[cashart10]

Being zealous for God in me now equals mental illness and not great faith. It makes me perpetually sad. I told my husband what I said last night, that the Holy Spirit likes water and that water wards off evil spirits, he said "no. Please don't start thinking like that again. I can't take it." If I ever asked to lay my hands on someone to pray for them, I would automatically be seen as a lunatic and not a caring vessel. I am feeling downhearted about this. I want this fire back. I want it back without the lunacy. I know the truth. It is written on my heart.

[cashart10]

Feeling nostalgic, low, high...buried.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Do you only think like this when you are manic? Are you manic now? Are you manic and telling yourself that you're not? I noticed a lot of your posts mention God or religion. If you're in fact okay as you have a strong faith then screw what others think. But if you tend to only think this way when you're manic then you should seek help and contact your pdoc.

Dx: BP2, PTSD, bulimia/anorexia
Seroquel 300mgs
Trileptal 300mgs
Buspar 45mgs
Ativan 1mg PRN
Vyvance 70mgs PRN

[cashart10]

Thank you! I have always had, since I can ever remember, a "child like faith." I am trying not to be overly explicit with my faith as I am aware this board is primarily secular. However, I have a GREAT faith, generally. Three years ago, I had a psychotic break. At that time, I became hyper religious. A true zealot...I was absolutely insane. I lost my faith after and I want it back. Yes, I am manic, and yes, I tend to fall hard for my faith as such, but I need to get back to a HEALTHY place and that is difficult when just believing worries everyone.

[sui generis]

That must be really hard to be religious but also have it come up when you're manic Is there a way for you to reconcile the two? Having it present in your MI but also knowing that it is true for you. There's a difference between thinking you're the chosen one (just an example lol) and praying for someone believing that the power of God will help them in some way. If your religious tendencies are getting in the way of your functioning then I'd worry about it, otherwise don't let having a MI tell you you're not strong in your faith.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Originally Posted by cashart10

Being zealous for God in me now equals mental illness and not great faith. It makes me perpetually sad. I told my husband what I said last night, that the Holy Spirit likes water and that water wards off evil spirits, he said "no. Please don't start thinking like that again. I can't take it." If I ever asked to lay my hands on someone to pray for them, I would automatically be seen as a lunatic and not a caring vessel. I am feeling downhearted about this. I want this fire back. I want it back without the lunacy. I know the truth. It is written on my heart.

I've layed hands several times without someone thinking I was crazy but I know what you mean.

Hope things shape up for you soon

[Victoria'smom]

Is your husband a believer?

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by cashart10

Being zealous for God in me now equals mental illness and not great faith.

" I want this fire back." I want it back without the lunacy." I know the truth" . It is written on my heart.

I am going to be brutal . please forgive me . almost all fanatics are acting off there "own selfish" desires and not the will of God ... "getting the fire back" is God's choice and his time to give ... to demand it for yourself is to presume upon God ... very close to blasphemy.... I mean you no harm and it is hard to see you suffer so much ... sometimes being a believer means waiting upon God and not getting in front of him ... search your heart and wait upon the "still calm voice" ...

And I can't relate at all, because I am an atheist. So, to me, you seem manic when you talk this way.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Originally Posted by wiretwister

I am going to be brutal . please forgive me . almost all fanatics are acting off there "own selfish" desires and not the will of God ... "getting the fire back" is God's choice and his time to give ... to demand it for yourself is to presume upon God ... very close to blasphemy.... I mean you no harm and it is hard to see you suffer so much ... sometimes being a believer means waiting upon God and not getting in front of him ... search your heart and wait upon the "still calm voice" ...

Yes! This!

[Mr.Arch-Vile]

I kinda know all to we'll about the "religious zealot" feeling. It's like manic mana, so tasty and pure.

Sadly there is no truth to be had, unless your truth can be shared and understood coherently by all you really have nothing.

You need to expand your outlook and shrug off some of the false magik they've tried convincing you of. It help to learn the roots of all religion by consulting ancient texts pre-dating the bible.

Other wise make sure your taking meds, and consult with your doctor. You may really want an adjustment.

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