Are your depressive episodes always the same, or do they seem to change? What about your hypo/manic episodes?

When I'm depressed, I sometimes get all the symptoms of major depression *except* sadness (i.e., I still get anhedonia, I isolate myself, etc.). Other times, I get sadness as well. It definitely depends on the episode. I'd say 50% of my depressive episodes involve sadness, while the other 50% do not.

When I'm hypo/manic, the symptoms sometimes change too. Sometimes I'll get less sleep; other times I won't. Though, I almost always get less sleep.

[venusss]

It's different all the time, to be honest.

[Wanderlust90]

I don't always get the sadness with depression either, the negativity is often expressed as anger, boredom, agitation but always with anhedonia. I can never quite figure out if I'm depressed or hypo with dysphoria. Then I get apathetic, sad, don't want to get out of bed type depressions too.

[Ocean Swimmer]

Mania is different varying on intensity. So one episode could send me to hospital.

While another mania would just cause me to buy 200 Barbie dolls!

[gina_re]

I've had two "different" depressions this past year. First, an absolutely deep, crushing, black hole of a depression. Questioning my existence, constant random crying spells, just no hope at all for anything. Later, it was just the absence of any pleasure in anything. The inability to function and maintain my household, difficulty concentrating and difficulty getting anything done. Just empty and would rather sleep the days away. Both are horrible.

[jacky8807]

Yes all of my episodes are different and vary in intensity
I use to walk around all the time craving mania because if I wasnt in a major depression I though I wasn't depressed. But I had no motivation no pleasure no feeling and negative thoughts with anxiety ect. I thought that may be my baseline
Happy to report it's not!! Lol
And now I feel I'm at a good baseline level I don't crave mania because I'm happy and I know the trouble being too up brings

[Icare dixit]

More and more, I just feel utterly spent and suffocating due to loss of meaningful stimulation. Looking for stimulation makes it worse at first, meaningless stimulation being worse than no stimulation, so I just sleep (if I can without meds or with them if necessary). I don't think much, just experience and wait till my senses are no longer mentally inflaming. I get better at it each time: no thinking about anything.

After some time I can distract myself with some visual or musical stimulation, it not feeling mentally painful anymore. Later still, I can face the world again, carefully and slowly. I just go outside and wander around, waiting for any meaning to what I see to return.

Then finally, I am good to go.

It's just a waiting game, really.

[fishin fool]

It changes often for me but I have experienced that soul crushing, black hole
type of depression many times and even thought about ending it many times.
Thankfully I only have had the thoughts but have never acted upon it.
Mania has taken different forms as well, from driving crazy and fast with no
fear what soever and no real thought of what could happen to a voracious sex
drive and reaching the point where sex with a woman I hardly knew was fine
with me. The thing is that is not something I would be comfortable with at all
when not going through mania. I still go through mania and depression but the
meds seem to keep the episodes from being as severe as they would be with
no meds at all.

[Patagonia]

The levels of my depression have a range but usually the same symptoms. The bleak black hole, negative thoughts, crying episodes, hibernating, agitated, just nasty.
Sometimes it's short lived like 24hrs & other times can last month's or years.
Not much with mania. And if I do get it, it's very short lived.

[seoultous]

When depressed I almost always experience anhedonia. I never have crying episodes because I simply don't care about anyone or anything to feel sad. I usually sleep 11 hours or more because there is nothing worth getting out of bed for. I wish I would die - but I am not suicidal just indifferent to life. I feel hopeless much of the time. I always worry if an episode will not respond to treatment and that I won't get better.

I am lucky though. I have a great pdoc and we usually can tweak the meds to alleviate the depression.