Dx'd Bipolar II today ... not sure what to think

So I had my first ever pdoc appointment today ... and she is fairly confident I have Bipolar II. I have been seeing a therapist for 5 months for what we thought was PTSD. Now I am just so confused.
I am 43 years old, and when I had my eldest son 8 years ago it started a roller coaster of ups and downs emotionally, and when I tried two different types of antidepressants in the last year they backfired big time causing extreme hyper arousal, sexual issues, unable to handle work stress, the list goes on.
She wants me to start on Epival, at a compounded pharmacy low dose and see how I do. Has anyone tried Epivine?

Its been less than an hour since I left her office - I don't know what to do with myself. She wants me to do some research into bp2 and Epival, talk to those I trust and then I go back to see her in a few weeks to decide if I should start the drug. I don't know what to do.

Yeah, I was completely beside myself when I was first diagnosed. It's a lot to take in, especially when it comes out of nowhere. I literally thought I had ADHD and Major Depressive Disorder, and I really didn't know what "bipolar" was.

What helped me was, I stopped thinking about the diagnosis for a few days and did something else to keep my mind occupied. Then I came back and started researching it, when I finally had a clear mind. (I was just too emotional and confused when I was first diagnosed, and I knew I needed a clear mind before I started researching.)

Anyway, I've never had Epival, so I can't really say anything about it... However, I do see some stuff online saying that Epival causes weight gain. If you're worried about that, look into Lamictal. Lamictal is a VERY popular choice for BP people, and it's weight neutral. (Just thought I would give you a heads up. )

That first diagnosises is like a one two punch. Blue has the right idea. Give yourself a couple days to absorb it then look up resorces for bipolar 2. Don't get too hung up on the exact symptoms bipolar is a continuum and no two people present the same way.

Never hear of epically ether but it sounds similar to depakote. Who does well on which drug is a mystery too. Your pdoc picked the one she thinks is the best fit and really it's a process to find the right one or combo that works. That the antidepressants were so bad is kind of a giveaway that you are somewhere on the bipolar spectrum.

Lots of hugs.

I didn't know what to think either, even though my best friend and T were confident I'd get the Dx. And to be perfectly honest, it's been 5 years since that, and just recently have I truly accepted it.

My T had me read this book called Welcome to the Jungle, and it's a very good, very simple book about BP and dealing with it. I would highly recommend it!

I think epival is another brand name for Depakote, pretty common early on prescribed bp med. I thought most pdocs went for lithium first. I was on Depakote early on in my diagnosis with little effects, I was also a teenager and on street drugs at the time. id say go for the meds. best of luck to you.

I am going to step back from it I think ... I have my T appointment on Wednesday and I have emailed him to give him the heads up on what happened today. To me he kept saying PTSD ... so I don't know what he will think.
I am coming off a really bad couple of weeks with work and general stress ... so you are right I need to just take a step back. My son is having his Birthday party this weekend and I have a Plants vz Zombies cake I need to make so I will focus on that and work for the next few days.
Thanks for the heads up on the weight gain on the drug ... I do NOT want that. I have lost 20 pounds since December (from being sick from the drug reaction) and it is the only positive out of all of this.
So much to think about. Thank you so much for your posts.

Yes it is another name for Depakote ... she did mention that.

Thanks for the support and the post! I really appreciate it.

I didn't try lithium until at least 3 years into my treatment. Neither pdoc went for it first! In fact, with my current pdoc, it was one of the last things on her list! My first pdoc went with lamictal first which for BP II is what I thought was most common...and after lamictal was Zyprexa, so we even changed the class of med...

Depakote is a pretty good drug. I was on it for quite awhile, but eventually stopped because it gave me a really bad tremor. I didn't gain any weight from it at all, and I haven't really heard too much about it being a weight gainer. And a nice effect of depakote, if you have migraines, is it will stop them. It's used off label for migraines, and I noticed that when I went off it, my migraines came back (and I didn't know the migraine stuff until after so it definitely wasn't the placebo effect).

It takes a while to come to term with it.
I don't know anything about the med you named but I do know how tough
it can be to except the fact that you are bipolar.
Hang in there and do the research and educate yourself as much as possible
it helps a lot in excepting the Dx

I do get terrible migraines. It was an antidepressant I took in December to help treat my migraines that threw me into this tail spin that I can't seem to get out of.

Then hopefully the depakote will help both with the bipolar and the migraines! That's the one thing I miss about it...I pretty much never got migraines while on it!

I was speechless. It was crazy. I had to realize what it meant for my future while examining everything from my past on the train ride home. It's a lot. In a way it's a disease that not only shapes your future like most do but it helps fill in gaps from the past.

I had always wondered why I acted and did the stuff that I didn and I had always felt very shameful and then I found out what was going on. I was speechless.

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Yes ... I still feel the same way. I have so much in my past that I regret and think "how am I still alive"? I did some very reckless and stupid things in my teens and twenties, made terrible choices and that is when my anxiety started to grab hold. But I don't think this diagnosis is an excuse for my behaviour. I have been over thinking everything trying to put my finger on "that moment" when I should have noticed something was wrong. But I can't figure it out.

It's not really sinking in ... and to be honest it's making me feel worse. I have really started to not sleep again. I've increased my daily walks and meditation but it's not helping. I CANNOT go back to were I was in December mentally.

It's not an excuse but it is an explanation. Now that you've been diagnosed you can find copping skills and perhaps medicine to help reduce the behaviors. I'd recommend a Therapist who's versed in mood disorders and can help you recognize symptoms before they get out of control.

I was so thrilled when I was diagnosed with BP 2, because there was finally something that was working.

This all just feels like drama too me. Like I should be able to close the curtains and end this! I have decided not to take the meds ... I will work on this for a while and see how it goes. I am still functioning, going to work, time with my kids and husband. Not so much socially but hoping with the summer that will change. I will continue with my skills in ACT therapy I have learned and other meditation techniques. I just need the anxiety to subside and the feelings of dread. I think if I can control those I will get the upper hand on all the other things that come with it. Oh and sleep ... I need sleep. I miss sleep!
After what I have gone thru .... medications terrify me. So i think if I can work on this on my own strengths and have some success it will do a world of good for me.
Thank you so much for your posts and words .. I find it soooo helpful and comforting knowing I'm not in this alone.

That sounds like a great decision.