[Coconutzo]

Originally Posted by gina_re

Just got back from my T....I've been crying ever since...

Oh no! What's up?

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by Coconutzo

Oh no! What's up?

Just my issues from a past romantic relationship. And my current lack of ability to make and keep friendships. I have a massive wall built up that is very difficult for people to cross now after friendship after friendship and relationship after relationship have been ruined. I'm just so tired of it and don't know if I can do it anymore. I have plenty of friends, but very few are on the other side of the wall.

lots of bad thoughts today.

their was a time in the afternoon where i just couldn't focus on anything but the thoughts.

still though, cooked myself dinner and played my trivia challenge, just so i could say the day wasn't entirely wasted.
been trying to reset my password on a site tonight.. but my email address is bliocking the address of the site, so i can't reset it.

annoying or what. i get the message- check your emails for instructions to reset your password, but you check your emails- only to find the message never actually arived

blah

[Nammu]

Yesterday when I saw the case manager she had an intern observing..we got to talking about dark money and the role of big business in the government........is it really paranoia when reality is so much darker and any delusional thoughts I've ever had?

[gina_re]

I'm noticing that after breakfast, I mostly eat only when I get a headache. If I didnt, I don't know how long I can go without eating. I can be hungry, but just not want to eat. But eventually my head hurts and I'm forced to. And I'll have a mini binge. Like what just happened. And now I have a tummy ache.

[Wander]

Just realised that yesterday when packing my car after shopping I left a bag of 48 toilet rolls behind my car instead of packing them into my car. I must have driven over them when I left! Had to go back today to get more. My mind really isn't with it at the moment...

[Standup2me]

Today I wonder why I am here, where I am, doing what I do, living where I do.
Today I wonder how many more days of this I have left in me (not sui, just pressures of life).
Today I wonder if I can get through tomorrow

today i should really do something with my day.

even if it's just sending the hoover round the house

yesterday did nothing.. and the day was over

[hopeless2015]

Off today I'm going to try and accomplish some cleaning

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[gina_re]

I should not let people have an effect on my mood, but you're pissing me the f off!

But I think I'm depressed....still? Again?
Who knows
Maybe it's the cloudy, cool, rainy weather we've been having this week that's bringing me down

feeling hopeful.

[SillyMom]

Is it normal to absolutely love your highs after you've been depressed so long? It's like I can conquer the world. I want to do it all myself and don't need anyone. My libido soars and I feel on cloud 9. But I know the fall will come again eventually

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Is it normal to absolutely love your highs after you've been depressed so long?

I think it's natural. I don't resist my hypomanias too hard after a miserable Winter. Enjoy, within reason.

[Coconutzo]

Fun frenzied work day!Dehydrated,agitated but mostly just excited. I'm starting a new diet today, and I ordered a PILE of play clothes off the internet. Buzz buzz buzz goes the bee, happy as can be.

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[SillyMom]

Originally Posted by Coconutzo

Fun frenzied work day!Dehydrated,agitated but mostly just excited. I'm starting a new diet today, and I ordered a PILE of play clothes off the internet. Buzz buzz buzz goes the bee, happy as can be.

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Sounds like a uppity up day!

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[gina_re]

Still a little irritated, but junk food and favorite tv shows helped. Hopefully I can see my nephew this weekend. It's been too long.

[Cocosurviving]

Today was kinda ok. Started out sad...I'm having problems with SSA. I've been approved since Oct 2015. They started me out on SSI in Dec 2015. I was told they would have my SSDI papers processed soon. Months went by and still no SSDI. I called and finally went in person to my local office. They conducted a interview type process then said my case was sent to another department to finish up. I received a call a few days later telling me it should take the payment center abt three weeks to issue a payment !? I'm grateful to some type of income don't get me wrong. But I paid in taxes for "years". I want the SSDI which is what I paid in. I'm tired of living off SSI. This **** it for the birds. So now I'm trying to wait out these three weeks and pray it doesn't take any longer. Lord hear my prayers

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[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by zijax

Nervous about my disability court date. I have less than two weeks. Trying to stay in this day. Hard.

Good luck!

We are at security advisory level Bert, manifesting aggressive hypomania under medication:



Working like a Mormon. Watch how Bert leans into the drum at 0:15.

An escalation to level Ernie would mean we go weapons hot; level Elmo means it's on like Elton John.

[Takeshi]

Originally Posted by Seeme10

I'm tired. So tired. If I let myself feel. I cry. I am so self absorbed. My problems are no tin in the great scheme of things

From Hopeful to the hopeless. Sometimes, feeling and crying can do good, if one opened the floodgate of tears, one might break through things. Does the floodgate forever hold?

If the tired self relates to the untired self, and the relation relates itself to itself, that's positive.

Seriously though, 1st, 2nd, and the 3rd point of view, whatever you may have, I hope you utilize them all and find the self that you could live with. For all we know, you could be the grandest of something and people around you are not realizing it yet.

As for my life's update, I'm gonna be the biggest idiot for miles around or I might come back around as superior idiot! I won't say anything specific yet, I'm losing my savings fast I may not come out alive, I'm just gonna argue with the world for a bit, time to get serious. What more can I lose or gain?

Oh, btw, this is the welcome message to you, Seeme10.

Please feel yourself at home, you'll find bunch of life's matters that matters talked on here.

[Icare dixit]

Still having the blues (with an extremely lengthened vowel/diphthong, of course) . There is improvement. Downward trend, but I can discern some improvement.

I am contemplating just getting it over with, giving in, suffering severely but relatively shortly.

[gina_re]

Found some new landscapers. It is such of a relief because it is way too difficult to mow and maintain the front and back yard. They're bigger than you think once you get out there. And they did a great job!!!
I also have plans to see my six year old nephew for a lunch date later. I can't wait!

[scatterbrained04]

Been doing mostly well mentally. I think I'm at a period of normal mood. Hope it lasts for awhile. Much less stressed. Currently toying with the idea of quitting smoking.

Been dealing with allergies all week. Pretty miserable. You wouldn't think seasonal allergies would be such a big deal, but they kick my butt. Two years ago when they were this bad, I ended up with bronchitis, which turned into an infection, which later caused pleurisy. This year I just went and got antibiotics right away when the chest problems started. Hope to avoid ALL that again.

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[lilypup]

Doing okay today. Wish I could get on a better sleep schedule. I fall asleep early about 8 and wake up about 5. That's when my anxiety is at its worst.
Am anxious today about having breakfast out with a friend. I get so scared to drive. Am working on that with a CBT therapist.
Other then that, no depressed mood.

Edited to add...I did drive to the breakfast and back. And I enjoyed myself. I didn't sit there in fear during the whole meal. I was nervous driving but wth.