just ask for medical leave and leave it at that.

Now to the part where this applies to you Edgar's Mom.

You had no obligation to disclose our disorder during your interview. While I more than understand and perfectly agree with your reasons for doing so, an employer is going to look at that as a black mark. Yes there are nice people in the world, and yes they will take a chance on you if you show you can handle the work. In this instance, it seems to me that was simply not the case. I understand the importance of holding a job, even if it's only one day a week, I've been there. But you control how much your employer knows and by being honest you just gave this despicable person another reason to fire you if things didn't work out.

My honest suggestion would be to just look for work elsewhere. Especially if you are unhappy with how the business (non-profit) is ran. I'm sure you can find fulfilling work beyond your most recent employ.

I'm sorry that you have had so much trouble because of a callous individual. It doesn't change the fact that you have to keep in mind that they have the right to not hire or fire you based on mental illness. Especially if you at any given time during your employment history with them have show that it causes an inability for you to do your job. The state I live in is an "at will" state. This means that my employer can change my job description at will and if I don't like it they can fire me (think scheduling shifts that I told them I could not work) and I have no legal recourse.

I hope you can make peace with this situation and that it hurts less and less in the future.

[~Christina]

I have been on the fence about replying on this thread....

I can see all the many sides people have pointed out,, for pursuing this and walking away.

I do know there are some differences between laws in Canada and USA.

I would consider the whole process and if its going to cause you emotional upheaval and destabilize you, I know your currently seeking out ECT and/or other meds to find stability.

Maybe grabbing hold of this and working on it will be something healthy to focus on and it certainly may make others who find employment there will have a better non judgemental experience.

I do know here in the USA.. the ADA is really all bark and no bite. Sure they talk all about standing up for people when they are discriminated on the job. But sadly the reality here is the employers hold the power and if you do fight back, Employers will make changes to " look good" but then 3 months later write you up 3 times for being 1 minute late to work or coming back from lunch or break and have a "legitimate reason" to let an employee go... This isn't 100% but its certainly more the norm.

Also here in the USA seems like everyone is always sueing someone one for something , So our court systems are over loaded and most everything just gets put off and/or made so difficult that people just throw there hands up and say to hell with this.. "I was looking for a job when i found that/this one"

I think if you have been advised that you do in fact have a good case and your up to that.. then by all means go for it. What if once this process starts ( I dont know how long it takes in your country) you find it knocks you sideways , Are you able to drop out or do you have follow through to the end regardless if this is something that is going to be harder on you than expected/planned on?

And lastly .. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. I am glad that you found PC , These kind of situations happen and by discussing it other people can think about what they would /should/could do in there own lives if faced with the " Do I disclose"

Sorry matey for upsetting you. I just know this will not end well for you. I get frustrated when I know I can help someone but they just cannot see it. This is my issue. And I tend to treat horse people as I would face to face. No bull.

There is also some cultural difference here. The other person I mentioned (not in mental health treatment) also got legal advice, followed it to the t. The process she went through was incorrect in this business and the barn invited the professionals out to get it straightened out.

The barn was found to have no safety issues, no issue with feeding (there were volunteers who fed not soaked enough beer pulp, wrong medicated feeds etc), the complaints about the centre manager were completely thrown out - because in the associations eyes she is doing great. Safety issues were also thrown out as it is understood that therapy barns run differently to the book. The person who complained will never work in therapy barns in this state again and they have gone to ground as the social media hype was ruining her reputation.

Much of what you had written is in the option of yourself and barn friends. How do you think someone else will see this situation?

You guys may think I'm judgemental etc but do one horse show and you will see that I am just your typical horse person! Also the horse industry is not like any other. I Am not a fluffy bunny hugger and anyone who follows my posts knows this.

Examples of other barn complaints - track work rider at my work whinged about being called a "stupid c **t" slapped and chased with riding crops/whips, the only drinks available were soft drinks that got taken out of your pay, if you don't pick up the crap quick enough you get verbally absued and given the prick horses to ride. This persons complaint was thrown out, she was told to toughen up and she has a black mark against her name, meaning no one in the horse industry wants anything to do with her. After 2 years of trying she gave up horses as no one in the state wanted someone in their barn who was going to make waves.

Mental health barn complaint - person wanted to do mornings (but after 8am cos of Meds making it hard to get up) person was put on afternoons only. Person then disclosed mental health issues in an attempt to get morning shifts. Barn made work life extremely difficult until person was forced to quit. Person did not have a legal leg to stand on here.

Also in regards to her offering you a volunteer position- she has done her bit in trying to accommodate you. Therapy and volunteer barns do not run by traditional working standards and those who you will complain to know this. Horses are hugely different to any other job, you just cannot compare it.

I've run a few barns in my time and have offered lesser positions and volunteer positions to those who have not been up to scratch. Better than firing them (which was within my right) in the hopes that would not destroy them. Some have reacted like you, but it was never taken any further.

I can go on with more barn related stories but this is long and I think you get the point. You know the horse world is like no other - people outside of the business can NOT understand.

Also I'm wondering if you maybe put this on a horse forum? See what the local horse scene says about this situation. I understand you have been greatly affected by this and I am sorry.

[Edgar's Mom]

I want to thank everyone (even you Supernova :-P) for your input.

I am no closer to making a decision but I appreciate all of your input. You are right Christina that I have my ECT tx's coming up and will be going twice a week for 9 tx. In the meantime I moved my horse to this new barn and am working there a few shifts a week. That's why I didn't respond earlier... I was at work! Which is so very cool :-)

There is something to be said for letting go and moving on, but I almost feel a responsibility to do this :-/

I don't know....

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