[scatterbrained04]

I've decided bipolar can go **** itself. I'm done with it all. Tired of feeling like **** every day for no reason.

[Nammu]

Yesterday I set one goal for myself...get dressed. Sounds like such an asinine goal, but for me its big. It was afternoon but I did it.

[hopeless2015]

Stayed home and slept all day, tomorrow is another day, I'll have to get my *** back to work and back in a routine

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[Keegan2015]

Woke up and shoveled snow this morning. Changed the strings on one of my guitars. Otherwise not too much going on. Suddenly feeling kind of nervous to meet my new pdoc for the first time on Wednesday.

[Unrigged64072835]

Cancelled t today because we had to sedate our cats at an ungodly hour before we could take them to the vet, and we were both exhausted. I didn't really have anything to talk about anyway so it was a good thing.

Did some housework and cleaned out half of the storage room. We had a bunch of empty boxes from shipments. Will do the other half and start tearing up boxes tomorrow.

[Standup2me]

I have that slipping feeling. We all know that feeling. The "everybody is watching me" feeling, the tears that fall for no reason, the feeling of having a total lack of control.
I don't like this

[hopeless2015]

I've fallen down again, keep promising work I'll be in then can't get myself to get up and go. I promised my husband if he helps me get up and going tomorrow I'll go. I made a promise so I have to keep it. Right now in sleeping all day and then waiting to take night meds so I'm knocked out for the night. I'm on a cancellation list with pdoc, hopefully I can get in before the 9th unfortunately I think another med adjustment is in order

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[gina_re]

Yesterday was hard. Partly because I was still exhausted from shoveling all that snow from the blizzard, partly because I was struggling to work. I made it a half day so I can sleep it off. Luckily I had the day off today because of the weather. But I'm still laying here without a shower and I don't know what I feel. I've cut two friends out of my life and although I don't really feel horrible about it, there's still that void for me to get over (I'm not crying or have regrets, however).
I'm nervous about going back to work because it's now becoming overwhelming. My lack of concentration doesn't help. The work is just more demanding than I think I can handle right now. I've never used my illness as a reason to slack in my work, but lately I'm leaning towards saying something. It's already documented I have it, so it won't be coming out of the blue.
I don't know...I just have no clue how I feel today, but it can't be good because I'm sitting here in the same clothes I've been wearing the past two days in the dark.

Plus my sleep has been horrible the past few weeks..

[Hopeful Camel]

Hi all, I haven't been on the forum in ages. I had both knees replaced, then suffered a bilateral pulmonary embolism that put me in critical care unit for a week. I was hospitalized three times since I last wrote...and none of them were for a psych admit. That was a change for me, lol.

I just gave up my license to practice law today. I have finally come to grips with the reality that I cannot live a healthy bipolar/PTSD life and practice law. Something was going to give, what with all the stress. I need to do what I need to do to stay relatively healthy. Not many people in my life understand why I have done this, but I did it to stay alive and healthy.

Today I'm just putting one foot in front of another. Not productive, probably because it was an emotional day. Therapist says I am showing my old BPD symptoms again lately. Hurrah.

[gayleggg]

I've had another day which consisted of me laying on the couch fidgeting. My anxiety has been really high today. I don't know if it's the change in meds or just the usual anxiety. All I know is it has been a horrible day.

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[Keegan2015]

Work was cancelled (again) today. Paid emergency leave woo! I woke up late And shoveled my driveway some more. Wanted to get some cardio in but my bro didn't want to go to the gym so we just sat around and watched Kitchen Nightmares reruns all afternoon. Seeing new podc for the first time tomorrow, he's an older middle eastern guy but has good reviews on zocdoc (or whatever it's called) so I'm not too nervous about it. Mostly just been a boring day, keep having intrusive thoughts about the manic shitshow I had last spring. Overall doing well but kind of restless.

[Shadesofdark]

Finely coming out of a three month long deep depression. Showered today and went to pdoc appt., first time out of the house for awhile. Thank you people who pm'd me, was a big help. Most of all thank you to my dear wife who has to live with me every day.

[Nammu]

exhausted. Had to call the phone company(have sever phone anxiety) their web site was useless. By the phone number I was so frustrated, I could get to a real live human being just automatic voices that didn't give me any choices that worked for my problem. By that third number I was so anxious I was crying, stupid! The new services I ordered last week were not turned on but after an hour on the phone everything is supposed to start by Thursday...Friday at the latest.

[Standup2me]

Looking down into a deep pit, and clinging to the edge
The demons howl and gnash their teeth
The Sirens call
The darkness creeps forward

[Cocosurviving]

My day was ok. I went to a food pantry for a little groceries. Ran a few other errands. I went to visit an aunt. She's in a wheelchair and usually home alone a lot so I try to check on her.

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my drone broke.

and i'm really depressed over that fact (1 of the best things i ever baught)

for those that don't know it's a little thing with a remote control that flies (or is meant to fly), but often crashes. lol

sadly the motor went in it.. i only had it for like 3 days.

not much else new... in a place where i feel life's not getting worse, but then at the same time it's certainly not getting better

[Wander]

Feeling much better after a month IP. Was a hell of a ride so wonderful to be stable now for four days. Have been off the forum while unwell and now can't type much as I have injured my right shoulder while doing yoga...you try to do the right thing with your health and then that happens...lol

Big hugs all round to you wonderful people.

[gina_re]

I slept so good last night despite the chaos with my friends yesterday. I decided to double my Restoril to 30mg because I knew I wouldn't sleep with all that drama in my head. And I slept so good! I woke up in a good mood and not groggy from waking up in the middle of the night once or twice. So hopefully I can get through work today because this job is draining me enough as it is.

Originally Posted by gina_re

I slept so good last night despite the chaos with my friends yesterday. I decided to double my Restoril to 30mg because I knew I wouldn't sleep with all that drama in my head. And I slept so good! I woke up in a good mood and not groggy from waking up in the middle of the night once or twice. So hopefully I can get through work today because this job is draining me enough as it is.

send some of that sleep my way?

none at all here for me last night

[runningfromrazors]

My mood is pretty good today but i am having extreme anxiety about getting out to pick he kids up from school

[hopeless2015]

Grouchy and pissed off at the world today. Back at work and keeping my ****** mood to myself

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[scatterbrained04]

Having a really hard time focusing this week. It's getting old.

[Standup2me]

Slipping, slipping, slipping and trying so hard not to

[Takeshi]

To anyone unspecific, the good folks of BP forum, yes every one of yous. I like you.

Sorry that I threw Chris Angel at you, I'm annoying, I come across like that, I can't change that entirely for you, hope some understandings are there... Wishing all of you a empowering day! Self-empowering that is.

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Slipping, slipping, slipping and trying so hard not to

Slipping on the ice? IDK. You're the one who taught me of 'Sheer Will Power' on one of your past post. Either way you learn.

[Keegan2015]

Saw my new pdoc today. He's older but seems like a nice guy, he took a lot of time going over my symptoms with me. prescribed me lithium and told me to come back in a month.