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#876
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I've been so good for a while but today was my first day back at work. Found out a team member is quitting which means my workload will go up and I'm stressing about my home life. So now my mind is racing and I am incredibly anxious...feel like I'm gonna cry, which I can't do because I've got the kids here.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Takeshi
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#877
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Today was the first day back in the office since "Blizzard 2016" and it wasn't that bad. I actually socialized (maybe more than I should have) even with those I did not care to see. As the day went on, I felt better. I guess being around everyone after days and days of isolation helped. And I got more work done than I thought I could!
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![]() Takeshi
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#878
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Had a busy day at work and had to give an evening presentation which was a little stressful but it went well and I got some good public speaking experience. In a pretty good mood tonight, just bought a new Kurt Vile album on itunes and am chilling out and listening to it.
I've been feeling really tired lately, like just sort of exhausted. I've been getting a good amount of sleep (6 hours per night, which is good for me) and exercising on a routine basis so I think it may have something to do with the lithium regimen I started last week.
__________________
--Keegan BP1 Substance Use Disorder -- Alcohol (In Recovery) 900mg Lithium 15mg Temazepam PRN "Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not After You"
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![]() Takeshi
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#879
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Made it in to work again, meeting with boss this afternoon.. Can't wait.. Not
Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
#880
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Found a new Pdoc that will see me while I'm on pain meds.
Still in a fog but not feeling as bad as I have. I think though that any thing will push me over the edge. Im just grateful to be in a little better of a mood. I guess its a mood. I really don't know these last ones have been new to me.
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Bipolar 1 Depakote 1250, Trazadone 200, Cymbalta 60 |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu
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#881
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I'm feeling pretty good today. I even sewed for a while until my back started hurting.
![]() Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
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Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha ![]() |
![]() Takeshi
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#882
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Mentally OK, physically not so much. My mom's youngest sister died. Rather scary as it was unexpected and shes the same age as my oldest sister. She was my aunt who also had bipolar illness and spent years looking for the right meds. How much did all those meds affect her? She just felt unwell went to ER and then stopped breathing, they put a tube in then her kidneys failed. At least it was quick...but I can't stop thinking of how hard some meds are on the kidneys. There was no obvious reason for her to have died.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
![]() Anonymous45023, gina_re, Icare dixit, Takeshi
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![]() Takeshi
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#883
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Quote:
Damn, I'm really sorry to hear about that. My thoughts are with you and your family ![]() As far as my own check in... today went alright. A bunch of my coworkers thanked me for helping them out with an obscene amount of paper work over the last couple of weeks. I think that the lithium is making me a bit lightheaded at times -- It's nothing too serious but I've noticed myself feeling a bit spacey and out of it around 2 hours after taking it. I read up on the side effects of lithium this afternoon and I'm really paranoid about weight gain. I've been getting back in shape over the past few weeks and to have a medication undue all of the hardwork I've put in is really a frustrating thought. I rowed over 8km after work today, which is a personal best (within the last couple of weeks) so im feeling pretty mellow and calm. Hopefully the cardio and proper diet will help continue the weight loss.
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--Keegan BP1 Substance Use Disorder -- Alcohol (In Recovery) 900mg Lithium 15mg Temazepam PRN "Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not After You"
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![]() Nammu
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![]() Nammu
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#884
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Had a difficult time getting to sleep last night, so I've been pretty tired today. Depression hasn't been too terrible, but the irritability has been pretty bad for about the last 24 hours. Not talking to my boyfriend (it's been a little over a week) is really getting to me.
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#885
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My day didn't start off gd. I had talked my oldest daughter into seeing a doc. She's been depressed and suicidal. We got there and the check-in line was really long ....it set her off. She walked out and refused to wait. We got to the parking lot and I gave her some "real" talk. I told her ***** things would not jst go away. That she could ride the wave if she wanted but she can see how that's been going. She was quiet as a mouse. We left and went to her favorite place Barnes and Noble. Then Starbucks and a local mall. I brought up rescheduling and she agreed.
Sent from iPhone 6 Plus using Tapatalk
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#SpoonieStrong Spoons are a visual representation used as a unit of measure to quantify how much energy individuals with disabilities and chronic illnesses have throughout a given day. 1). Depression 2). PTSD 3). Anxiety 4). Hashimoto 5). Fibromyalgia 6). Asthma 7). Atopic dermatitis 8). Chronic Idiopathic Urticaria 9). Hereditary Angioedema (HAE-normal C-1) 10). Gluten sensitivity 11). EpiPen carrier 12). Food allergies, medication allergies and food intolerances. . 13). Alopecia Areata |
#886
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Long lines can set me off too when I'm unstable. I'm glad she agreed to reschedule though.
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Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
#887
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I actually slept through the entire night! Hooray!
But I'm so exhausted this morning. I guess my body is still learning the medication adjustments.. |
#888
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Made it to work again, really upset that no one is taking my depression seriously, keeping to myself f em
Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
#889
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I'm feeling pretty good for the first time in a while. No depression and no anxiety.
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
__________________
Bipolar I, Depression, GAD Meds: Zoloft, Zyprexa, Ritalin "Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most." -Buddha ![]() |
#890
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Ok day for the most part. My son and I are both crabby this afternoon. I foresee an early bedtime. And I miss my bf
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![]() Icare dixit
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#891
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Had a pretty stressful morning, met with the CEO of the company which went well but was kind of nerve wracking. Also had to give an orientation for a research study with the program evaluators there taking notes and monitoring everything. Put me in kind of an anxious / high alert mood all day. Got home and exercised a little bit but not as much as I normally do, Prbly going to order a pizza and treat myself to some comfort food tonight hahaha.
PS: Really worried about weight gain on lithium. I gained 30 pounds over the summer (I think due to both meds and unhealthy lifestyle) I was finally getting my weight back under control but my progress has started slowing over the past few days.
__________________
--Keegan BP1 Substance Use Disorder -- Alcohol (In Recovery) 900mg Lithium 15mg Temazepam PRN "Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not After You"
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![]() Icare dixit
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#892
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I'm so glad I only had to work a half day! I'm so tired! But after work I went to get my taxes done, so that's over with, but at least now I know what my refund is! I hope I can get through work tomorrow..
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#893
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I started the day so depressed I could barely walk. Made it to group though. I bailed out at 2:15 and went home to sleep. Couldn't sleep. I just keep picturing my husband the night he died, replaying it in my head...looking at the clock...asking the police officer why he was downstairs and not helping my husband...having him tell me he was dead...and screaming. Just screaming. Falling on the ground and screaming. It's horrible so I got up instead and went to go get my so.n so I wouldn't be alone.
Then we had a nice night. I took him out for pizza and frozen yogurt. We go to one of those places that has all the toppings.l you can put on. He loves picking out his toppings. Came home and I felt better. I feel almost ok now. And no intrusive suicidal thoughts today. Which is an improvement. I made plans with my sisters in law for Saturday. I volunteered to cook dinner but I don't know if I'll be up for it. If I'm not we can go out. I'm just wavering the fact that I feel slightly better. Small steps.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() Anonymous45023, gina_re, Icare dixit, Nammu, Wander
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#894
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What a weird day. After putting two and two together about work yesterday, anxiety has been building up in me. I only ate because I got a headache. I was supposed to go out today. At the very least to stop by my sister's to drop off something. But every time I thought about going out, I felt anxious and couldn't get myself to get dressed. So I didn't. Day two without a shower..
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![]() Anonymous45023
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#895
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I seem to be doing mostly well bipolar mood wise. But it never fails, when I'm doing well, something in my life will always go wrong. So now I have a reason to be upset. Pretty sure my boyfriend is breaking up with me. Which would be fine if he would TELL me that. Instead he just cut off all contact without telling me anything. Now I have no idea if he hates me or if he is dead. Which is 1000 times worse than just knowing what is going on. I don't know, just another sign that I'm a terrible person and deserve to be alone. Last guy I had feelings for left without a word too
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![]() Anonymous45023
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#896
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Much better day today than last few. Insurance issues left me without one of my meds for three days, finally got script filled and was feeling pretty sick Fri night, straight up batshit crazy yesterday so glad to be feeling better today
Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu
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#897
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Finally a Pdoc to see me while on pain meds. I hope there is hope.
__________________
Bipolar 1 Depakote 1250, Trazadone 200, Cymbalta 60 |
![]() Anonymous45023
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#898
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Feeling quite anxious today. I think that I'm suffering from the fabled "lithium fog." I just feel kind of off and have difficult concentrating / staying focused.
__________________
--Keegan BP1 Substance Use Disorder -- Alcohol (In Recovery) 900mg Lithium 15mg Temazepam PRN "Just Because You're Paranoid Doesn't Mean They're Not After You"
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![]() Anonymous45023
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#899
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Late getting to work but made it there and made up my hour. Pdoc appt Tomorrow
Sent from my XT1058 using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
#900
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first day at work - manager said they are looking to promote internally soon and recommend i keep that in mind. everyone is my age which is cool. coffee machine, fresh fruit, good stuff. gunna be hypomanic come end of march, glad ill be able to afford moving out on my own by then.
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