first day back

Tomorrow is my first day back to work after being out for three weeks.

I feel like I'm going to puke.

Luckily one of my coworkers already spread around the white lie as to what happened because of me. So I don't think anyone is going to ask any questions, and if they do I just plan on telling them I don't want to talk about it, which I really don't. Absolutely not!

Sometimes I wish I could quit.

The whole reason why I snapped is because I've been stressed out for four years now regarding parenting and working and somehow having any time for myself after those two things. I'm still freaked out about my OD because it just happened out of nowhere seemingly! I just snapped and became impulsive.

Sigh.

If anyone cares to share their back to work stories after being in the hospital it would probably make me feel better!

Well..I want to keep it positive so I won't share mine lol
But I made mistakes.
The one HUGE thing I can tell you is
Make sure you are absolutely 100% ready
Or at least 85% would be more doable
Take it slow and easy and you will be OK
Goodluck

Back in 2003 I OD'd...spent a week in the hospital. I went back to work after two weeks. Everyone was acting really strangely. I happened to find out my boss (very small company) circulated an email outlining what happened, that I'd be back and to please "be supportive". So embarrassing so it's good that everyone doesn't know what happened. I felt like I never lived it down at that company.

I'm so sorry, lady. I hope they will just leave you alone. It's no one's business! You are doing a great job as a mommy and I'm sure you are a great employee as well. As your daughter gets older, you will find more and more time for yourself. I wish you love, sweet friend!

only one person knows the truth ... after being out for a month .. I let them find there own answer ... they settled on break down and or midlife crisis ... both of which are socialbly acceptable ... deep breathing helps ...

If you had a copy of that email you could have sued them silly

The biggest thing is don't be surprised when you are exhausted. I never figured out exactly why but every time I went back after disability leave/hospitalization I was exhausted. My pdoc actually usually sends people back for half a week the first week and ideally has people work 3 days for the first 2 weeks.

Having someone spread a white lie made a big difference the time that happened. I did have the experience of going back once to find The Assistant from Hell (truly the name I think of her by and I could come up with worse if I swore when I wasn't manic) had told everyone that I was psychotic and IP the whole 4 weeks I was off. In reality I had a bad reaction to an ANTI-psychotic and spent a NIGHT in the ER. It took a bit to figure out why people were being weird and why this woman told me this long story about her son having a psychotic reaction to an antibiotic that put him IP. I was like HUH? Why are you telling me these weird things all day until I pinned down a social worker and got the truth out of her. I complained heavily to my company and The Assistant from Hell got a demotion with this being a big part of why. They should have fired her since from then on (I learned this 2 years later) the director of nursing would say something in a meeting I wasn't at about a decision I'd made, The Assistant from Hell would say "It's not my fault, Jen's in charge but I think she's wrong" and the DON would say "what does she know, she's crazy" and move on, making lists of all my "failures". Until the Assistant from Hell I was liked and respected there.

But don't think that will happen to you. It truly takes a horrible person to do that and she wound up with so many ethical issues that I had to start treating one patient myself because the patient wasn't getting treatment otherwise and then the local manager and I were sent out to lunch to make a list of issues with The Assistant from Hell. We actually had to edit to because at first it was 2 pages long and we thought that seemed picky even though it was our main issues. She got in quite a bit of trouble, walked out and was fired. What she did to me was a big part of that. I in turn got a big raise that I think was a thank you for not suing them. I was happy to take a bribe.

A few years ago I ended up getting hospitalized and then I had to go to a partial hospital program and I ended up missing over a month of work. I was beyond nervous and anxious about returning to work. I was worried about what people would say, getting asked countless questions and I was also worried about the reasons and theories that people came up with for my absence. I ended up causing myself more stress and worry by over thinking things and preparing for the worst.

When I returned to work it actually went pretty smoothly- except for only one coworker that must have found out somehow that I was out due to mental health reasons because she said, "If you are bipolar, then you need to figure out if you want to kill your sad self or your happy self." I don't know why but it pissed me off.

Other than that co-worker, everything went well. Not many people asked why I was out and as for the ones that did ask questions, I simply stated that I was in the hospital due to being sick. And I technically didn't lie because I really was sick.. mental illness can be considered a form of sickness.

So I pretty much worried for nothing. I suggest using coping skills/techniques (such as deep breathing, using anti-stress/anti-anxiety apps- such as the What's Up app or using a journal app to type and get out bad feelings.) while you are at work. Especially for a week or two after returning from a hospitalization.

I hope returning to work goes smoothly for you! Try not to worry too much because, being bipolar, our minds always make things out to be worse than they really are.

I was terrified to go back to work but when I got there I received several hugs and many welcome backs, I know how very blessed I am!!!

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I was absolutely terrified. I thought people would ask me person questions but they didn't. And I had a response ready- I'm doing much better thanks. No one wants to hear about someone else's medical problems anyway.
I totally worried over nothing, I'm sure if will be the same for you!

My work was more upset when I was off for 3 days with a horrible stomach virus/possible appendicitis which made my dr. not want me to lift and do much until he was sure I wasn't going to have surgery. I was in the ER twice in one weekend I was so sick and they couldn't rule out my appendix and there was a lot of really horrible stuff. This wasn't too long after my 3 weeks off for psych hospitalization and the manager was completely snotty about it, even though I had a dr excuse and had wanted to come in sooner but wasn't allowed. I did my best but my dr wanted me to be able to hold down water, definitely not have appendicitis and something else before I came back. And for some reason that made them irritable. (2 weeks later when I tore a bunch of stuff in my ankle and was on crutches for a few weeks they were REALLY thrilled).

I was off for three weeks for PHP in November and I was sort of nervous going back know as well. But I was surprised going back, it was more like everybody missed me and glad I was ok. Some people knew why I was gone and others did not. I think it depends on what your relationships are like in general that will give you some sort of insight on what the return to work may be like.

Remember You have value. You bring something to the table that no one else can. Love is all around. If not at work,then your neighbors,family and friend and here on psy central.
Start with feeling grateful. Then give yourself credit for your accomplishments.

Also, the only person who really asked, I told that I had Crohns. People definitely don't want to know about that.
I personally am very private about my mental illness. Those who need to know, do.

Thanks for the replies! Today went okay.

Glad it was ok. Do you work again tomorrow?

Yeah. I work at 1. I sort of have a weird schedule. Mostly noon to eight, with tuesday and thursday off. Well, mostly those two days anyway.

I did have a mini meltdown before going in though. An I can't do this moment. But I'll just keep going. I hate feeling depressed.