Can't get going

I'm still struggling, getting to work I stayed home again today I have myself paranoid that I'm going to get fired but I have FMLA I just don't feel like I fit in that I can't be there I know I have to get over this I have to get my life back on track but I afraid I'm going to fail more than anything. Now I have guilt for not going in

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Go easy on yourself. All you can do is try. I also feel like allowing yourself to take time when you need it is wise. Acceptance is the greatest gift we can give ourselves. Stay home and take care. Everything will be alright.❤️

Guilt is such a destructive emotion! I feel that if you focus on one thing at a time, little baby steps could get you moving in a direction towards becoming more hopeful. I do know that employers have many requirements by law regarding FMLA, all you have to do is give your doctor's paperwork. I'm on FMLA right now, started with intermittent, but needed the full-time leave from work. Have you been able to think about what you need? Because you deserve the conditions to become well. Take care.

I feel like everyone thinks I'm high functioning but I'm not doing so well with those expectations right now, then I think I need to just try harder. We are constantly upping my meds and I'm seeing therapist every two weeks I feel like I should be doing better

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Do you love your work?
Or would something else be better?

There is no joy or challenge in what I do but I have 21 years invested (and into the state retirement system) I need to just be thankful I still have a job and go. I can't see starting over at this point I'm already in the process of filing bankruptcy though so maybe quitting now and finding something new would be good for me. My husband would probably divorse me though

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Who am I kidding I can't leave I need my benefits, I just need to find a better outlook, like I said I need to be thankful I have a job period

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I know what you mean. My pdoc and t are amazed that I can do so well at my job when I feel so bad. Lately though it is taking everything I have to physically go. I wake up an hour and a half before, but often I am not physically ready until I have 5 min. left. I have cried in the bathrooms. and when I get home. I honestly like what I do it's just the stress and bull from coworkers make it hard. But I say all that to say I know how hard it is, but sometime you just have to fake it and go. Don't feel guilty for doing what it takes to make it through the day. I never feel guilty when I am in the restroom crying. I just do the best I can. Hang in there. you got this