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  #26  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 06:03 PM
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mathrye mathrye is offline
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These PC boards are pretty safe place to share if you think it would help to talk about what happened. I really think that most of us don't have any room to judge. xD

Glad to hear that nobody is in danger currently, and we'll all root for you staying safe. I hope you can find the information or peace that will help you recover from whatever you experienced.

Like Homeira said, we all deserve to forgive ourselves. It takes time and is easier said than done. But you do deserve it.
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  #27  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 06:39 PM
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My cat got seriously hurt because of me. It wasn't my intent, exactly. I feel horrible and basically went into shock afterward and got all hysterical, crying. :/

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  #28  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 07:10 PM
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BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
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It sounds like you feel extremely guilty and horrified about this but you also say it wasn't your intent. So is it really guilt that you should feel or maybe just the horror and sadness and other emotions? I know for me sometimes feeling guilty is much easier than feeling other things and so I choose guilt when it isn't the most productive or accurate response.
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  #29  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 07:11 PM
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...it wasn't my intent but I didn't stop until it was too late (semi accident) but then I fixed the situation

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  #30  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 07:11 PM
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Rosegirl22 Rosegirl22 is offline
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So yes I'd say guilt. Also scared for what it might mean

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  #31  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 07:16 PM
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BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
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But again, you said not stopping it was at least partially an accident. And feeling guilt for something you couldn't control in part or in whole isn't real guilt.
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  #32  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 08:18 PM
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mathrye mathrye is offline
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It sounds like some pretty rough things happened, and my heart goes out to you for a difficult experience.

I want to let you know that, unfortunately, I can relate to the semi-accident -- and it can be a difficult thing to cope with, especially immediately after. I'll begin something with the best of intent, and partway through realize that what I'm doing is actually hurtful/destructive/etc. At some point I'll bail out or backpedal, but I have a lot of hard questions for myself afterward. When did I realize that I was doing something wrong? Did I stop as soon as I could have? Feeling as though I must have pushed ahead wrongfully willfully.

It's haunting when things turn sour, and I'm sure that of hurting a pet adds another level of emotional pain. I'm sorry that this is scary as you try to understand what it means for your future.

There are things that you've done that are good. You fixed the situation. You know that it went horribly wrong. You've understood that this has implications for the future, and you grasp the gravity of the situation. I know you're reeling right now, but I have faith that you'll move in the right directions. Hang in there, Rosegirl

-:- M
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>>Dx - manic-depressive (BP1)
>> Rx daily:
Seroquel/Quetiapine Fumarate
Lamotrigine/Lamictal
>>PRN:
Ambien/Zolpidem for acute insomnia
Ativan/Lorazepam for anxiety or hypomania
Thanks for this!
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  #33  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 08:58 PM
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Victoria'smom Victoria'smom is offline
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Rose from what I know everything is okay now. Your not bad or anything for what you did. Since it did scare you you need to talk about that. Scaring oneself is the hardest thing I've had to deal with. A good therapist wont shy away from topics like that even if it makes them uncomfortable. They may want you in partial hospitalization until they become more comfortable with your issues and you've learned when to reach out for help even if it's after the fact. Not all therapists will send you to the hospital for being you. As long as they know stuff like this happens and somehow you make it through. They may ask to try mess to calm undesirable behavior /thoughts but it's more about learning not to act on thoughts and reconising when negative thoughts are there before you unwillingly act on them.
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  #34  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 09:28 PM
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Thank you. I haven't been to a therapist in over a year and need to find a good one that takes my insurance.

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  #35  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 09:36 PM
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99 FAIRIES 99 FAIRIES is offline
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Why are you so afraid to tell us what happened? There is no judgement and its confidential.
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  #36  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 09:37 PM
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It's of courses up to you... Just curious.
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  #37  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 10:08 PM
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wiretwister wiretwister is offline
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a psychopath feels no remorse, so I know you are not one ... the rest of us ,you included ,are human ... we feel others (even animals) pain ... and if we cause it , accidental or otherwise it can destroy us if we let it ... being human means just that .. we are frail creatures ... we make mistakes ... we get mad ... even sometimes destructive ... but we also love and care and support even nuture ...

the most important lesson we can learn is to forgive ourselves ... and to love ourselves .... sometimes we feel unworthy but we really are worthy ,,, worthy of peace and love in our lives... the only action we can not forgive ourselves for is taking our own life ... because that pain we cause .. we are unable to be sorry for it ... to express remorse ....any thing less than that we should .. no we must forgive ourselves ..

If you feel you maybe a danger to yourself or others please take action to ensure all are safe ... and take care of yourself ... remember you are loved faults and all ,..Tigger ..
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  #38  
Old Sep 21, 2015, 01:03 AM
MiddayNap MiddayNap is offline
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I am confused...In a state of frustration, did disciplinary action become potentially harmful?
When I was younger, I would get so unbearably angry and annoyed. Once, I scolded my dog so harshly-no beating or anything horrid like that-he ran straight to my parents room and hid trembling beneath their bed. I felt so guilty, I gave him a nice piece of meat and let him know I meant no harm. He cowered at the sight of me. I've never felt a more painful heartache. He forgave me later that night, luckily.
Was it sort of like that?
  #39  
Old Sep 21, 2015, 04:46 AM
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Rosegirl22 Rosegirl22 is offline
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No I wasnt mad at all

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  #40  
Old Sep 21, 2015, 04:47 AM
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Rosegirl22 Rosegirl22 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wiretwister View Post
a psychopath feels no remorse, so I know you are not one ... the rest of us ,you included ,are human ... we feel others (even animals) pain ... and if we cause it , accidental or otherwise it can destroy us if we let it ... being human means just that .. we are frail creatures ... we make mistakes ... we get mad ... even sometimes destructive ... but we also love and care and support even nuture ...

the most important lesson we can learn is to forgive ourselves ... and to love ourselves .... sometimes we feel unworthy but we really are worthy ,,, worthy of peace and love in our lives... the only action we can not forgive ourselves for is taking our own life ... because that pain we cause .. we are unable to be sorry for it ... to express remorse ....any thing less than that we should .. no we must forgive ourselves ..

If you feel you maybe a danger to yourself or others please take action to ensure all are safe ... and take care of yourself ... remember you are loved faults and all ,..Tigger ..
I'm safe. Not suicidal or anything.

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  #41  
Old Sep 21, 2015, 04:47 AM
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Rosegirl22 Rosegirl22 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wiretwister View Post
a psychopath feels no remorse, so I know you are not one ... the rest of us ,you included ,are human ... we feel others (even animals) pain ... and if we cause it , accidental or otherwise it can destroy us if we let it ... being human means just that .. we are frail creatures ... we make mistakes ... we get mad ... even sometimes destructive ... but we also love and care and support even nuture ...

the most important lesson we can learn is to forgive ourselves ... and to love ourselves .... sometimes we feel unworthy but we really are worthy ,,, worthy of peace and love in our lives... the only action we can not forgive ourselves for is taking our own life ... because that pain we cause .. we are unable to be sorry for it ... to express remorse ....any thing less than that we should .. no we must forgive ourselves ..

If you feel you maybe a danger to yourself or others please take action to ensure all are safe ... and take care of yourself ... remember you are loved faults and all ,..Tigger ..
My family is safe too I'd have hurt them

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