[ComfortablyNumb5]

Even though I'm on neither side of the spectrum right now, I feel like garbage mentally. I'm having paranoid negative thoughts and a lot of anxiety. Sometimes I feel like "well deal with it" because this is as good as it gets, and you just have to bite the bullet on this one. I feel like I'm "settling" for a mix of negative emotions rather than dealing with the way ups and low lows. But just as in relationships and marriage go, no one should just settle.

Now I realize that my meds aren't going to do EVERYTHING for me. They won't clean my house, fix my PTSD, or pay my bills. I have to do a lot of the work with therapy. I'm trying but the waiting list is long right now. Maybe once I get there these other emotions will settle down. I don't know.

Am I always going to feel uneasy tho for a minimal sense of sanity? To be quite honest, I wish I was friggin hypo right now. I'd sure as hell be replying to all these new threads on here if I was lol

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[gina_re]

I doubt it. As we know, bipolar works in cycles. And you recently had a major life change that has affected you immensely. Of course you're going to feel like crap for a while. It's difficult to see if things will ever get better, but that's because the dust is still trying to settle in your life as you work on getting everything back in order. Try to not fall from the pressure (I know, easier said than done), and I know you'll pull through.

[jacky8807]

I'm a mega poster when hypo too lol. I think it gets BETTER but not ever the perfect better we have built up on our minds. Re training the way we think isent easy either! But I think we can definitely get waaaaaay better than we are as well.

[Ripose]

I noticed that my meds have slowly robbed me of the incentive to do anything and since I am so heavily medicated I don't have hypo mania spells where I actually accomplish anything. I actually never liked the hypo spells anyways because I knew that the deep dark depression would be along very quickly after the mania.

I long ago gave up on a minimal sense of sanity and just plug away the way I am.

[pirilin]

Hi RX: I hope you feel better soon. I'm a fan of mania, I'm sorry. Anybody can be depressed.
About the meds, I was thinking the same thing. If the meds could cure it all, there will be no mental institutions.
Bipolar {{{HUGS!}}}

[Icare dixit]

Try to express your negative emotions. Any way will do, but you get extra points for finding a healthy way of expression. Maybe work on those two steps: not suppressing (reactions to and expression of) negative emotions and finding better ways to express them or prevent them (latter means you first analyse them: there are many types of anxiety and/with different causes).

And/or increase the dose of Saphris.

Hope some of that might be helpful and hope you feel more grounded and at ease soon.

[Icare dixit]

Try to express your negative emotions. Any way will do, but you get extra points for finding a healthy way of expression. Maybe work on those two steps: not suppressing (reactions to and expression of) negative emotions and finding better ways to express them or prevent them (latter means you first analyse them: there are many types of anxiety and/with different causes).

And/or increase the dose of Saphris.

Hope some of that might be helpful and hope you feel more grounded and at ease soon.

[unaluna]

Yeah pretty much life stinks. Thats why you have to be grateful for what you have. Cuz it can always get worse, then you will wish you just had what you used to have.

There - that should keep you busy for a while, trying to figure that out!

[pirilin]

I'm starting to use the old damaged brain again.
What you're feeling is the lack of Vyvance, true?

[hopeless2015]

I'm sorry your feeling this way, I was starting to do better but am in a bit of a stalemate, the meds are doing what they can and now it's time for me to step up and I'm struggling with that. Big HUGS

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[Icare dixit]

Originally Posted by pirilin

I'm starting to use the old damaged brain again.
What you're feeling is the lack of Vyvance, true?

If so, maybe drink more coffee and eat lots of chocolate (not with added sugar).

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by pirilin

I'm starting to use the old damaged brain again.
What you're feeling is the lack of Vyvance, true?

Well that could be it but I think I'm dealing with the effects it did while on it. People coming off that garbage suffer from bad depression and maybe that's where I'm at. I was put on lexapro and it is helping some. I've been doing more around the house and getting out of my room. I just feel so flat right now.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by Icare dixit

If so, maybe drink more coffee and eat lots of chocolate (not with added sugar).

Oh trust me I've been living off energy drinks for months lol. Especially when I'd come down from stims. That's another thing pdoc yells about. Last appointment she asked how many energy drinks I was having per day and of course, I lied and said half of what I am. She had a cow. So imagine her reaction if I told her the real number??? I don't want to be in her room for that moment. But I'm past the comedown from stims. What im dealing with is the damage its done to me mentally . That's why I warn people every time it comes up here. Careless drs giving this crap out for depression?! Sure you're happy when you're flying high but look at me kids, don't do it.

(((Hugs))) I'm so sorry you are in such a state. (((Hugs)))

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Thank you everyone for the support so far. ((Many hugs back))

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[st0psign]

I often have the same feeling... is this as good as it gets. right now I'm thinking yes even though I'm pretty low right now. you are right meds don't do it all, but for me I think this is as good as it gets, ive been on damn near 20 different meds, and this is the best off ive been.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

Originally Posted by st0psign

I often have the same feeling... is this as good as it gets. right now I'm thinking yes even though I'm pretty low right now. you are right meds don't do it all, but for me I think this is as good as it gets, ive been on damn near 20 different meds, and this is the best off ive been.

I can relate. I'm on stabilizers but don't feel stable. On AD but still depressed. On a AP for sleep but still wake up after 2 hours. I guess this is the day to day **** I have to deal with. I've had enough being pdocs guinea pig too. Meds that made me up, meds that made me down like Alice in wonderland over here lol.