As for myself, I would have gotten a college degree regardless of the expense and be a meteorologist or a doctor. Being a professional would have given me a lot of self confidence which would have led to great accomplishments, and I would have all the finer things in life that I lack now.

So if you would like to share, I'm curious as to how your life would be different with the exclusion of bp with the ups and downs that stem from it?

I would probably have more friends

I probably wouldn't have consistently gotten a 2.3 gpa every semester in college... although I was lucky that I worked in a research lab and my professor helped me get into grad school. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to find a job with a 2.3 gpa. (Though, it's partly my fault for getting a sh*tty gpa... I kind of got into this mode where I was like "i hate school i keep f*cking up.. I might as well give up because my gpa sucks.")

[BastetsMuse]

Originally Posted by Lsswwdictb

So if you would like to share, I'm curious as to how your life would be different with the exclusion of bp with the ups and downs that stem from it?

I think I'd still be employed, in a responsible job and have more financial security than I do. I also would be more social and possibly have more friends, although that isn't a certainty.

[Icare dixit]

I wouldn't be me. That other person would've been very, very boring, probably. But if you really see BP as something you can just remove leaving all else, it would be disorganised SZ. Still a bit boring.

I prefer BP. But don't ask me the same question when mixed and that was only two days ago. I wanted it all to end, many times. But I could just as well be dead now, because I wouldn't be me any other way.

[Icare dixit]

Basically, I would put an end to it unless I were it. Not if the SZ bit remains or would have be all, though. Definitely not: that worthwhile. Just the very, very boring one.

We are who we are.

[raspberrytorte]

I don't know.

I really feel like I missed out on more things because of my anxiety.

I've finally discovered life without the depression or hypomania. It isn't boring at all actually because, with stability, I've been able to get involved in activities I simply couldn't commit to before. It's allowed me to have a more fulfilling social life. My enthusiasm and effectiveness in my job has improved. My family life is more stable and I can really be there wholly for my kids. I dread the idea of going back to being too depressed to function or even care, too hyped to really focus, too anxious to be able to make a decision, too agitated to be consistently supportive of my husband and kids.

[venusss]

I would have a husband, weekend house, would travel to Croatia only, while ignoring that the country has too its own tragic history... Would be voting for one of the two big parties and probably be freaking out about refugees instead of being single, deeply involved and backing around the troubled places of Europe, putting wild flowers and origami cranes on memorials of those who died too young, talk to ghosts in my guesthouses and hostel rooms, would not own so many fuschsia leopard print clothing items (and would not dress myself in Ukrainian colors to the extreme)...

Depressed = Sometimes
Hyped = Sometimes
Anxious = Often
Agitated = Often

Hmmm......Perhaps I'm not truly stable yet.

[gina_re]

Originally Posted by Lsswwdictb

As for myself, I would have gotten a college degree regardless of the expense and be a meteorologist or a doctor. Being a professional would have given me a lot of self confidence which would have led to great accomplishments, and I would have all the finer things in life that I lack now.

So if you would like to share, I'm curious as to how your life would be different with the exclusion of bp with the ups and downs that stem from it?

OMG!! Meteorology was my major when I first went off to college! I didn't know what it was at the time, but depression kicked in during the spring semester and that dream began to fade. But I'm still amazed with the weather (watching the weather channel right now, actually) and so I just read and watch programs about it. The plan was to be a storm chaser!! I think tornadoes are beautiful, and I'm dying to see one live! We don't really get them were I live.

But everthing happens for a reason. So although I experienced a h*** of a lot since then, I was finally able to turn it around and actually go back to school and graduate (with a different degree). So anything is possible.

[UpDownMiddleGround]

Now that I know the cause of most of my cancelled plans and isolation, I would say that I probably would have had more friends. I also would have probably had more company at my house because I would have had the energy to clean up. I would have probably had better grades in high school. Although I graduated with honors for my undergraduate degree, I would have had better grades if I had not have had the two semesters where depression really reared its ugly head.

On the other hand, I would not know the joy of getting high off of myself (mania). I would not have been able to run circles around my co-workers. I would not have been able to maintain the leadership position at work, pledge a sorority, serve at church, be a mom and wife, and maintain straight A's while working on my graduate degree.

Without bipolar disorder, I wouldn't be me. That's why I struggle with this whole meds thing -- it takes a piece of me away.

[MusicLover82]

I would be a mother if I didn't have MI. My husband and I made the decision not to have children mostly because of MI. Thinking about this makes me want to cry.

[Blaire]

I might have had two kids instead of one if I didn't have bipolar disorder. I crashed so hard after my daughter was born, I almost didn't survive it. I can't go through that again. And managing two kids would be too hard when I'm unstable.

I probably would have also advanced my career further. I've always held back because I know the depressions will wipe out whatever I accomplish in the hypomanias. That's frustrating because sometimes I'm capable of so much, but I've mostly accepted it.

[UpDownMiddleGround]

(((musiclover82))) I didn't think about that. I have one child, but after his birth, I cried every time my doctor asked me if we were ready to have another one. By the time I was ready, I hit depression and I wasn't sleeping (mixed I guess). I wasn't diagnosed with BP yet. Then came the xanex and a host of other trial drugs to get me back stable. The idea of getting pregnant again went out of the window as my mania worsened. There have also been these pockets of time that I have been a depressed mother. My son refers to those times as "back when you would be in the bed all of the time" I missed the boat on teaching some important lessons and I am trying to catch up before he is an adult. Then came the divorce. Now I'm a single mom. I wonder if I'd still be married if I didn't have BD.

While my head is clear, but my eyes are full of tears, I must say that the people here in this forum are just so truly awesome. I really cherish the stories that are shared here. I am hoping that I can be helpful along the way, just as you all are for me.