How many of you can hold down a job? How long did you work for before you became unable to?

I feel extreme guilt for not working more, but throughout my illness I have always tried to at least work part time. I do a lot of volunteer work too.

Yet I dont feel proud as I would if I could work full time.

If not working how do you support yourself? Is this a major stressor?

[Raindropvampire]

been here 14 years. Got lucky this position came up because it's just me locked in here for the most part. I can cry, play games here, putter around and still get done with what I need to. But to be honest I could not have an easier job and because of the job I have 0% quality of life. Just getting out of bed and coming here takes EVERYTHING I can muster and there's nothing left for me. I jsut don't know how not to work even though I KNOW I need to quit.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm on disability because of that I receive a small amount for food, medical and rent assistance. With this help we're able to focus on our son. I "make up" for it by homeschooling my son ($8344 saved per student + sn allowence + free lunch) volunteering at homeschooling Co ops. So I view myself as his 1:1 teacher and I take that very seriously. After he finishes school I plan to continue volunteering at the co-ops. After all our bills are paid we have about $50 a week for, gas, household stuff and extras.

What extras you ask: $30 a month archery $28 month for Friday pizza party @ community center, $10 for karate, $15 for bathing and sanitary products and the rest in gas to get to appointments, Co ops, and other places. It's stressful when an unexpected bill comes up but other than that I know I have a roof, internet, food and my meds every month so it's not as stressful as one would think.we're able to find free/low cost activities for my son 3 days a week and have appointments the other 2 days. Usually we're only at home /awake from 6 pm -10pm except for weekends.

[ggtina]

No I do not work. I'm single with no kids on disability through the va for bipolar and ptsd and bpd going to school full time currently. I decided to enroll in school last time i was manic and now its hitting me like a ton of bricks i am trying to atleast finish out this semester.

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[Ripose]

I have not had a real job since 1993 where I had worked full time for 13 years. I have tried a few part-time jobs since than but nothing ever works out anymore.
I get by on disability of about $1600 with medications, dental, eye glasses, and ground ambulance all completely covered for both me and my wife. Also my wife works part-time and makes about $1500 per month. Plus I am allowed to earn an extra $400 myself, that is if I could ever find a job that I could function at.
If we didn't smoke we could live quite contently.

[lunaticfringe]

I recently got approved for disability and have not worked for a little less than a year now. I am ashamed about it even though I really need the help. I don't think I can work right now. Every day is a ****ing rollercoaster when I'm home alone so I don't think I could manage a job.

I work part time. It's in my field and it uses my degree. It helps me a lot, in terms of staying busy and how I feel about myself.
I had been offered a full time position at the same agency but I couldn't hack it because it triggered a manic state. My work was nice enough to let me go back part time, and I plan on doing so for as long as I can. I have my husband's income which helps, but yes, only working part time puts a financial strain on our household.

[gina_re]

I've been at my current job for two and a half years. I love this place and don't plan on leaving anytime soon. Plus I telecommute three days out of the week, and you can't beat that! My previous job I was there four years. That job was ok, but after two years of it, I was so over it. But then again I was in school while I was working there, and it was a cool job to have while in school because it wasn't too exhausting.
I attribute being able to keep a job for several years to being stable. Before these jobs I would be all over the place. I would job hop like crazy. Then again it's also about finding the right job, which is not easy.
I also have to support myself. I don't really have anyone to fall back on. My mom is a wreck and my sister is no better. My dad lives in California and I doubt I'd move all the over there. Plus I have bills to pay and I want to keep everything I have so I have to make it work.
Everyone is different, so those who do, those who don't, those who are on disability makes no difference. We all struggle one way or the other.

[Azvixxen]

I honestly don't know how I do it - but I have worked all of my adult life except for one really bad year about 8 years ago where I couldn't leave the house.

I work in Human Resources on the staffing side, so I get a lot of alone time in my office and my interactions are typically with people I know and respect. I've been at my current location for just over a year. I have moments, hours, days where I just can't cope and that is when I shut my door or call in sick. I have been lucky enough to space them out enough that people think I just have bad luck with getting sick.

I just recently came off of a 3 month leave of absence however, because I felt like I was losing control. New meds and an actual correct BP I diagnosis helped but I still feel like I am "pretending" when I am at work.

I can imagine not working comes with guilt - I had it while I was on leave. But there is a subtle balancing act that comes with working and it is not an easy one to maintain at all times. I often feel like no one here knows the "real" me, that I am pretending all day long to be happy and outgoing. Unless the mania is taking over, and then I AM happy and outgoing!

In summation - work is a juggling act. It's stressful and sometimes harmful. Do what works for YOU and your situation.

I've been working on and off back and forth over the last 10 years. All my experience has been in retail but I only like the night shift as a stock person because of the pay differential. Unfortunately I can't do that right now. When I was doing that over the summer, because of lack of sleep, I think that's a big part of what triggered my manic episode. But fortunately my husband who I've been with for nine years has a steady good paying job and can take care of our family even if I don't work. I really don't like not working though. I like feeling productive and making my own money.

[ozzy1313]

Always worked. I work evenings now and the long days of being at home alone are AWFUL for me. Interviewing for a day job today- same job at the school I had a year ago, but am afraid they will start me back at entry pay so not sure I even want it. There is another job I applied for that I do want, but the listing doesn't close for a week so am fearing the job today will place an offer and I won't even have a chance at the other.

[mom2trips+1]

I worked for 19 yrs but had to quit last December due to BP. I had three jobs over those 19 yrs but all ended due to hospitalizations/absences. Luckily, I had purchased a Long term disability policy in my 20's so I live on that and Social Security Disability and my husband works. I feel very fortunate to have these funds every month. I had ECT and it caused a lot of memory loss that has not gotten better so I am not sure if/when I will return to work.

[faerie_moon_x]

I work full time. I have been at my job for almost 8 years. I'm the only person in the company who really knows how to do my job, and my job requires a lot of talking on the phone and calling people (which I hate.) It gets harder and harder all the time.

But, I don't want to go on disability. My mother-in-law went on disability when she was 36 for her bipolar(same age I am now.) She makes $900 a month before Medicare and Rx coverage so only gets about $750 to live on. Her husband abandoned her when she went on disability. She ended up homeless and now lives with us, which is really hard because she's terrible with her tiny amount of money and doesn't buy herself any groceries and basically only pays us enough to have tv service. The world is not set up for people who do not have some sort of support system.

I don't think it's shameful to need disability, but I do think that people who don't know the reality of it and think disability is a "free ride" are idiots. Where I live a 1 bedroom apartment is $800 a month. The disability housing list you have to wait 3 years just to get your application on the list, then it's first come first serve and they don't make any exception for emergencies. This is part of the reason so many people with MI are homeless.

I havent worked for 6 yrs. i get about 725$/ mnth for disability. Fortunately my fiance has a good job with benefits so everything is covered.

I found i could hold a job better prior to dx but looking back wasnt the most reliable to a degree but i was assistant manager for 5 years in one job and manager for 6 years at another. Had a child in between.

After dx i had multiple jobs that i couldnt hold, went back to school, worked in that field got injured on job and my personal life was a mess.

I wish i could work and is a goal but whenever i think about it or talk about the reality of it i slip down and shut down and panic as i know im not ready.

I would like to work as i feel an emptiness a lack of sense of purpose useless every negative thing under the sun. Would working fix that? Idk.

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by Supanova

How many of you can hold down a job? How long did you work for before you became unable to?

I worked for 15 years after getting my bipolar diagnosis, then I went on disability. I believe that going off my meds was a direct lead-in to needing to go on disability; my bipolar got that much worse, you see, while I was unmedicated.

So now I collect disability and my husband works.

[Blue_Bird]

I'm on disability, I'm 21 but I hope to eventually get at least a part time job even if it's not a career so I can become more social

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I worked for 11 years but it was a battle the whole time. I was out on disability 3 or 4 times for significant time periods and changed jobs frequently. For a while I cut back to 32 hours but work kept demanding 40 hours of work be done in that 32 hours so it just didn't work out. The last job I had was the best and it nearly killed me to stop. I've been on disability for almost 4 years now.

[raspberrytorte]

I work full time. I've been at the same place going on eleven years now.

[WibblyWobbly]

I've been on disability since my suicide attempt last September. I've had 6 IP and 3 partial hospitalizations since last June. Every time I hit a good stretch and think I'm ready to start looking again the sht hits the fan. I was at each of my last 3 jobs for just under a year but employed pretty much continuously for 18 years.

[Mountainbard]

The longest I've ever been able to hold a job is 4 years. Typically a year to a year and a half is more like it. I'm not working now due to a long spell of severe depression. We get by on my wife's income. It is a major stressor because I feel like I should be contributing. I know it's the depression that's holding me back, but I still feel guilty sometimes.

[BipolaRNurse]

I was a nurse for 19 years but never could hang on to a job longer than a couple of years. I wasn't diagnosed with bipolar until I was 53 and by that time it had already damaged my career. I wound up on disability this past April because I can't work anymore, either mentally or physically. It's sad; I was once a good nurse, but on top of the bipolar I was burned out.

[wildflowerchild25]

I've been working part time since I was seventeen and full time for the last four years. This wis my fourth year teaching. Before that I was a one to one aid for a girl with developmental disabilities.

When I was 19 I went on disability at my grandmother's behest because I couldn't work at the time. I stayed on in while I went to school but kept working a few hours a week. When I got my full time job I got off of disability. I hope I will never need it again but you never know. Last year I had to go on short term disability for three months. This was after a number of two week absences due to hospitalizations. My work is very understanding (probably because no teachers actually want to stay at my school).

[BleakGeek]

I've worked for 22 years. Fifteen of those years in IT. Three years ago I started going down hill fast. I didn't know what was going on. I would have these severe depression episodes. I couldn't function half the time. I would have episodes where I was blunted. I lost all interest in work. It got to the point where my boss gave me an altimatum. "You either work all weekend and get this fixed or your fired." When I came in on that Monday he asked me if it was fixed and I smiled and said no! Needless to say I was out of a job.

A guy I used to work with heard I was unemployed and he set up an interview with his wife's family's company. They brought me on board and I have been there ever since. They are so good to me I almost feel guilty. There are times I wish I didn't have to work but I am the family's sole income (plus I need to pay off all that debt from being hypo all those years). I worked it out with them so I can take days off if I have episodes.

[Wander]

I worked from age 13 (along with high school and uni) until I had my first breakdown at age 22. From 22 to 29 I was in and out of work depending on my mental health...mostly not able to work. From 29 to 32 I worked full time and thrived until another breakdown and Fibromyalgia (chronic pain and fatigue) stopped me in my tracks. For the next four years I spent many months in hospital as I was extremely mentally unwell and a constant danger to myself. Then I began to study and at age 37 I went back to casual work which is what I have been doing for the last two years. I have had three months off in those two years due to hospitalisations but thankfully work has been accepting and I have kept my job. Right now I am the best I have been in 7 years but still fragile so I have to have a lot of downtime to stay relatively well. I study one or two units a semester and work about 14 hours a week. That is still all I can handle right now, a far cry from when I was working full-time as a Case Manager but still a big step forwards. I am hoping to start my own photography business in about a year, all going well. With Bipolar it is so hard to predict how well I will be in the future so i take it a day at a time.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

I've never had. Job more than a year. My most recent one was an absolute disaster and I went manic on the job and blacked out. That was 6 months ago and I'm still laying in bed doing nothing g with myself. My boyfriend barely makes enough to pay the bills but I'm not ready yet. My family constantly calls me a loser because of this. Every day I deal with my asshole family then I come home to my own bed, back where I Always am. I wanted to look I to getting disability but that takes 2 years and I cant wait that long without income.