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  #1  
Old Sep 19, 2015, 05:47 AM
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xxblackrosesxx xxblackrosesxx is offline
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I was far too manic to the point of buying lots of alcohol and downing it. I was gone and sick. Now I'm paying for it. My parents got rid of my laptop. I have to save up again for a new one. My mother keeps coming into my room. Calling me selfish, coward etc. I've already tried to take an overdose of one of my tablets and self harmed using a safety pin.I'm such a mess...I just want to die.
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Bipolar affective disorder 2
Possible cptsd not yet dx
Seroquel 300mg
Lithium 600mg
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  #2  
Old Sep 19, 2015, 01:33 PM
Row Jimmy Row Jimmy is offline
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I'm a big advocate (almost annoyingly so) of not drinking if diagnosed with any form of BP. I quit about 6 months ago and it has done wonders for me. Don't get me wrong - I *like* to drink and could roll with the best of them in my time. But those days are done. I now know it doesn't help me so I don't do it.

Looking back, I can now correlate my binges to being manic. I just didn't know at the time I was BP. Alcohol just added to my anger and frustration when I crashed too. As someone with BP, now I just call quitting part of my treatment plan. Plus, I don't feel like I need to "keep up" with society anymore because alcohol is the social lubricant. That's also a plus - I don't spin myself in circles trying to keep up with my "friends" and that holds down the mania. Bonus!

It has been a tremendous relief to me to have moved away from alcohol and I don't miss any of it. Being sober gives me clarity of thought. Please consider it.

Good luck - please stay well and rock on, Sister Rose.
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baseline, LettinG0
  #3  
Old Sep 19, 2015, 02:52 PM
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vjdragonfly vjdragonfly is offline
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blackrosesMaybe you need to talk your Mom into taking you to the hospital, if she won't you can always call the police and explain your situation and they can take you. I know it sounds horrible but if you are already attempting sui, then I think you need an intervention of some sort. First rule to me being bipolar, take care of yourself.
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Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~ Dr. Seuss
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Homeira
  #4  
Old Sep 19, 2015, 03:47 PM
nowIgetit nowIgetit is offline
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oh my gosh big hugs, if you don't have family support I agree with going to the hospital or calling a friend to take you, trying to overdose is serious as you know...at least get out of the house with someone you can trust to "watch" you and get away from your mom for a few days?
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dx BPII with mixed features/rapid cycling. currently on lamictal 200 mg/day for maintenance, and after a bout of postpartum depression recently am (hopefully temporarily) also on seroquel XR 50 mg/day, xanax as needed.
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Homeira
  #5  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 12:46 AM
slave_2010 slave_2010 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxblackrosesxx View Post
I was far too manic to the point of buying lots of alcohol and downing it. I was gone and sick. Now I'm paying for it. My parents got rid of my laptop. I have to save up again for a new one. My mother keeps coming into my room. Calling me selfish, coward etc. I've already tried to take an overdose of one of my tablets and self harmed using a safety pin.I'm such a mess...I just want to die.


You're drowning in pain and you don't have anyone there for you...I feel so badly for you, there's no words to describe that place your in...but lve been there, I wish I could say something that would make it better. I will say this. Your parents don't understand and its leading them to say somethings so the opposite, you are BRAVE. Your trying desperately to get through it, and THEIR selfishness in not doing more to try to help is actually making you MORE brave.


Just don't give up, it will get better. It may take a while, but it will...you can be happy in life, you will be, one day. For now, just keep going, you need to, you can. Don't deny yourself a chance to be loved and special to the right person or people by taking yourself out.


I pray for you hope and that light at the end of the tunnel comes soon.
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  #6  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 09:01 AM
BastetsMuse BastetsMuse is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: Carson City
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I'm sorry your parents aren't there for you, but we are. We know how you feel and we surely hope you reach out to someone who will help you.
  #7  
Old Sep 20, 2015, 10:00 AM
xxblackrosesxx's Avatar
xxblackrosesxx xxblackrosesxx is offline
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Location: England
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nowIgetit View Post
oh my gosh big hugs, if you don't have family support I agree with going to the hospital or calling a friend to take you, trying to overdose is serious as you know...at least get out of the house with someone you can trust to "watch" you and get away from your mom for a few days?
i'm staying with a friend for a few days. Already packed my suitcase and going far away with her. Just want to get out of this place
I'm already having nightmares. This is not fun at all.
__________________
Bipolar affective disorder 2
Possible cptsd not yet dx
Seroquel 300mg
Lithium 600mg
Propranolol 30mg
Hugs from:
Homeira
Thanks for this!
nowIgetit
  #8  
Old Sep 24, 2015, 02:19 PM
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s4ndm4n2006 s4ndm4n2006 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by xxblackrosesxx View Post
i'm staying with a friend for a few days. Already packed my suitcase and going far away with her. Just want to get out of this place
I'm already having nightmares. This is not fun at all.
I'm sorry I didn't read this sooner hun. I didn't know all the details of what is going on *massive hugs*
  #9  
Old Sep 24, 2015, 03:09 PM
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Homeira Homeira is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Bergen
Posts: 755
Hang in there sweetheart This too shall pass. It migth be hard for you to see through all the hardships rigth now, but it will get better. Life has a lot to offer, you are young and have a lot of wonderful things waiting in your future. But rigth now you need to take care of yourself. Try to get enough to eat, enough to drink (not alcohol!!!), and take your meds. Your parents must be in complete denial about your illness, and the messages you are getting at home are toxic. So I think you made a really good decition by going to stay with a friend. Going inpatient migth be a good idea, if that is possible. I hope your stay with your friend will give you a little peace of mind rigth now
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