[Nobodydifferent]

(There may be triggers in here and I can't figure out how to post that red thing ) I've been back and fourth with this and I don't know that answer .: I'm not sucidal I have sucidal ideation ..overwhelming yes I mean I drive down the road and happily imagine crashing into a tree .. This headache I have right now .. I would like to swallow 29 pills for and then slam my head against the cement .. But I won't kill myself I can't that's besides the point .. I'm miserable tho not wanting to live is taken the place of living .. But if I'm content with that and don't think it can be changed .. If I think my actual life is this .. Is there really any help .. Is it worth trying ? My therapist brought up admitting myself the other day but I said I was fine .. Then went home and cried all day and missed work the next .. I'm not fine I'm screwed up .. But is this more then normal ?

[BlossomingLen]

Hello! It's a pleasure to meet you. I see that you're new here! I'm new, as well.

But is this more then normal ?

I'm unsure as to what you mean when you say this. Do you want to know if other people feel the same way as you? If so, then yes, most definitely. Plenty of people on here are going through or have gone through really tough situations. Some people may even be able to relate to your situation you had written down in your introduction to these Forums. I don't relate, personally, but this place is designed for people to vent their frustrations, gain support, and support others. I think one thing we may connect on would be our depression but not for the same reasons, and we don't have the same struggles. But sometimes that's all that counts. The things that you described to us in this post is something I often do and I'm certain other people do. I really hope you're okay and that you make a lot of good friends on this site.

Thank you so much for reading. Have a wonderful day.

[LettinG0]

There is help. There is hope.

You should go to the hospital - especially if you are in danger of harming yourself.

[Nammu]

First, welcome to PC

If your therapist was concerned enough to think hospitalization was an option and you are not sure...call her back and discuss it, tell her it's scary and your uncertain but something needs to change...to start progress toward a better life.....even if it feels like life can't ever get better at this point. When feeling like your are feeling these impulses and you could in a moment act on that feeling of crashing into a tree even if you think you can't do it, impulsively. It's part of being bipolar.

I can't say wether or not you need the hospital but I encourage you to call yout T and listen to her. Right now it doesn't sound like your in a good place to be making serious desicions, let her help.

[Victoria'smom]

I wouldn't go to the hospital for this but that's me. I'd call your therapist and psychiatrist for an emergincy appointment. To see if hospitalization is needed.

I have been where you are. Thinking for sure I couldn't do it. I did try, the impulse took over I wasn't even aware of what I was doing. Please talk to someone your T pdoc or crisis hotline. If they suggest hospital GO! Please for yourself and those that love you go! Be honest, that is so very important.

Take care, there is a better life out there.

[HALLIEBETH87]

I'm glad you've found PC! Welcome!

Honey, with the feelings you're having-I can see hope and healing. I would consider the hospital myself. There IS hope! Go get help.

Let us know how you're doing when you get back! <3

[Unrigged64072835]

Welcome to PC.

I would agree with calling your therapist for another appointment. If you can't call a crisis line.

I know it feels awful right now but there is hope. It's not going to stay like this even though it feels like it.

[HALLIEBETH87]

How ya doing?

Just saw this thread and am wondering too. I hope you are getting help.

The place you describe is quite familiar, yes, and I was recently debating the very same thing, especially Thursday. It can be a hard call to make. Some people say that if you are wondering if you should go to the hospital, then you should. (I personally don't do that for a few reasons, among which are stubbornness and stupidity, so I'm not a good frame of reference. ).

Shawkat makes a very good point. Impulsivity can be a big problem. It deserves a place in your decision-making. Impulsivity is a REALLY big issue if you are agitated. If those are both going on, that is a very dangerous combination and you should go to the hospital.

If you still aren't sure, at the very minimum, go somewhere safe. Maybe it is a friend or relative's. Get rid of any problematic/tempting items (if it is meds, hand them over to someone trusted). Do not go anywhere you might feel an unhealthy draw to go to.

Really make a point to NOT be alone in times of crisis, even if that is what your mind suggests. It's not exactly trustworthy in times of crisis.

Please keep us posted. In the meanwhile, sending good thoughts your way.

If you know a nice hospital where you can self admit, and your insurance will cover it, I would consider checking yourself in. I'm lucky enough to be near a very nice hospital that I went to last year, and if I were feeling like you are I would personally self admit.
When you do that, you have a much easier time discharging yourself as well.