What's the point

I guess I'm still not completely stable as I thought I was and would so desperately like to be. I'm sitting here and I have yet to get any work done. I stare at the screen, and...nothing. It's like the veil over my brain has returned. It's so frustrating because I had a pretty good week. Especially Wednesday, I got a lot done. I was exhausted yesterday, but it was my half day, so I just had to push through a few hours. I was making progress. Why is it back to this. My mind is blank and I don't know what to do. I feel like I have to call it a day and use my vacation time. But for what? For me to sit around and do nothing? To sit here and cry all day? I feel so useless. So helpless. WTF?!

Stay at work. Go in the bathroom. Wash your face. Freshen your make-up.
You're probably a little spent from the past few days of progress.
Take a 1/2 pill if you need. Have a snack. Anything to put you in a new frame of mind.
I'm getting everything ready for my trip from Costa Rica to Florida in Sunday.
Eating fresh coconut meat mixed with rice and condensed sweetened milk. Yum. Hot coffee too.

Well I work from home, so it makes it that much easier to go back to bed.
Maybe I can sign back on later..

Ok. But don't use the time feeling apart. You know guilty.
Read. Take a shower. Watch a funny movie. Love ya Doll!

I'll try my best. When I get like this, I give myself a headache, so I'll rest for now, and maybe I can sign back on if I am able to, otherwise I'll head out and buy a new book since I finished one last night. Thank you so much for your encouragement Ocean Swimmer!!

You are not useless! You are loved...by your family and by us! I understand how difficult it is. Sometimes I stay on the computer just reading the same sentence over and over and over again. I get so lost in time and feel like I am worthess. It's not true. It is your brain poisoning your beauty. You CAN do it. If you can't do it right now, that is OK, but right now is just one of many moments in your life. My therapist always tells me to do one thing at a time and that sometimes getting off of the couch is an ackomplishment.

I just woke up from a nap where I had a horrible dream. I was even rejected there. I'm just so tired of this. Three steps forward and five steps back.

I'm sorry you're struggling . What has helped you in the past when you've felt this way?

I wish I knew. On the positive side, I was able to schedule an appointment with a therapist, but she's booked for a few weeks. As lazy as this is, I watch a ton of television. Reason being is I can escape into whatever show I'm watching. And since it's Friday, it's probably what I will end up doing.
I really think it's this new project they have me working on. It's super stressful, and I think my brain can't take it. I'm good at it, but it takes so much work. I'm so tired all of the time. I'm going to talk to my boss next week about it. I was put on the because of my previous success, so I don't know of how this is going to work..

Sounds like you feel overwhelmed. Hey watching tv isn't bad, if you need to zone out for a bit I say go ahead. I watch tv at night before bed. Sounds like you're boss really has faith in you. That's always good. I don't think you've taken steps back, just an overwhelming day.

Take it easy on yourself
Hugs!!!

You are definitely not useless. I thank you for your letters .