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Old Jan 10, 2016, 09:47 PM
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raspberrytorte raspberrytorte is offline
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I can not sit still. All day I've been pacing and cleaning and running around with a four year old.

I wish I could go to a park or run around the block, but it's freezing outside.

Maybe I'm just having restlessness from haldol.

But I take 1mg of cogentin a day for that. It sort of works I guess.

I like haldol and take it at night because it makes me sleepy and slurry and calms me down and and helps me sleep, since they took me mostly off of seroquel in the hospital.

But I'm afraid to completely stop taking the seroquel until I see my pdoc because I don't see her until february 1st, which seems a long time away. And when I went to court I signed this paperwork that said I need to stay on my meds and not drink or do drugs and keep all of my appointments and get a therapist, which I'm going to work on tomorrow.

I have a million people I need to call tomorrow, and I hate making phone calls. My phone sometimes has really bad reception and it's hard to hear people once in awhile. And I have to call my social worker and set up an appointment with him, but it sucks because it's almost a forty five minute drive to get to that courthouse. If we lived across the street I'd be able to go to the courthouse in town.

Last year at the end of january I had a really bad manic/mixed episode with psychosis and ended up in the hospital involuntarily. It was a torturous experience! I never want to experience anything like that again!

So, I guess the point of this is that I'm worried about having another mixed episode now.

When I had it last year though I was only on lamictal and clonazepam.

I always have this fear now that I'm going to go psychotic again.

Anyone else afraid of things like this?
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  #2  
Old Jan 10, 2016, 09:50 PM
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tbird20tv tbird20tv is offline
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Is there anyway you can call your pdoc? That would be my first call.

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  #3  
Old Jan 10, 2016, 09:51 PM
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jacky8807 jacky8807 is offline
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How did you end up court ordered? Did you refuse hospitalization?
I'm sorry you are still stuck in a cycle and I would call pdoc straight away
Taking away most of your seroquel could definitely do a few things to you as it has caused severe episodes for me in the past
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I used to rule the world
Seas would rise when I gave the word
Now in the morning, I sleep alone
Sweep the streets I used to own
I used to roll the dice
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes
Listen as the crowd would sing
Now the old king is dead! Long live the king!
One minute I held the key
Next the walls were closed on me
And I discovered that my castles stand
Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand
  #4  
Old Jan 10, 2016, 09:59 PM
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I had to go to court because of my overdose situation, and I just signed this settlement agreement where I have to do what I wrote above. Maybe it's different depending on what state you live in.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
  #5  
Old Jan 10, 2016, 10:15 PM
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BeyondtheRainbow BeyondtheRainbow is offline
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That sounds like it might be akathesia. The cogentin helps with that but in my experience not alone. (I had to be on gabapentin with it which you already are on but a pretty high dose. They also use propanolol I think.)

That feeling you have to keep moving sounds very familiar. Haldol is known for causing it. So maybe you need some more cogentin. I think I took 2 mg per day to control the akathesia when I used it for that (although that's a long time ago and I don't really remember).
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  #6  
Old Jan 11, 2016, 01:04 AM
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ComfortablyNumb5 ComfortablyNumb5 is offline
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The fact that you're running around, unable to sit still, cleaning and pacing worries me. It sounds a bit like you may be heading towards hypo. And after what you've been through I'm pretty surprised that your appointment is so far away! Especially with a med change! I think you need to call pdoc first thing in the morn. I'm very curious about this court ordered stuff. I've never heard of that but I'm sure the laws are different where you are. Why didn't you go to a IP? I understand you don't want to be there but after my attempts I had no choice. I've been there three times already and yea it's no vacation. But I really am worried about you. A lot of us are! Please take care of yourself and try and get some rest if you can and if you're still feeling bad when you wake up then call your pdoc please. Hugs!
  #7  
Old Jan 11, 2016, 07:45 AM
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I was IP. Where I live if you try to commit suicide you have to go to court, but sometimes the inpatient doctor can decide you don't need to go. Most of the time you have to go, usually it's scheduled at the end of your 72 hour old so you can go home after. Unless your inpatient pdoc doesn't think you're ready to leave. Most of the time you don't have to go before a judge, like I just talked to a couple of attorney people.
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The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
  #8  
Old Jan 11, 2016, 08:54 AM
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Thank god! I called my pdoc and got an appointment to see her wednesday afternoon. One call down, three more to make. Lol!
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
Hugs from:
BeyondtheRainbow, jacky8807
Thanks for this!
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  #9  
Old Jan 11, 2016, 10:27 AM
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Ocean Swimmer Ocean Swimmer is offline
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Congratulations. Write down some stuff to take with you to pdoc.
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  #10  
Old Jan 11, 2016, 11:45 AM
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cashart10 cashart10 is offline
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This is some thing I worry about every single day!!

I'm glad your pdoc moved up your appt! I hope you feel better soon!
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Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
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  #11  
Old Jan 11, 2016, 01:35 PM
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Hashi/bipolar mom Hashi/bipolar mom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raspberrytorte View Post
I was IP. Where I live if you try to commit suicide you have to go to court, but sometimes the inpatient doctor can decide you don't need to go. Most of the time you have to go, usually it's scheduled at the end of your 72 hour old so you can go home after. Unless your inpatient pdoc doesn't think you're ready to leave. Most of the time you don't have to go before a judge, like I just talked to a couple of attorney people.
This is what is wrong with our system. If you try to kill yourself, there is no reason to go to court. That is the last thing that should be on your mind. Getting healthy is the first priority and I don't need some judge deciding my fate! Please call your pdoc and get in as soon as you can. I hate when they put restriction on you but then don't take the necessary steps to make sure you are safe by having a psychiatric team on call for you. Hugs
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10mg Memantine (weaning off)
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Thanks for this!
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  #12  
Old Jan 11, 2016, 01:41 PM
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Hashi/bipolar mom Hashi/bipolar mom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by raspberrytorte View Post
Thank god! I called my pdoc and got an appointment to see her wednesday afternoon. One call down, three more to make. Lol!
Oh good! I'm so glad.
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Hashi/Bipolar Mom

300mg Lamictal
1800mg Gabapentin
10mg Memantine (weaning off)
.6mg Clonidine (for sleep and anxiety)
40mg Propanol (for sleep)
3 mg Xanax
10mg Saphris
  #13  
Old Jan 11, 2016, 04:20 PM
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raspberrytorte raspberrytorte is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hashi/bipolar mom View Post
This is what is wrong with our system. If you try to kill yourself, there is no reason to go to court. That is the last thing that should be on your mind. Getting healthy is the first priority and I don't need some judge deciding my fate! Please call your pdoc and get in as soon as you can. I hate when they put restriction on you but then don't take the necessary steps to make sure you are safe by having a psychiatric team on call for you. Hugs
Right. I agree.
__________________
The darkest of nights is followed by the brightest of days. 😊 - anonymous

The night belongs to you. 🌙- sleep token

"What if I can't get up and stand tall,
What if the diamond days are all gone, and
Who will I be when the Empire falls?
Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten." 😢 - sleep token
Hugs from:
Hashi/bipolar mom
  #14  
Old Jan 11, 2016, 09:14 PM
Anonymous37930
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It sounds like maybe a reaction to your antipsychotic? I had that reaction to risperdal, it was very uncomfortable even with a medication that is supposed to help it, like cogentin or propanol. Maybe they can lower your dose?
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