[mat4sanity]

I knew I'd find myself back here eventually, I am dx'd with depression but I always forget how much it sucks. That and have manic like episodes which is why I posted here... Today I've slept for 14 hours, still tired, watched youtube vids and stayed in bed for most of it... I really really need to do laundry today at the minimal but it feels like someone poured sand in my body and everytime I stand up and move around I realize how much I desire to lye down again. Also had an episode this morning where I was slamming my car door and yelling profanities at it at like 4:30 am bcuz it tried to shut itself on me again... uhg, and the thoughts are back ohhhhh how I missed them (not) Idk why I wanted to post this, I'm not looking for attention. Maybe just trying to guilt myself into being more than a worthless bed dweller and actually do something today

[cincidak]

You aren't worthless, just feeling depressed. If you need to take it easy today then make the decision that you are going to do nothing, curl up and relax. I'm obviously not a Dr, just my opinion. Don't judge yourself. Maybe tomorrow you'll have the energy to do more. Remember, it's all chemical, these feelings are part of being I'll. Are you on medication? I take a low dose antidepressant, Paxil 10mg. More than that and I'd be manic. I also take to antipsychotics for mania and a mood stabilizer. I've been stable for four months. Hoping the trend continues. I'll keep you in my prayers.

Sent from my SM-G925V using Tapatalk

You are definitely not worthless. If you can fight the thoughts and get any little thing done, be sure to congratulate yourself. You can't help your illness. It's not your fault. You don't have control over the depression so please don't beat yourself up. ((((Hugs))). We understand and know how it feels. Go easy on yourself. (((More hugs)))

(((Matt)))... Wow... i can relate about just sleeping and pulling the covers over your head cause you just can't deal. Yet i know if i don't think about it just zombie like and go through the motions to do something that eventually i click in and can function and i get over it in the moment. I understand the frustrations of feeling stuck... I wish you the best in working through this and that things will get better for you. You are not worthless, you are a person with courage, honor, integrity and the fact you posted shows you have strength... Blessings and tc

[mat4sanity]

Thanks eveyone that was definitely a low day for me... I'm currently still swinging in and out of depression. But I have had some good things happen so I may actually be able to avoid a little bit longer. Fingers crossed. I'm seeing a therapist and she has been hesitant to put me on meds yet but it has to do with no dx. There are some major dxs on the table and she wants to make sure we rule out what we can before we consider meds. I know that may seem like a bad idea maybe but I kind of agree.

[mat4sanity]

Oh and I really want to thanks all of you for the kind words really. I forgot I posted because the next 2 days included psychotic episode that were rather unpleasant but I may have resolved the problem... it's kind of complicated but I've had my first 2 days episode free so I can't complain

Congrats on 2 days free. I recently went through a highly delusional period myself and when it went away, I felt so free and grateful. Keep up the good work and keep seeing this doctor. It sounds like they are doing their very best to diagnose you correctly. Not all Docs are so thorough. (((Hugs)))

[cincidak]

Glad you are seeing a therapist, and I pray they are able to diagnose you soon. If you are having psychotic episodes , mania and depression then you definitely need medication. It's sounds like you are bipolar with psychotic features, but I'm not a Dr. My prayers are with you
I hope you stable moods continue.

Sent from my SM-G925V using Tapatalk

[Fuzzybear]