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#1
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Hey guys,
I have been more manic than depressed and I have been taking Lamictal for a couple months now and I find that I sometimes skip a dose or two to see if I can become manic for that high on life feeling that I get. Does anyone else do this? I feel like I am addicted to being manic. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
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#2
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I do tend to feel addicted to the euphoria of my mania, but the thing is that , for me, it never stays that way. It very quickly unravels to an unpleasant state of dysphoria. I posted earlier about how my current mania has morphed into the irritation, agitation, rage, insomnia, anxiety, racing thoughts, etc. This part of it is always a living hell for me! If I don't get stabilized asap I know my pattern is to become out of my head, out of control & it has landed me in the hospital before. SO I'm concerned and trying to be proactive about it.
I know the euphoria can really seduce you but you may want to re think trying to induce mania. It isn't always as pleasant as it first seems (in my experience) and it IS like an addiction. It's also unhealthy like one, so please be careful. I also feel super creative when I'm in that euphoric phase, but what I tend to forget is that my racing thoughts also kill my chances at getting anything, including my writing, done. The truth is that everything I've ever completed with my writing and other creative endeavors I've only been able to finish when I was stabilized. So the reality is that mania actually DOESN"T make me more creative. I just feel that way. It's an illusion really. Although I completely understand wanting to feel that happy and alive all the time. The lows are so low I feel like it'll never end so when I'm high on my dopamine, I want it to last forever. I wish you luck. Tempting fate never works out for me though. |
#3
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If I skip a dose of lamictal it doesn't make me swing much ... that could be because my mood is on the low side.
Hypomania is great for me. Mania is hell - it's destructive, impulsive and always ends in disaster. |
#4
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Ah... if I could live in hypomania I'd sign up for it...well, I'd sign up for getting out of depression on a regular basis.
I don't skip meds on purpose anymore; I seem to manage to skip them accidentally too often. I live in terror of missing medication, The only self-medication I do is with coffee. |
#5
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As for inducing mania, it would probably take a week, or more of no meds to be induced. If I miss 2 days of medications I don't feel any difference, just harder to sleep. |
#6
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I've never experience a mood change after skipping a dose, maybe because I'm at 300mg? Only when I miss 2 days does my mind go crazy hurt. After a few months, are you still dosing up to a target therapeutic dosage? You are not alone in the manic addiction...it would be great if there was no depression. I prefer to be hypo myself. |
#7
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Ah, yes, coffee...my last real vice...I'll never quit. Hehe ![]() |
#8
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If I'm being totally honest I quit meds for one reason only: ED. However, I find now I fare equally well if not better on nothing than on anything I ever took (except for one that was just waaaay to much fun to be theraputic, ifg you know what I mean). My goal now is to learn more about how all my symptoms work together and treat my mind as a whole rather than addressing one symptom at a time, preferably via CBT or some other treatment not based in a pill. There are always unexpected synergies among meds for me so I dread taking more than one at a time but only taking one doesn't address the myriad symptoms I experience. Sorry for the long post, I just want to be clear I don't think going med free is for everyone but there is lots of evidence to suggest that therapy is more effective than medication and both are more effective than either one by itself. I love being hypomanic right up until I start getting that "potential head explosion" feeling from the pressure of all the racing thoughts and directionless energy. I can't control onset the way you can or I might do the same. The thing you need to remember, imo, is that the reason you need treatment at all is because these symptoms affect your ability to have a normally functioning daily life. If you mess with your meds, you can negatively impact this goal.
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#9
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i've done it before. When I was first dx'ed a couple of years ago, I had experienced an amazing manic high. I wanted that back. I ****ed with my meds by only taking the antidepressant instead of the mood stabilizer as well, or going off the antipsychotic, or quitting everything altogether. Every time it ended with me being hospitalized. It was the last time I did it, April 2014, that made me stop. I ended up psychotic and paranoid that people could read my thoughts and were trying to kill me. It was terrifying. Since then I've never done anything to mess things up again, even though lord knows I've wanted to. The hypomania is great, but when it goes into mania for me, it's a wrap. And unfortunately we are unable to control whether it stays a happy hypo or goes into a nasty mania. And even if you don't get full blown manic episodes, hypo episodes can turn irritable and ragey. I just can't take that chance anymore. It's like a drug addict who has quit for their family; it's not worth the possible consequence. I can't do that to my son.
I would advise against messing up your meds on purpose.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
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