[cashart10]

My heart is so heavy. My symptoms of bipolar seem to be in remission for quite some time. But, my husband leaving me is senseless. I wish I could just shake him to make him understand how selfish he is being. I feel disgust; not with him but with the situation altogether. Who has survived a cordial divorce? Who has been able to maintain effective co-parenting? I feel like we will always be civil. He is the love of my life and the thought of divorce just tears me apart. I am praying he will have a softened heart but the thought of that seems very bleak. He is done: in his words, in his body language, and in his demeanor. I meet with a lawyer tomorrow. I can't cry enough tears.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. The way he's treated you is very unfair... but I understand why you still love him.

In my opinion, only time will let things heal. Right now you're both highly emotional, but as time goes on, the emotions will settle. Don't give up hope. His heart may soften over time.

[Nammu]

(((((((Casheart))))))

[Wander]

BIG HUGS CASHHART!! So sorry for your pain. I have been through a divorce and it broke my heart into pieces yet now 4 years later we are friends and I feel peace. Thankfully we didn't have children though so I cannot comment on that. It would be much more difficult with children involved. Wish I could take your pain away. Hang in there. xx

[Anrea]

Thinking of you and hoping you are well. <3

[Victoria'smom]

I'm sorry you're going through this.

[avlady]

i think you are going to be ok, especially after the storm of a divorce is over. it is painful i know and you will be better when it's all over. good luck

[Wanderlust90]

I'm so sorry cashart

[raspberrytorte]

I'm so sorry you're going through this right now, cash. It's so lousy. Hugs.

In my personal experience when I've gone through ****** things, it's always turned out okay in the end. I hope this will be your experience too.

[hopeless2015]

HUGS so sorry

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G930A using Tapatalk

[lilypup]

I divorced my first husband after five years. Three months later I met a wonderful guy. We celebrate our thirtieth anniversary next month. It CAN work out. (But at the time it feels like ****.)

[newtothis31]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish that I had read the postings from the Divorce 101 Facebook Group when I was going through divorce- if you have Facebook- it's a great group to be a part of. I tried to do DivorceCares at a local church, but it was very hard for me to open up to strangers.
I'm glad that you're consulting a lawyer. The first year post divorce was the hardest year of my life- I would never wish the experience on anyone. However, it has allowed me to grow in ways that I didn't imagine. Keep us posted on how you're feeling- it's one of the hardest losses you'll experience.

[cashart10]

Thank you all so much...I need the support and I'm grateful for all of you.

Today I propositioned him...sigh. He said yes, as long as I understand this divorce will still happen and that there was nothing behind it, he would do it. Of course the intimacy was desirable and I am constantly on the look for scraps...anything to make him stay. I know I can't change his mind but I cannot imagine my children's lives as well as my life without him.

Why did I sleep with him? Moreover, why did I come on to him? I am certain I made this transition even more difficult.

But, I took a shower, fashioned my hair, shaved my legs, put on makeup and a cute dress...for me, not him. I have my group tonight and I know it will feel good to go somewhere all dolled up.

Thinking of you xo

[Crazy Hitch]

Divorce is hard ... and I think that the early phase is super hard ... getting your head around the fact that the relationship is over as you move through the grieving process

[violetgreen]

So sorry cashart, you seem to be holding yourself together. I liked the image of you all dolled to go out to your group tonight. Take care.

[Curiosity77]

Big hugs. Divorce is so painful

I remained cordial with my ex for the sake of parenting. I really got walked all over. I wish I had been stronger and more vocal

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

I really got walked all over. I wish I had been stronger and more vocal

I'm sorry this happened to you. I fear this happening to me which i why I am consulting with a lawyer. I am confident that even with lawyers we can still be cordial.

[Anxiousvalkyrie]

Originally Posted by cashart10

I'm sorry this happened to you. I fear this happening to me which i why I am consulting with a lawyer. I am confident that even with lawyers we can still be cordial.

In my experience I think it's a mistake to go into divorce with any expectations of how you both will treat each other during and after the process. If you go into it with confidence that you both will remain civil oftentimes you feel pressure to live up to that (when your ex might not) and handicap yourself from the ability to do what's necessary to ensure you and your children are taken care of after the legal part of the divorce is over. Divorce is ugly. There is nothing nice or cordial about it. I understand why you still love him, but I think protecting yourself and your children is more important trying to make sure your husband still likes you at the end of all this. If he loves the kids he will not let how he feels about you at the end of this affect them.

I tried to be cordial with my ex (and he had cheated on me) and it ended up blowing up in my face. In the long run I think our divorce was much nastier than it needed to be once I realized I was getting screwed over.

I'm so sorry this is happening, divorce is a horrible thing. But it can lead to a better life. I met the love of my life after my divorce.