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#1
Oct 07, 2015, 03:58 PM
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I'm suffocating today. The last time I spoke with my pdoc about meds, he told me to go back to 600 MG of Lamictal if I started to feel unwell. I guess I will do it. I feel like rocking in the corner. I feel afraid. I have all of the kids here today and my husband asked me to please clean up the house which I haven't touched since we got back from vacation. I don't know how to do it. My youngest baby is sick and has a fever and slept on me all day until I had to pick up the others at 3:15. I just laid there all day, feeling like I couldn't move, completely sick inside. Now I don't know what to do. The kids keep talking to me and I feel sheepish, overwhelmed by their questions and conversation. I want to break glass. This cannot continue.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
 BastetsMuse, BeyondtheRainbow, BipolaRNurse, gina_re, Mountainbard, raspberrytorte, Shadesofdark, Victoria'smom, WibblyWobbly, wildflowerchild25
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#2
Oct 07, 2015, 05:15 PM
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To me it sounds like anxiety maybe? I get sick with anxiety and things seem impossible too, especially lately. Do you have an anxiety med?
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token "What if I can't get up and stand tall, What if the diamond days are all gone, and Who will I be when the Empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token |
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#3
Oct 08, 2015, 12:53 PM
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Could be anxiety. Yesterday I slept on and off with my sick baby girl until 3:30; mostly I just laid alone with my thoughts. I went to sleep for the night at 8:30 and slept until my youngest woke me up at 5. I finally got her back to sleep at 6 and slept until I had to get up to get my daughter ready for school at 7:20. I fell back asleep after I got eveyone off to school at around 8:30 but then my dad came over to spend the day with me and try to cheer me up. He came over at 9:30 and got me up to clean (he did most of it) and took me and my baby out for lunch. Now I am alone again. I can barely crack a smile. Today is my 10th wedding anniversary so I want to cheer up so I'm not such a drag for my husband. I finding it exceedingly difficult.
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***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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#4
Oct 08, 2015, 01:03 PM
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Listening to the Beach Boys - Surfin USA on repeat trying to cheer myself up but I find myself crying instead.
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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#5
Oct 08, 2015, 01:21 PM
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Did you increase the lamictal and/or call your pdoc? Sounds like it is definitely time for both.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
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#6
Oct 08, 2015, 04:22 PM
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Happy anniversary!
 I hope it has been a good 10 years and you can think back to all the good times you've had. |
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#7
Oct 08, 2015, 09:41 PM
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Quote:
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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#8
Oct 08, 2015, 09:42 PM
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Quote:
__________________
***** Every finger in the room is pointing at me I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now Tori Amos ~ Crucify Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder |
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#9
Oct 08, 2015, 10:24 PM
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Glad you were able to start the meds and hope the pdoc has good answers when he calls back. It always feels good (afterward) to know you caught the thing changing at the beginning and STOPPED IT. Doesn't happen often for me but I've savored the times it has.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, GAD, OCD. Clozapine 250 mg, Emsam 12 mg/day patch, topamax 25 mg, ,Gabapentin 1600 mg & 100-2 PRN,. 2.5 mg clonazepam., 75 mg Seroquel and 12.5 mg PRNx2 daily |
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