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#301
Apr 25, 2016, 03:29 PM
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I attended an event with my support group and while i had little interest in the event itself it was nice to be part of a group and look around and see familiar faces. I continue to be happy to have read about self-acceptance and had a nice time applying it to my weight -- a source of much anguish. I'm large and in charge!
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 Icare dixit
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#302
Apr 25, 2016, 03:36 PM
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Quote:
 Story of my life! |
 gina_re
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#303
Apr 25, 2016, 04:02 PM
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I'm good. As good as is gonna get. Why fight it. Sway at the beat of life.
Everybody has problems. And most don't have bipolar. Why blame every problem on the illness. Excuses maybe.
__________________
]Roses are red. Violets are blue.[ Look for the positive in the negative. PIRILON. If lemons fall from the sky, make lemonade. Unknown. Nothing stronger than habit. Victor Hugo. You are the slave of what you say, and the master of what you keep. Unknown. |
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#304
Apr 25, 2016, 04:49 PM
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Quote:
 What illness? Are you ill? The lung problems? I see. I thought you had BP and were in denial. Not surprisingly with all this talk of illness. Read my posts or the one on self-acceptance, I guess. It's not by me, so must be true. Apparently it is readily understandable and more concise. Mine are just more true, but tainted by very bad expression. Lock me up, throw away the key, you know the drill. Good to have you back!! At least you take me as seriously as everybody else, almost: not too seriously. Please get PC addicted again!
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
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#305
Apr 25, 2016, 04:53 PM
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Quote:
Hummmmmmm... 
__________________
Mania kills cells. Brain cells die. Memories become more reduced conceptually, making more efficient use of limited means. Memories shape our reality. Our memories are more or less split in two by abstractions, conceptual reductions. Mood states with memories, concepts, attached. Memories of pain and those of joy. It causes instability, changeability. Fearing that will leave an emptiness between pain and joy and a greater divide. See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me. |
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#307
Apr 25, 2016, 07:45 PM
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Quote:
 As far as my check in...it's one of those days where I would rather be alone, but lonely because I am alone. |
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#308
Apr 25, 2016, 07:51 PM
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I had that day too. Stayed inside and cleaned. The flowers were my last 2 weekends Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk |
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#309
Apr 25, 2016, 08:04 PM
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Hope you have a better day tomorrow
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#310
Apr 25, 2016, 09:29 PM
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Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk |
| gina_re
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#311
Apr 25, 2016, 11:17 PM
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Got another proposal rejected with pretty weak marks. About what I expected but still hard to see. The thing is I want to do well and get better at things now, but I'm not sure how much juice I have in the tank or how quickly I can really make things go. Felt pretty low and sad about this, but I didn't give into it as much as I would've in the past. I think the key thing is to keep going. I'm calling it "get sulking done"
 like david allen's "getting things done" but to try to stop with the wallowing and self-pity.
__________________
dx: Bipolar I (Spring 2014). |
| Anonymous45023, gina_re
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#312
Apr 26, 2016, 02:03 AM
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Really down day. Couldn't pull it together. Everything like molasses. Brain. Motion. Hour and a half late to work. Co-worker aggravating the **** out of me. (*****ing incessantly about people behind their backs?! Ever notice I don't join in? STFU!!!!!)
At home, being nurse to sick pet, and to someone going through withdrawals. Tired. Numb. So freaking tired. Last edited by Anonymous45023; Apr 26, 2016 at 02:20 AM. |
| gina_re, Takeshi
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#315
Apr 26, 2016, 12:40 PM
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Anxiety sucks
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| SillyMom
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#316
Apr 26, 2016, 06:33 PM
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Back in chains(more heavily medicated) I feel meditative, and I wonder if my life will always be a wrestling match between the painful freedom of madness and the hopelessness of chemically induced "sanity".
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk |
| Nammu
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| Nammu
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#317
Apr 26, 2016, 06:43 PM
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All my equanimity about being fat that i developed over reading about self-acceptance these past few days evaporated when i ate so much that i gave myself a stomach ache that lasted many hours. Am now considering Overeaters Anonymous.
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#318
Apr 26, 2016, 06:49 PM
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I hope I'm not incorrect reading this with a bit of humor. It's as though you plucked this from my brain. I struggle with the balance between body and nourishment as much as I do with mental balance. |
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#319
Apr 26, 2016, 07:33 PM
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Quote:
Last edited by gina_re; Apr 26, 2016 at 09:50 PM. Reason: Me no write good |
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#320
Apr 26, 2016, 09:49 PM
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Good grief, I've been writing novels today. I sent a long email to my friends explaining my BP and apologizing for my behavior since I had another bad day and was a little mean. And a few replies on here were a little longer than anticipated.
Today was weird. I drank an energy drink since I only had a few hours of sleep last night. So of course my anxiety went up. I was just b****y and wanted to be left alone today at work. I had to tell several people to stop talking near my desk. I've never done that before, but I was irritated and annoyed by everything. Then that leads to guilt. But at home I'm good. I'm happy. No worries. This bothers me. The few days so far this week is just off. Plus I've been listening to the new deftones album nonstop and it is constantly playing in my head. I love it, but it's a little distracting at times. |
| Anonymous45023, apfei
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| SillyMom
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#321
Apr 26, 2016, 10:23 PM
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I just had the worst workout ever. I just couldn't get into it. I had no energy and every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror I realize how disgustingly fat I got on paxil (went from 135 to 160)
I ****ing hate myself. I'm so gross. I'm such a loser. Sent from my SM-G920T using Tapatalk |
| Anonymous45023
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#322
Apr 27, 2016, 02:29 AM
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 Quote:
 Buckle up, strap in, and bear down. |
| Nammu
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| SillyMom
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#323
Apr 27, 2016, 03:23 AM
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Quote:
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| SillyMom
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#324
Apr 27, 2016, 07:21 AM
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Even though you look and feel disgusting from the weight gain, I applaud you for making the effort to go to the gym and do something about it. I wish I had that motivation. Please keep it going.
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| SillyMom
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#325
Apr 27, 2016, 09:06 AM
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Been bouncing all over the place lately, today so far feels stable...thank goodness
Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk
__________________
Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
| Closed Thread |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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