[DesigningWoman]

I have been really sick with the stomach flu. I have recovered from that, but it messed up my mental equilibrium somehow. My therapist, J, said I was rapid cycling on Wednesday. We talked about staying more stable via lessons I have learned. I have really been trying, but I keep sliding into depression. I am so tired of fighting this particularly tonight. I called my only close family member (my sister) at lunch, but she lives a state away. We talked which was great but now I feel even lonelier and more depressed. I texted my pastor friend and we are going to meet to talk tomorrow. I have my therapist on call at night and on weekends if i am in crisis, which I am not.
I look around my one room living space and the walls feel like they are getting tighter every moment. I despise night. I hate loneliness and depression.
Does anyone have any advice or help?
Is there any kindness out there?
Please.
DW

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm sorry you've been sick. That usually throws me too, especially stomach flu. But for me at least it usually does improve fairly quickly when the meds are in my system for a few days.

It sounds like you are doing the right things reaching out and being aware of where you are on the crisis scale.

Are you sleeping? I know that when I've lost a night or two to vomiting that it's been extra hard to catch back up.

I hope you feel better soon.

[Keegan2015]

Sorry you're having a rough time. Do you take any medication or do you just do therapy?

Try to get some rest and maybe do something healthy that will take your mind off of the depression (read, cook, play a non-stressful video game, etc).

[Ocean Swimmer]

Hi. I wish I had magic like I dream of Jeanie. Then we'd be better.
Tv. DVD. Music.
Or chat online. I'd call but I'm in CR.

[Hashi/bipolar mom]

Originally Posted by DesigningWoman

I have been really sick with the stomach flu. I have recovered from that, but it messed up my mental equilibrium somehow. My therapist, J, said I was rapid cycling on Wednesday. We talked about staying more stable via lessons I have learned. I have really been trying, but I keep sliding into depression. I am so tired of fighting this particularly tonight. I called my only close family member (my sister) at lunch, but she lives a state away. We talked which was great but now I feel even lonelier and more depressed. I texted my pastor friend and we are going to meet to talk tomorrow. I have my therapist on call at night and on weekends if i am in crisis, which I am not.
I look around my one room living space and the walls feel like they are getting tighter every moment. I despise night. I hate loneliness and depression.
Does anyone have any advice or help?
Is there any kindness out there?
Please.
DW

I'm so sorry that you are feeling so depressed and lonely. I will say that when you are sick, it takes a toll also on us psychologically but it does go away. All of your energy has been getting over the stomach flu and it can deplete every aspect of your body including your brain. I'm so glad that you have people you can talk to, even if it's on the phone. I'm glad that you are also meeting with your pastor! Hang in there! You have tons of support here and EVERYONE here gets it! Hugs

I am so sorry. When I get sick my mental well being always gets affected. My advice would be to drink lots of tea, take some flu medicine it works for you, if not have a hot toddie and go to bed. Remember you will get better, this won't last forever. Get lots of sleep and take care of yourself!

[violetgreen]

Glad you're over the stomach flu! That takes such a toll. I hope you are feeling more comfortable now.

[Nammu]

You are definitely not alone. physical illness really does a number on how I'm able to cope mentally. Did your T have any specific ideas to deal with this?

[DesigningWoman]

Thank you so much everyone.
I take lamictal, lithium for the bipolar 2, very low dose of effoxer for accompanying depression, and prn hydroxzyzine. Depression/anxiety has always been my bigger problem.
I have been sleeping too little/too much and at odd hours during stomach flu and after. Resetting my sleep and returning to a regular schedule has been really tough.
After I posted this, I couldn't sit in my room anymore. I was protesting to myself the whole way to my car that I was too tired of dealing with moods tonight. I went anyway. I took myself to the extra bargain matinee of Zootopia, which is adorable and very fun. I am so glad I did. I ran into a classmate/sorta friend I have drifted away from as we both left the theater. We talked a long time and she reiterated how she is there for me. In fact, she messaged me as I was making dinner with her phone number to keep in better contact. Consequently I am actually doing ok tonight. I guess it does pay to keep pushing and crawling on, getting out there even when I would rather curl up in a depressed ball.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Me too. Forced myself to have my worker drive me to store, then beach.
I'm so happy I did. An hour in the ocean is what I needed.

[DesigningWoman]

Good for you. It's tough. Everything seems far and difficult to get to. But if we never try, then we are guaranteed to never succeed.
While I am not an ocean swimmer, I discovered last August that I love swimming in an outdoor pool. Last month I got regular access to an indoor pool. Not quite as incredible, but still so relaxing. I am actually a terrible swimmer, but I love moving around and exercising in the water. I abhor exercising so this is a first. My favorite part is always float time. I lay on my back suspended by the water. The best is outdoors when I can lay and watch the clouds go by. I feel part of the sky for a moment.

[Hashi/bipolar mom]

How are you doing? Are you feeling better?

[DesigningWoman]

I was better for awhile, but now I am unsettled. It's an odd feeling. I have had some revelations about events in my life in the past couple of days that caught me off guard and leave me thinking that I don't know what to think. I have therapy tomorrow. I hope I can process some of this out.
Thank you for asking. I really appreciate it.