This will be interesting.

Yesterday my husband told me that I've been sounding crazy and maybe a little delusional lately. (I mean, he didn't use the "c" word, but it was implied.) So, we discussed it, and I asked him why exactly, because I think I sound fine. I plead my case, and he pretty much told me it's because I don't sound like this when I'm not in this mood (whatever this mood is. I'm not depressed though.).

So... I've been pacing and thinking about this, and:

If you can sense, feel, see and what you think seems real, than how is it not real?

What makes something delusional?

What makes something not real?

If to you it is real.

Am I making sense?

If I'm not sorry.

My husband also told me that I haven't been making any sense lately.

You really sound manic and with possible psychosis from your past couple posts, although you seem to have good control over your behavior. If I were in your situation, I would head to the ER or make an appointment with my pdoc ASAP. I wouldn't let delusions just go without proper treatment. I only say this because I care!!

You're making sense to me. Something is not real when others can't see, hear or believe it.

These are tough questions, existential in a way... I think people who are delusional DO believe their delusions and if you're aware they are not real, then perhaps they are not 'real' delusions and something else (I don't know what though).

You've sounded extra happy-happy lately which is wonderful and maybe that's what this is about. I've never understood well the fine line between super happy and hypo/mania.

I think you've been making a lot of sense in your posts, but that's me.

What are these delusions?

I think what your husband is saying (who knows you better than any of us) is an indication that maybe you're headed for hypo/mania? The pacing as well. Hard to say.

Are you sleeping?

Take good care!

People believe in Jesus Christ and you can't actually see Jesus, or God for that matter, so why are those people not crazy, and my husband thinks that I am? Just because it's something that only I believe?

I've been getting four hours of sleep.

This is freaking me out! I'm so confused now!

Four hours of sleep is usually not enough. Try not to stress. Deal with this when he gets home. Right now enjoy it.

I can't ****ing concentrate. I keep on writing two pages, then pacing, then smoking, then coming online, then writing in my journal, then listening to music, then sort of cleaning.

I'm not doing anything destructive right now. I don't plan on moving to Bermuda, or buying an estate, or running all over town partying and doing drugs, or jumping off a building or anything!

The only bad thing I've been doing is going off on people at work and destroying things. And being snappy and angry.

I'm not doing anything wrong right now!!!!!!

I just want to put a knife in my brain.

Yeah I understand. I think your hypo manic.

Don't you have a massive bees nest outside your door? lol

How did you smoke without getting stung

Thanks, blue, you make me laugh. It rained last night. Maybe it drowned.

Oh, so there's no bees nest in sight? Too bad. It would've been fun to pick it up and throw it to see what happens. Then slam the door when the bees (and the angry people downstairs) come chasing after you

I thought you were going into mania when I read the thread about neighbors.

It is confirmed by the thread on Mars.

In my opinion.

My own husband notices when I am changing before I do. It is not an insult, he has a talent for observation. After a few years of learning to understand he is my best friend and in my corner, I see his comments as helpful. He wants me to notice so I don't do things I will regret like: not take meds at the right time, send bad things to family on facebook, overwork myself and make my heart race, go on wild mood swings that will cause me to not like my actions when they are done, not get crazy into politics on twitter and fb sites that might cause me to get on the FBI radar.



I noticed it with the neighbor comment - Not because you didn't ask a perfectly normal sounding question, but because suddenly the way you view your surroundings was noticed and possibly could change... I do that stuff, then when I get back to normal me, I have to undo changes I made.

ME: "oh, my poor neighbor - look at her face, I can determine why she feels that way with no knowledge of her life, her physical health - I will bring her a nice cake and she and I will become friends, maybe I will help her with her kids, the entire neighborhood can be made into a better place if we get to know each other better, I am going to buy some flowers and plant them along the walkway and the world will be a better place":

I do stuff like that in my mind, it is a swing, a big change of how I look at my surroundings. I have tried to make rules for myself about not changing things that I am doing during swings, and also noticing I am trying to make big changes helps me to see if they are reasonable, or if I am in a bipolar change.

That was really insightful anrea!

I was actually thinking about going down there and making her my friend since we both have kids. lol

And I was trying to think of something nice I could do for the puking man.

I've never noticed these mood changes in myself until now, after accepting my diagnosis. I was raving in my journal yesterday about the experience and how I was going to save the world with my positive energy and could influence people with my thoughts and I looked up and thought holy ****! I've felt this way before!

It was a six page long rave of only one paragraph. lol

fyi, we can all tell you're hypo

it's fun when you're hypo.... but me? i'm oscar the grouch when i'm hypo. i punch things

The first I think is a good question in a way. But Just because it's something that only I believe? This is different... I think maybe this does merit a call to your pdoc. If your husband and your pdoc (and some people here) agree, maybe you're trending towards mania after all...

Please take good care of yourself and keep writing here if it helps.

I've been destroying things recently. Mainly melons.

I focus on assimilation. All society cares about is how well you assimilate with the masses. When I start going off rails, I no longer assimilate and this is frowned upon. It's important to not stand out for negative reasons. I can tell how well I'm doing by the body language and facial expressions of others. Sometimes I get delusional and everyone's body language and facial expressions turn ugly and accusatory. I become very off kilter by that and can't make sense of thing. This is when I seek help fast.

Yeah I see you as hypo. Would you be willing to go on a stronger mood stabalizer? I'm on trileptal and it works for me. Depakote made my hair fall out and lamictal wasn't strong enough...

I like and am also on Trileptal. It works much better for me then depakote or seroquel. For my delusions I also take Trilafon. It is supposed to be for schitzophrenics, which I am not - but I was told sometimes something works for more then 1 thing.

I feel too lazy to figure out how to spells schitzophrenic right. bleh, sometimes spelling is a hassle! Even with spell check.

I take gabapentin and lamictal (both high doses too! 2400mg and 400mg). Right now I'm not interested in making any med changes. I like what I'm on and don't have side effects, other than that I've become a lousy speller! I'll work through this on my own. For me APs are poison.

Lamictal is pretty good for depression, but does very little for hypo/mania

The only way to prevent the upswings (with your combo) is to take an AP, but I can't blame you... I don't really like APs either. I'm trying to get off mine. They tend to have lots of side effects

Every time I try to come off APS I get really paranoid. So I'm on Invega and have no side effects. I'm still on 2.5 mgs of zyprexa, but if I don't take it I don't sleep, so I think it's going to have to be a staple med.