[cashart10]

I am SO mad at my husband right now. I am rarely mad at him. He says jerkish things, does things that are mean and they hurt my feelings, but I don't become angry, they roll off of my back. Well, tonight he was so inconsiderate that it just made me irate. I ripped him a new one and I am fuming. He called me irrational. I'm not irrational, I'm angry. I explained this to him. I'm tired of all of his sarcastic little jabs; I'm tired of crying when he says things like "well, if you'd just drop a few lbs," or, "if you'd just get your lazy *** up and do something." Well, now that I am taking only one med, I have dropped 7 lbs already, now that I am taking only 1 med, I am off of the couch. I am back to myself. He doesn't have anything to jab at. So, instead, he decides he can just disregard something important to me for a damn football game after committing something differently to me...without even asking.

I forgot what it is like to feel this much anger. The only time in the last few years I've been angry, I have also been manic and entirely out of control. It is not fun. I do not enjoy feeling angry at all. I just want him to feel the way that I feel. I just wish he would see how ****ing mean and inconsiderate he can be. I just want to let it roll off of my back but, now that he is going to a football game all day Saturday instead of helping me prepare for my daughter's second birthday party (he is supposed to be touching up paint, hanging a collage, moving around his workout equipment, chopping down a pile of weeds in the back, hanging closet doors, and just helping me get everything in order), I am super anxious that my house will not come together. And, I'm sure I will feel that way until the party is here next weekend. I am so pissed! I think maybe I am an angry individual and meds just made me such a damn zombie that I forgot what it was like. Grrrrrrr!

[wildflowerchild25]

It must be nice to feel emotions that aren't part of BP again, even though it's not fun to be angry.

I'm sorry your husband is still treating you badly. I have no advice. I just hope somehow it gets better for you.

[raspberrytorte]

What's your husband's problem? Has he always been this way?

[BipolaRNurse]

I'm sorry he's being an asshat. You don't deserve that. Nobody does. He needs to be put in his place. Is there anyone who'll tell him the truth about himself and make him think about what he's doing to you? You need someone to intervene here, I think.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

It must be nice to feel emotions that aren't part of BP again, even though it's not fun to be angry.

I'm sorry your husband is still treating you badly. I have no advice. I just hope somehow it gets better for you.

It is nice to feel emotions outside of Bipolar. It is overwhelming for me to be moved to cry or yell or jump up and down at things that deserve these reactions. I am so much less absorbed in my thoughts and much more task focused than I have been in some time. I had no idea how much I'd been missing and I'm still not sure what drug was causing what. I am still an airhead though, ha! I am an emotional person generally and regulating these emotions as I am experiencing them is proving difficult. I don't wish to complain about that part though as it is sooo worth it.

I am sorry for you to hear me complain about my husband. It makes me sad for you. My husband has a big heart and he is there for me but he is a harsh man in many regards. I love him and our relationship is a lasting one because it is strong and perservering. I am forgiving of him as he is forgiving of me. God knows I'm not perfect. I was also venting, strongly. I obviously can't vent about him to him and I don't like to vent about my husband to my family and friends because I don't want to impact their judgement of him. I don't know why he did this but it makes me furious. I will get over it though and I know that the party will be fine whether or not everything gets done. That however, is not the point. Anyway, thank you for your support. If I could give you a real hug, I would!

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by raspberrytorte

What's your husband's problem? Has he always been this way?

He is harsh...always has been. But, it has gotten so much worse in the last year or so. He is under tremendous financial stress and doesn't handle it well. Plus, my being as unwell as I was for as long as I was (and everything that went with that) has had a major impact on him also. I should have known from the start that he had potential to be so harsh. His dad is the meanest, harshest man I have ever known. But, my husband really is nothing like his dad in perspective. I love him very much and he has a good heart and he is good to me for the most part, he just really, really needs to get a hold of his tongue--that is the most hurtful.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by BipolaRNurse

I'm sorry he's being an asshat. You don't deserve that. Nobody does. He needs to be put in his place. Is there anyone who'll tell him the truth about himself and make him think about what he's doing to you? You need someone to intervene here, I think.

Thank you. The only person who would intervene, I think, is my best friend. However, she has made comments rudely to him in the past as she is very defensive of me so he will only take her opinion with a grain of salt. They get along for the most part but she is very opinionated and they disagree about much.

I don't tell my mom everything he says. I am her daughter and I want her to love him like a son. But, he isn't a son so the same kind of unconditional love that is offered to me, whether she wants to or not, will not be offered to him. If she knew some of the things he said to me, it would greatly upset her. I am a parent, I know this. Beyond that, I do tell her SOME of the hurtful things he says to me and she usually defends him. She thinks they are mean and doesn't think he should say the things he says the way that he says them but she always tries to get me to see things from his perspective. With the overweight comments, she reminds me that he wants me to be healthy. This is true, he just doesn't express that well. With my illness, she reminds me how hard it is to see someone extrememly independent become dependent and on top of that, to see her entire persona and level of functioning change. It is very hard to handle, I would imagine.

My sister is a great ear, but she won't intervene unless it is REALLY bad. That is just her nature. That is my nature. That is the nature of my family. Things have gotten better as I have gotten better but when he told me that yesterday it just enraged me. Maybe it isn't that big of a deal, or at least maybe is SHOULDN'T be that big of a deal. But, he knows me and knew it woud upset me and he knows he should be keeping a committment to me. I am still holding out hope that he will change his mind. Like I said, he does have a big heart even though he is sometimes an idiot.

Vent away. You need to say it to someone. This is a good place.

[Capriciousness]

Hey Cash I hate to hear you so upset. It does sound like he is being a major dickwad. You don't deserve that. As Valentina said vent away!

[Sesiley]

Oh my lord! He has no respect for you whatsoever. Don't give him an slack and make sure you tell him how you feel...

Say..."I feel..." and continue the covers at ions with that. That will help.

He is being immature and inconsiderate and only thinking about himself. Your daughter's Birthday is MORE IMPORTANT than a stupid sport...

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G750A using Tapatalk

[wiretwister]

I will take the devil side cash ... I love you dearly you know that ...but you were not "well" for a long time ... it may take time for him to see that you have changed ... habits learned take a long time to change ... Try to bear up as best you can ... and please vent here anytime you need too ...love you hun ...

[GemmaTeller]

It is good to find support and outlets outside of the relationship. However, if you find you are not listenining to each other, hurting each other, etc. and can't find a way to manage it together in a healthy way, it might be worth seeking the assistance of couples counselor. That neutral third party can sometimes help with perspective and provide tools for better communication. Just a thought if it is possible.