It's a start

Yesterday afternoon, my dad came over and talked to my husband. He told my husband, among other things, that "this ******** of you bullying her stops today." He also told him that if he is going to leave, to man up and do it.

My therapist today built me up and made me feel much more secure in my position. Tomorrow we are going for legal aid at my church. I am hoping for positive news. To top things off, I changed my ring tone to Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive. HA! I just need this sinking emptiness to subside and it's a go.

Dads can cut right through to the important stuff. Many people love you, and you will be stronger and able to grow as a mother and woman. A great big beautiful life is just ahead of you.

Thank you! That is a very encouraging compliment.

It sounds like your family is going to be there for you. That's so good and I am so glad.

I hope it goes well tomorrow.

Thanks love! I have my own little group of cheerleaders right here and I am so grateful!

I'm so glad your family is there for you in real life. Sounds like your T is too, that's great.

What a Dad! He clearly loves you very much. I am also amazed at how positive (relative to the circumstance) you are. You should be proud. With that strength and support you will get through this.

It sounds like your family is in your court. These things have a way of working out even though it can be scary. I've said it before, I think you are way stronger than you give yourself credit.

When my parents got divorced, my mom hadn't worked for 11 or 12 years. Money was hard at first, but after a year or two, it got easier.

I have faith you'll find your way, and you also won't have to deal with someone constantly talking down to you.

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You had to have your dad tell him this stuff that YOU need him to know about YOU? My life didn't really start until I told my abusive hubby to leave... and I didn't depend on daddy to do it for me.

WOW! Thanks for the encouragement! I didn't HAVE my dad do anything at all. He came over and told me he wanted to talk to my husband in private. And, it felt pretty damn good to have someone stand up for me. I try to stand up to my husband and it does little good. No amount of assertiveness combats his harsh tongue. And, I will say he seems to be more pleasant and in a bigger hurry to file after talking with my dad. I have no idea where your animosity is coming from but it is not appreciated.

Don't read animosity where amazement is indicated. I don't feel anything negative to you or about you; I'm just amazed that you haven't been able to communicate this stuff to your spouse on your own and your dad felt he had to step in. I'm sure it's nice to have family supporting you, but I'm old school in that marital issues ought to be dealt with between the spouses and keep parents out of it.... feels like you're ganging up on your spouse. Just my opinion - for that about about five bucks you can buy a coffee. And I didn't expect my opinion to be liked; on this board it seems that if you can't be agreeable with someone, no matter what, saying nothing is the best thing - which I will do regarding your marital issues from now on, even though I empathise with your troubles.

When I start showing up at family gatherings consistently without my husband, questions start. Plus, my oldest daughter starts talking about how her mom doesn't get off of the couch, calling out insults that come straight out of my husbands mouth. Or, when I can't stop crying over my husband's harsh words or wanting a divorce. It is obvious. I don't think I'm ganging up on my spouse. If I am, I don't feel badly for him. He is cruel to me and I am glad someone other than me (he thinks I'm a joke because I have been his stomping ground from a while now) challenged his behavior. The reason I read animosity in your post is because you said "and I didn't depend on daddy to do it for me." That sounded very condescending. I am not a child; I don't depend on "daddy" to do everything but, when he decides that he isn't going to tolerate meanness to me? I will gladly accept the title of his baby girl.

I also have no ill will toward you; I felt defensive due to your words. Please comment freely.