Anyone else struggle with bipolar and anger problems? Have a hard time taking meds?

Hi there. I'm new here and just have a lot of questions and wanted to see if any of you can relate.

I've been struggling with my bipolar a lot lately and feel I have a lack of understanding on some things. I'm recently married and have a wonderful baby girl and love them to death. My wife and I found out I was bipolar during the course of our relationship and although I know she is there for me, her patience is starting to wear thin. I get into my "moods" which seems like a lot and and it makes all communication and understanding of eachother come to a halt. Anyone else have these problems?

Also, do any of you with bipolar get angry often? I'm confused about weather it's part of my "moods", me trying to cover up how I'm really feeling, or something separate all together.

Our roommate also has know he is bipolar since he was in high school. He's kind of my example since I'm still new to this all. He is about in the same position as me when it comes to having a wife and a new born. He doesn't take any medicine for it but is a big pot smoker. He calls it his equalizer that always brings him back to that familiar place. He's just always so calm and collected and over the years I've never seen him have too much difficulty. I don't know how he does it. Lately I can't help but feel resentful towards him and feel like I myself am just doing something wrong?

I used to smoke also but have recently stopped for many reasons but ultimately felt it was no longer helping me in the way that I thought it was. I've tried medicine several times but always come back to the curse of, "I feel good today" and lose sight of what will happen tomorrow and it's ultimately ended up with me being hospitalized twice in the last year to get the meds back in me. It's a constant battle that I feel like I am constantly losing. Makes it hard to even know who I am anymore and that feels all but a distant memory.

How often do your "moods" fluctuate?

Sorry for the long rant but any advice or insight is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

I have had a lot of anger issues, inappropriate rages over my lifetime. With my social skills group sessions and role playing through difficult issues without getting angry I have learned a lot more control. However when I am hypomanic I have more trouble with it.

Also I have been getting a lot more control over the BPD reactions but they too increase with hypomania for me.

I don't get the feel good feelings so I don't have issues with taking meds. My depressions were so severe and I was so desperate that I came to terms of having to take meds a very long time ago. However the mood stabilizer struggle is so frustrating and I am so sensitive to side effects that I don't know if I have hope of finding one that works. I think I have been on almost all of them. My pdoc said we may have to start retrying ones. It feels hopeless to me at this point.

An unmedicated bipolar is *probably* going to have a lot of anger issues. I know I did. Until I found the right mood stabilizer and took it regularly I was not a pleasant person to live with. Perhaps you should reconsider medication?

Bipolar is an illness of the brain as diabetes is an illness of the body. Both need regular medication in order to be controlled.

I have some anger issues, but mostly I feel like I have mellowed out over the years. When I was a teenager and in my early twenties I frequently had temper tantrums, where I was so angry it felt like I needed to destroy something or I would explode. It was like the anger took over my body or something! Instances like that are rare now. There's only a couple holes in the wall in this apartment.

My family is used to my moodiness. I know they don't like it but they know it is apart me of me. All I can suggest is take medicine. I honestly could not imagine being without my medicine.

I do have anger problems. I try to control it which is not always easy.

My anger is what drove me to get help in the first place. I know it is a part of bipolar for me because when I am well I do not get angry. I have no trouble controlling it when I am well. When I am in an episode, I find it almost impossible to control.

I have to say I would be annoyed with you too if you weren't doing anything to help yourself. If you didn't stay on meds or at least try to go to therapy I would definitely be frustrated. So I can see where your wife is coming from. However I also know where you're coming from. My husband used to get so frustrated with me. That was when I was trying to find medicine that worked. But I was also ****ing with my meds and not taking them as prescribed and/or not taking them at all.

It's time for you to decide whether you're willing to do anything it takes to keep your family. If you keep going on without treatment you may lose everything you love. Are you in therapy? Sometimes therapy can help you accept the BP diagnosis and be more compliant with treatment.

Like wildflower, I sought out help because of the anger. I personally have to be on medications. After eight years of finding the right meds I am the closest to stability than ever. I still have some hypomania and depression still, but not like before. Meds can't solve everything. My biggest issue is anger. When I'm stable I tend to have control, but when hypo the road rage begins and inappropriate comments towards my husband.

I have anger issues and I'm non compliant. I'm currently off my meds again. Medication really calms me down, but I despise the side effects. It's a trade off I guess.

Thanks for all the responses guys. Sorry to the others that are going through it as well or have gone through but it feels good to know I'm not alone. The toughest part with medicine for me is knowning that you are dependent on something besides yourself. Still taking baby steps to accepting that my bipolar is even apart of me and am slowly learning to embrace it a bit instead of hiding it. This forum and talking to all of you feels like a big and good step for me. Also good news is I've got an appointment set up again to start back up on meds again...hopefully better ones this time. Also, I'm not in therapy right now but actively searching. My last T I felt was horrible and didn't seem like he knew anything about my situation or bipolar in general. Maybe it was partially me because I have a hard time explaining my feelings to others when I dont completely understand them all the time myslef but hopefully finding one more geared towards bipolar and understanding I can't just "snap out of it" will help a lot. Thanks again everyone!

Btw I'm not trying to be mean and say you're not doing anything at all. I just mean you have to be willing to do whatever you have to do for the sake of your family at least. That's just how I feel. Sorry if it came out meanly.

Also many people live med free. I cannot live without meds but you might be able to if its something you want to try. But you NEED to be in therapy in that case so you can learn coping skills and techniques to help you when you're in an episode.

Good luck to you, I hope you are able to find peace.

No not at all flowerchild. I understand what you're saying completely

Get all the therapy and meds you can. I was in the same boat as her and it pushed me and my kids away..we have a son together. I couldn't deal with hie outbursts anymore and I believed it was unhealthy for me and the kids to go through that. He would break stuff and throw stuff around us, cuss..get really angry over the smallest things

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I had extreme anger issues when I was younger. As a teenager I was constantly yelling and screaming and slamming doors. The slamming doors was my thing and I did so I into my 20s. But since I've been on the Trileptal, not so much. I'm still human and get mad, but no where to the degree that I used to. I lost many friendships because of it.

I had a lot of anger issues when I was unmedicated. Im so much better on abilify